(Old) Man Down….

Yes, a Rant. It’s been a while. And in my current condition, it seems to be rolling from Mind to fingers to keys to page. If you are highly sensitive, skip this post, whack me with a comment, or toughen up. While I lean Liberal, I do believe that those that borrow, should pay it back, like the rest of us who passed on vacations, lived within our means, and don’t expect the Government to clean up our bad decisions.

But I digress..

This all started a few days back. The event was a harbinger of things to come, a dark cloud hanging low and tracking. Ouspensky says: “The strangest and most fantastic fact about negative emotions is that people actually worship them.” And in the Negative, lies this Agnostic’s God.

I digress. Back to the story.

I shared a comment on a photo series on Instagram. Oh, Sorry, it’s “Insta” as the younger generations call it. More evidence of doing anything to cut corners, do less work, get Govt handouts and make my Generation look like Pterodactyls. And I don’t want to hear this crap (kernels of truth that may exist), that our Generation ran up the debt, polluted the Oceans, dumped forever chemicals in our drinking water, and cut with abandon the carbon producing forests. Always some stupid shortcut — it’s Instagram you lazy scoundrels.

And again, my apologies, I digress.

After sharing some constructive feedback in an INSTA comment, the reply was, “WTH do you know you old Coot.”

I mean really, that escalated quickly.

I had to look up Coot, figuring for sure this was some form of discrimination that I can litigate on. Old-white-Man-Coot. Sounds offensive to me. “Coot” – simple and harmless.

Continue reading “(Old) Man Down….”

Riding Metro North. With El ConVirus.

El ConVirus.

Platforms sparse.

Wide berth between waiting commuters.

Subways with empty seats during Peak hours.

Hands tentatively reaching for hand rails, door handles.

Hand shakes replaced with knuckle bumps and elbow touches. Followed by Smirks. The new greeting code.  Disquiet.

Travel curtailed, discontinued. Conferences cancelled.  Large meetings shifted to conference calls.

Corporates scrambling to pull together Business Continuity Plans. First one, then two, then more work from home, with sniffles, with flu, with Something.

Fear spreading like Bay Area fog.

I twist in my earbuds, fire up Audible Books on Tape, and settle in for the commute home.

75% through Colum McCann’s Apeirogon.  “Apeirogon, a polygon having an infinite number of sides...Combing the signals like moisture from the air.”

A cough. A sneeze. Duck for cover.

Combing the signals like moisture from the air.

 


Photo: Pierre Bacus via Aberrant Beauty

Here comes the sun

Winter-sun-forest-trees

Day 1: Tickle in back of throat. Sudden bout of sneezing.
Day 2: 2 am. Difficulty swallowing. Throat burning.
Day 3: Fatigue. Fog. Tough guy regrets not taking a flu shot. (again)
Day 4: Man Down. Working from home. DayQuil to NyQuil to DayQuil loop. Delirious.
Day 5: Winded walking up the stairs. Read same page 3 times. Heavy eyelids.
Day 6: Thick nasal discharge. Can’t taste or smell food. Chocolate still Ok though.
Day 7: Patient care provider: When will you take a shower and get out of the house?
Day 8: Is that a break? Have the clouds moved? Has the sun muscled through and ignited the hills?


“You’ll be driving along depressed when suddenly a cloud will move and the sun will muscle through and ignite the hills. It may not last. Probably won’t last. But for a moment the whole world comes to. Wakes up. Proves it lives. It lives—red, yellow, orange, brown, russet, ocher, vermillion, gold. Flame and rust. Flame and rust, the permutations of burning. You’re on fire. Your eyes are on fire. It won’t last, you don’t want it to last. You can’t stand any more. But you don’t want it to stop. It’s what you’ve come for. It’s what you’ll come back for. It won’t stay with you. but you’ll remember that it felt like nothing else you’ve felt or something you’ve felt that also didn’t last.”

— Lloyd Schwartz


Credits: Image Source: Winter Sun by Onodriim. Poem Source: apoetreflects

Man Down

head cold

It was born on Thursday morning. Source, unknown.  Lousy night’s sleep.  Scratchy throat.  Teasing cough. Oh, oh.

By lunch, phlegm was sliding down the nasal passages.

By mid-afternoon, slow ripples…no waves, waves of low level, throbbing migraines.

I skip over major projects.  Start pushing off meetings that can be deferred.  Manage to creep through the afternoon aimlessly picking at project-lites.

Leave at 5:30.  Head home.  To rest.

“Starve a cold. Feed a fever.” (Why then, am I sitting at the table eating like a wolf?)

Vicks NyQuil Cold & Flu.  I roll the shimmering green gel tablets in my palm – calm settles, I pause, and I swallow.  (The Nightime, Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching, Stuffyhead, Fever, So-You-Can-Rest Medicine.  Yes, as advertised.  This sh*t works.)  Magic. 30 minutes later, I’m gone.  Dream land.

Friday morning.  Eyes open.  Wary.  But feeling rested.  Hey, I feel better.

I approach the decision tree.  Stay home – contain contamination. Or, Soldier on.  Decision? Off to work it is.  Real men, work.

Steady downward spiral.  Hour by hour deterioration.  Popping Sudafed tablets.  Phlegm no longer phlegm.  Mucous. Vicious type.  Sn*t.   No longer a gentle slide.  Running. Continue reading “Man Down”