from a generation in which one was what one did, not what one talked about.

old-men-bench

Sonja said once that to understand men like Ove and Rune, one had to understand from the very beginning that they were men caught in the wrong time. Men who only required a few simple things from life, she said. A roof over their heads, a quiet street, the right make of car, and a woman to be faithful to. A job where you had a proper function. A house where things broke at regular intervals, so you always had something to tinker with. “All people want to live dignified lives; dignity just means something different to different people,” Sonja had said. To men like Ove and Rune dignity was simply that they’d had to manage on their own when they grew up, and therefore saw it as their right not to become reliant on others when they were adults. There was a sense of pride in having control. In being right. In knowing what road to take and how to screw in a screw, or not. Men like Ove and Rune were from a generation in which one was what one did, not what one talked about.

~ Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove: A Novel


Notes:

Walking Cross-Town. With Al.

walking-aerial

Jorie Graham: “The slow overture of rain, each drop breaking without breaking into the next, describes the unrelenting, syncopated mind.” (from “Mind,” Hybrids of Plants and of Ghosts.)

6:30 am.
The train pulls into Grand Central, and clears. I sit. And wait.
The conductor walks up the aisle gathering tickets.
I cue up a Paul Simon playlist and walk.
The platform is empty. Stragglers amble toward the exits.
I nod to the armed guard, and slip through the open door onto 42nd, passing a conga line of yellow cabs. Not today gentlemen, not today. We’re walking Cross-Town.

Good morning America.
Dawn in Manhattan.
Sun Power lights up the skyscrapers, they lean in from the shadows to warm.
A wisp of a breeze cools, a welcome cut of the ever-present humidity, and a respite from the simmering trash and the marinating urine.

The electronic horse walks.
There’s a skip in the step this morning, loaded with a full night’s sleep, and boosted by Sun’s Solar Power.  Beast and Beast. One up Top. One on the ground. Duo is Un-freak-ing-stoppable. [Read more…]

Walking. Into the Wildebeest.

wildebeest

What was it, 20 seconds? A week ago?

I step over the gap and exit the train car.

Whoa. 

Hundreds of Suits are charging for the exits and I’m leaning into the rushing current. The great Serengeti wildebeest migration in the tunnels of Grand Central.

Hooves pounding.

I slow my pace and meekly hug the edge of the platform.

Hold on.

Hold it right there. [Read more…]

Come On Ladies. Let it Go!

forgive-forgiveness-study-chart-depression-psychology-health


Notes:

  • Source and read more at: wsj.com: The Healing Power of Forgiveness
  • Post inspired by: “It’s hard to move on if you don’t forgive,” he said. “It’s like trying to dance with a lead weight on your shoulders. The anger can weigh you down forever.” ~ Diane Chamberlain, Pretending to Dance
  • And inspired by: “I have simplified my life to just three principles, which I try to practice. I cannot say I have mastered them. I attempt. I fall, I falter and I attempt. I call my spiritual rowboat Surrender — complete surrender to the will of the Greater Power. The act of surrendering is so important that Who or What you surrender to becomes insignificant. It is the surrender itself that is important. My two oars are instant forgiveness and gratitude — gratitude for the gift of life. I get angry, I get mad, but as soon as I remind myself to put my oars into action, I forgive.” ~ Balbir Mathur

 

Driving I-95 S. With Whisk Brooms and Women.

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5:17 am. 25° F.  Rollin’ down I-95 South in light morning traffic, with other insomniacs and the red tail lights of the hulking convoys.

I roll the tape back to the scene last night.

“Wow!”
“Wow what?”
“How much did it cost?”
“$55.”
“$55?”
“$55.”
“$55 per eyebrow?”
“Really Dad?”
“What?”
“Eyelashes. Eyelashes Dad. And, who would get just one eyelash extended?”

I ponder that for a moment. She has a point there. [Read more…]

Man Deconstructed. Is it any wonder? Come on Ladies…

olena kassian drawings rising, detail 2, 36- x 29-

Jessica Bennett, A Master’s Degree in … Masculinity?:

Michael Kimmel stood in front of a classroom in bluejeans and a blazer with a pen to a whiteboard. “What does it mean,” the 64-year-old sociology professor asked the group, most of them undergraduates, “to be a good man?”

The students looked puzzled.

“Let’s say it was said at your funeral, ‘He was a good man,’ ” Dr. Kimmel explained. “What does that mean to you?”

“Caring,” a male student in the front said.

“Putting other’s needs before yours,” another young man said.

“Honest,” a third said.

Dr. Kimmel listed each term under the heading Good Man, then turned back to the group. “Now,” he said, “tell me what it means to be a real man.”

This time, the students reacted more quickly.

“Take charge; be authoritative,” said James, a sophomore.

“Take risks,” said Amanda, a sociology graduate student.

“It means suppressing any kind of weakness,” another offered.

“I think for me being a real man meant talk like a man,” said a young man who’d grown up in Turkey. “Walk like a man. Never cry.”

Dr. Kimmel had been taking notes. “Now you’re in the wheelhouse,” he said, excitedly. He pointed to the Good Man list on the left side of the board, then to the Real Man list he’d added to the right. “Look at the disparity. I think American men are confused about what it means to be a man.”

Read full post here: A Master’s Degree in … Masculinity?


Notes: Drawing by Olena Kassian @ olenakassian.com

The secret to a long life. Oh, Boy.

funny-old-age-men


Read more here: Spirit 88.3 FM – Avoid men and eat plenty of porridge for a long life, says Jessie, 109

 

 

Deep

man-woman-funny-wrong


Source: Feelinggoodtees

All is Lost

movie

…By my count, “Grudge Match” and “Last Vegas” are the umpteenth stories for men, about men and by men in which men do something one last time and with the goal of making that last time epic. And always, in one way or another, these men yearn to stop time, at least for a moment.

…If these Arthurian quests tend to put a jokey face on the core mission — Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman (him again) are two guys living large and legendary while dying of cancer in “The Bucket List” — the implication is nevertheless tinged with pathos: Men crave one last victory before coming to terms with . . . well, something. Death, I guess. Or, if they’re not quite Eastwood’s age, perhaps they’re making peace with routine. Responsibility. Maturity. The old ball and chain that constitutes commitment. They’re hoping that maybe one phenomenally fun night of boozing, flirting, smashing things, driving fast, fighting, vomiting and slapping one another on the back will ease the pain of creaking knees, pouching gut, dimming memory and domestic servitude. Excelsior!

…Or something like that. I wouldn’t know. Because we women, we don’t play like that. I can’t think of one movie pitched to a female audience in which a gaggle of ladies or a pair of best gal pals go wild in an effort to recapture feelings of long-past girlish abandon…On-screen and in real life, women look to the future. We go for the forward-motion makeover, not the backward-glancing do-over. [Read more…]

Yep, about right

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Image Credit: Humor Train


It can’t be helped. It’s natural. Biological.

woman,portrait,black and white, photography

“Beauty is often treated as an essentially feminine subject, something trivial and frivolous that women are excessively concerned with. Men, meanwhile, are typically seen as having a straightforward and uncomplicated relationship with it: they are drawn to it. The implication is that this may be unfortunate—not exactly ideal morally—but it can’t be helped, because it’s natural, biological. This seems more than a little ironic. Women are not only subject to a constant and exhausting and sometimes humiliating scrutiny—they are also belittled for caring about their beauty, mocked for seeking to enhance or to hold onto their good looks, while men are just, well, being men.

The reality is, of course, far more complicated, as our best novelists show us. They train our gazes on men at not only their most shallow and status conscious but also at their most ridiculous (the clenched jaw). It’s not always easy to know what to make of these men, who certainly aren’t wholly bad. But in a world where women are so frequently judged by their looks, it’s refreshing to encounter male characters whose superficial thoughts are at least acknowledged by their creators.”

~ Adelle Waldman, in an excerpt from The New Yorker, “A First-Rate Girl”: The Problem of Female Beauty


Image of Kaya Scoderlario from Baronvonmerkens


Kissing. 10 Tips From Scientific Research

kissing

  1. 59% of men and 66% of women have ended a relationship because someone was a bad kisser.
  2. People remember their first kiss more vividly than the first time they had sex.
  3. Prostitutes often won’t kiss because it requires a “genuine desire and love for the other person.”
  4. Men who kiss their wives before work live 5 years longer, make 20-30% more money and are far less likely to get in a car accident. Psychologists do not believe it’s the kiss itself that accounts for the difference but rather that kissers were likely to begin the day with a positive attitude, leading to a healthier lifestyle.
  5. It matters a lot more to women than men.
  6. Ninety-six percent of women reported that they like neck kisses, while only about 10% of men do.”
  7. No matter how attractive someone may be, poor hygiene can kill the moment before it even begins. This is particularly true for men. Women depend heavily on taste and smell and pay close attention to teeth when evaluating a partner.

Read all 10 Tips and a great post at @ Barking Up The Wrong Tree


Image Credit

Shave much?


I’m average as to time spent shaving (2 min).  I use the minimum number of strokes shaving. (No time to waste.) I’m with the pack on nicks.  Average man takes 200 average strokes to shave…REALLY? And, I want to meet a man that spends 25 minutes shaving with 700 strokes.  This WSJ article goes on to dispel some myths.  Here’s the facts:

  • More blades = Better shave (I believe this…Gillette has me fully brainwashed)
  • Water temperature matters (hot is good) (I believe this…)
  • Pre-Shave routine.  Clean face = better shave (Makes sense…)
  • Use Brush to apply shaving cream (Hmmm.  Not a believer…)
  • Moisturize before shaving to avoid irritation (Come on.  Men don’t use moisturizer before shaving)
  • Toss blades when they are tugging (Forget the blue strip turning white.  Marketing gimmick.  Although it does get into my head.)
  • Go With the Grain (For years, I thought that going against the grain gave you a closer shave.)
  • No cure for nicks (I have a lot of opportunity to practice here.  I will find something.)

    See full article and Video @ WSJ: In Search of the Perfect Shave: Calling out the Myths

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