What? What are you thinking?
Sorry, sorry, I’m just trying to think of—of things I’ve given up on.
No. I can’t think of anything.
~ Sheila Heti, How Should a Person Be?: A Novel
Notes: Photo: poppins-me
What? What are you thinking?
Sorry, sorry, I’m just trying to think of—of things I’ve given up on.
No. I can’t think of anything.
~ Sheila Heti, How Should a Person Be?: A Novel
Notes: Photo: poppins-me
There was nothing I wanted more than a grilled cheese sandwich, and I ordered it with a coffee. I was so looking forward to a really cheesy one—a grilled cheese sandwich just oozing with cheese. I thought about it as I waited, then accepted from the man at the counter a white paper plate, with a sandwich wrapped in foil that was white on the outside and silvery on the inside to keep it really warm… I eagerly unwrapped the sandwich, but when I bit into it, it was soggy, and there was almost no cheese. It was not what I wanted, not what I had been picturing, but I adjusted myself to the reality of it. Better to have a good imagination than a good grilled cheese sandwich, I told myself.
~ Sheila Heti, How Should a Person Be?: A Novel
Photo: Everybody Loves to Eat
It is time to just go into a cocoon
and spin your soul.
~ Sheila Heti, How Should a Person Be?: A Novel
Photo: Chelsea
Human life is a kind of myopia, everyone walking around, seeing only what’s in front of them, or not even that—passing each other by, embroiled in our little dramas to such an extent that we miss out on everything; making big what is small.
~ Sheila Heti, Motherhood: A Novel (Henry Holt and Co., May 1, 2018)
Notes: Illustration: Owen Gent. Related Posts: It’s been a long day
Maybe I don’t need to be doing as much as I have been doing, on the level of trying to push my life down one path or another. And maybe there are some areas of life in which one never knows. Or maybe part of me thinks that when it comes to something as profound as a human life existing or not, it would be wrong to take it too strongly in my hands, or decide too vigorously either way.
~ Sheila Heti, How Should a Person Be?: A Novel
Notes:
Just bring a background of depth and meaning to whatever it is I do…
There’s something I can feel in my brain,
like a finger pressing down.
~ Sheila Heti, Motherhood: A Novel (Henry Holt and Co., May 1, 2018)
Photo: 8tracks.com (via Mennyfox55)
He said that after the third child, he told his wife, Enough! He felt too old to have any more, so he got a vasectomy. But in the years since, he’s had many moments of regret, because once the boys got a little older, he said he wanted it again—the experience of cradling an infant in his arms.
~ Sheila Heti, Motherhood: A Novel (Henry Holt and Co., May 1, 2018)
Photo: caz gordon with Father & 2 day old Son
What do we need to know about a person in order to like them? Before she wrapped her leftover buttered toast inside a paper napkin, I didn’t know whether I liked her or not. Then, when she wrapped up her toast in the napkin, I suddenly loved her. Before she wrapped up her toast, she had been making an effort to show herself to be a sophisticated and an impressive young editor from a respected magazine. Then, when she did that, the performance dropped; not only was she underpaid, the gesture said, but she really liked toast. She liked toast even more than she liked being admired.
~ Sheila Heti, Motherhood: A Novel (Henry Holt and Co., May 1, 2018)
Portrait: Sheila Heti