It all started at around 8pm last night.  Susan asked: “Do you really need that?“…this in response to my complaining earlier in the day about hitting new record highs for weight gain. And after my 4th trip to the fridge since dinner time.  The “that” was a peanut butter (Jiffy Creamy) and blueberry jelly sandwich.  Yes, I needed it. Badly.  And I didn’t need someone, anyone, scolding me. (Am I a child?) I continued lapping the peanut butter on the bread – jabbing the knife into the jar – spreading on a few extra layers.  I don’t lift my head.  She continues on from the other side of the room.  “You know, you should read this book on life style changes in what you eat.  You can lose weight by just eating healthier.  You are not getting enough proteins.  This is causing you to crave potato chips, sugars and salty foods.”  Blueberry jam dribbles out of the corner of my mouth.  I look up.  Fat man’s blood pressure building…readying himself for counterpunching.  I glance up and glare.  She continues: “You know that I’m just trying to help.”  I take the last remaining bite and jam dribbles down my shirt…well doesn’t that about capture it.  Enough!  My turn…trade a boulder for a pebble.  “I don’t need to read a bloody book to tell me that I eat junk and too much of it.  And I certainly don’t need you haranguing me about it.”  Now, if I had just stopped there.  Trade the ocean for a drop of water.  “So tell me.  If this book is so good.  How’s it working out for you?”  Nearing 30 years of marriage you know exactly where the nerve endings are and where to jab.  Yep, direct hit.  Then regret washes over me.  But not enough to apologize.  She knows I didn’t really mean it.  Right. [Read more…]