Tag: self-control

That’s all gone now!

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napoleon

In my own case it’s taken me years to cultivate self-control to prevent my emotions from betraying themselves. Only a short time ago I was the conqueror of the world, commanding the largest and finest army of modern times. That’s all gone now! To think I kept all my composure, I might even say preserved my unvarying high spirits … You don’t think that my heart is less sensitive than those of other men. I’m a very kind man but since my earliest youth I have devoted myself to silencing that chord within me that never yields a sound now. If anyone told me when I was about to begin a battle that my mistress whom I loved to distraction was breathing her last, it would leave me cold. Yet my grief would be just as great as if I had the time. Without this self-control, do you think I could have done all I’ve done?

~ Napoleon (in a letter to Louis-Mathieu Mole)

Source: “Napoleon, A Life” by Andrew Roberts (An Amazon Best Book of the Month, November, 2014) via Leading Blog

Don’t eye the basket of bread; just take it off the table

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bread-basket-food

Pamela Druckerman interviews Walter Mischel, a professor of psychology at Columbia, in Learning How to Exert Self-Control:

…Self-control can be taught. Grown-ups can use it to tackle the burning issues of modern middle-class life: how to go to bed earlier, not check email obsessively, stop yelling at our children and spouses, and eat less bread. Poor kids need self-control skills if they’re going to catch up at school.

…Adults can use similar methods of distraction and distancing, he says. Don’t eye the basket of bread; just take it off the table. In moments of emotional distress, imagine that you’re viewing yourself from outside, or consider what someone else would do in your place. When a waiter offers chocolate mousse, imagine that a cockroach has just crawled across it. “If you change how you think about it, its impact on what you feel and do changes,” Mr. Mischel writes.

…He explains that there are two warring parts of the brain: a hot part demanding immediate gratification (the limbic system), and a cool, goal-oriented part (the prefrontal cortex). The secret of self-control, he says, is to train the prefrontal cortex to kick in first.

…Self-control alone doesn’t guarantee success. People also need a “burning goal” that gives them a reason to activate these skills

Read the rest of Druckerman’s column here: Learning How to Exert Self-Control

Find Mischel’s new book at Amazon here: The Marshmellow Test: Mastering Self-Control.

Image Source: Foodspotting

Pause. Then, ask yourself 3 questions:

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funny-gif-need-said-question

funny-gif-need-said-question-ask-2

funny-gif-need-said-question-ask-think-3

Ouch. Hitting close to the bone here…

Source: themetapicture

Sophrosyne

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word, definition

Source: Endless Possibilities

No God! Please No!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO…

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I am a subject matter expert on very few things (ask my team or my family) – however, I am a Master Craftsman at saying NO! (Ask them about this too! They would also likely say it is hard to distinguish between Steve Carell in this video clip and me.) I believe saying “NO” is critical to FOCUS, to achieving the benefits of Paredo’s Law, to effectiveness, to productivity, to Mastery, to success and to stable mental health. (Well, maybe I should have left that last one out.)  Three of my favorite recent posts on the topic:

James Altucher @ The Altucher Confidential in his post: How to Be More Productive. “…Life is simple. Saying “Yes” adds complexities to that: yes I will buy X, yes I will have sex, yes I will have that meeting and this meeting and that meeting, yes I will do that deal, yes I will buy that stock, yes I will that house. Yes, I will meet for just a drink. Don’t ever do anything you don’t want to do…No. Stop. Do I want to go visit some relatives five hours away. No. Do I want to go make a speech about something boring. No. Every time you say “No” you add to the value of your time. You add to the value of your body. Your mind. Your emotions. Your time, each second.  You add to the value of right NOW. You respected yourself. Every time you say “NO” you put money in the bank. When thoughts are angry and you say “no” to them, your brain gets stronger, more flexible. When you say “no” to the worries of your future, your future leaves open the possibility and probability of more abundance, since most worries are just fictions. So when should you ever say “yes”? When you love something. Then say “yes” to it. That’s it.”

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