I am a subject matter expert on very few things (ask my team or my family) – however, I am a Master Craftsman at saying NO! (Ask them about this too! They would also likely say it is hard to distinguish between Steve Carell in this video clip and me.) I believe saying “NO” is critical to FOCUS, to achieving the benefits of Paredo’s Law, to effectiveness, to productivity, to Mastery, to success and to stable mental health. (Well, maybe I should have left that last one out.) Three of my favorite recent posts on the topic:
James Altucher @ The Altucher Confidential in his post: How to Be More Productive. “…Life is simple. Saying “Yes” adds complexities to that: yes I will buy X, yes I will have sex, yes I will have that meeting and this meeting and that meeting, yes I will do that deal, yes I will buy that stock, yes I will that house. Yes, I will meet for just a drink. Don’t ever do anything you don’t want to do…No. Stop. Do I want to go visit some relatives five hours away. No. Do I want to go make a speech about something boring. No. Every time you say “No” you add to the value of your time. You add to the value of your body. Your mind. Your emotions. Your time, each second. You add to the value of right NOW. You respected yourself. Every time you say “NO” you put money in the bank. When thoughts are angry and you say “no” to them, your brain gets stronger, more flexible. When you say “no” to the worries of your future, your future leaves open the possibility and probability of more abundance, since most worries are just fictions. So when should you ever say “yes”? When you love something. Then say “yes” to it. That’s it.”
Alex Jones @ The Liberated Way in his post: Learn to Say No. “…Until we take back control of our lives from the mentality of trying to please others, we will never be totally empowered. Learning to say “no” is a good habit to have…”
Christian Fahey @ The Upside in his post: Ambitious to Produce. “Saying yes also means saying no. Getting to the top of the classical guitar world meant that a teenage Christopher Parkening was unable to play baseball with his pals as much as he’d like to have done. His father, Duke, had him executing deliberate practice from the age of eleven. Up at 5:00 AM to practice before school. More practice when school was over. Choosing mastery in an enterprise means you will not be able to say yes to lots of other pursuits simply because of the time and focus it takes to excel in your chosen field.”
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Live & Learn 
Man, *this* post was custom-written for moi! Thx for giving me some real substance to chew on this morning, David. Perfecting the utterance of that ‘oh so simple’ little two-letter word is an ongoing challenge for me. Nice to have it reinforced that it’s a healthy, necessary thing to say from time to time.
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If you need lessons, draft in my wake here…
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Thx David. Will do….
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David,
I really needed this reminder! As a mother of two, wife, therapist, educator, girl scout leader, Sunday school teacher, blogger… I need to incorporate “No” into my vocabulary more often so that I, too, can let life in- Need I say more. Thank you for this!
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I’m tired just reading your comment and all that you have to do. I’d get on the NO train fast…!
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Needed this today, I have a hard time with consistently saying no. Usually it comes out once I have reach a breaking point (not good). I need to practice saying no along the way and I know things would go much smoother. Thanks for the nudge.
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It’s a momentum thing Tina…when you get it going (saying no), it gets easier. 🙂
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I really hope so, I just need to muster up the courage to try it more often 🙂
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Great video…Rebekah thinks that is the only word I know.
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Well then, I think you’ve mastered it. 🙂
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I’ve been trying to work on this. This post was an excellent reminder!
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Good!
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I run the risk of turning this into another downer comment, so I will exercise some self-restraint and just say, ‘yes’ to the idea of learning how to say ‘no’, since I’ve not learned that successfully just yet. 🙂
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OMG. I’ve turned my blog into a sensored North Korean propaganda tool. Please NO! Bring it and keep bringing it!
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My friend always says, “You have to learn from my [two-year-old] granddaughter and say ‘Nonononono.'” When I finally tried it, it was wonderful. I didn’t end up doing something I really didn’t want to do. So glad to hear it confirmed as OK.
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Laughing. I’ve got to try that Nonononononno thing. It is not in my repertoire…
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See! Told you my granddaughter was smart. I’m glad things worked out for you, and David, I think you are right on. Sometimes we try too hard to please when we should be saying, “No!”
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Thanks Darlene. I’m with you…:)
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I learned how to say no when my kids were in elementary school some 10 years ago. It was very liberating and freed up so much time to focus on the important things in my life…..my family and myself. It’s so easy to become overburdened by trying to please everyone. Once you say yes, you become the go-to person. Once you say no, you’re the last resort.
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Yes, interesting how people will begin to look at you and treat you and most importantly respect you and your time…
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It’s very difficult to say no in a right manner, right time with right tone. It’s a lesson to be learned, Thanks for sharing useful post.
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True, but when you figure it out, it is SO worth it!
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Yes, to both…
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I understand the point about saying “no” to much other stuff. I find myself needing to say “no” to myself much more often, as in “No, you cannot skip exercise today.”
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Now that is a very valid point. 🙂
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Ah, saying “No” can be so very liberating! I do it like this. “No, sorry, but no.” Then I take a deep breath and go ah, that feels so gooooood! 🙂
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Completely agree Ledia…so is peace, solitude and a to-do list that’s under control. 🙂
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Speaking of to-do lists, mine, lately seems never-ending. But I like it better that way. I hate being bored. 🙂
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Hmmmmm…I’d lose my mind with an overflowing to-do list. Good for you Ledia.
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I’m one of those people that is always looking for something to do. If I didn’t, I would just blob out in front of the computer all day. I have been known to do that or play Sim City nonstop…
Once I decided to self publish my books, that has kept me going and then there is my daughter’s wedding in two weeks and my son’s wedding in August… I decided to make new dresses for each wedding…
Then there is the possible sale of my book Legend of the Tengu Prince to several schools this next year. The plan is that they are looking to use the book in their Asian section this coming spring.
Then then there is the sequel to Tengu Prince that I promised would be ready this fall and of course my blogs to tend to. Makes one just tired to think about it, doesn’t it.
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Wow. Impressive. You are like the energizer bunny. Inspiring stamina.
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I think it’s called adult ADHD. 😉 At least in my case, but thank you for the sweet comment. 🙂
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