Tag: Addiction

I cannot even believe the place that I’m in

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Nashville shut down it’s legendary Broadway for Post Malone last month…One of the biggest pop stars in the world, singing with one of the biggest names in country.  Stars like Luke Combs signed up quick for Post’s Country Album… Post Malone wasn’t met with that kind of acceptance in the beginning. In 2015, when his hip hop track White Iverson dropped on the internet and went viral, he was called a culture vulture, a one-hit wonder. 

Q: “How did that feel to you?”
PM: “It sucked yeah. I was a kid.”

Q: “How did you deal with it?”
PM: “Drink a lot.”

Q: “Did you take it personally?”
PM: “Absolutely it’s hard not to. It’s not for the people who hate you. It’s for the people who love you and for yourself.

A decade later he has more than 40 billion streams on Spotify and six number one hits including a pop song, a hip-hop track, and most recent a country tune.

PM: “It changes your life in the best way ever, and the most beautiful thing is she has a beautiful Mom.” Q: “She saved your life (new born daughter).”
PM: “That True. Her and her Mom. Four years ago I was on a rough path.”
Q: “What were you wrestling with then?”
PM: “Everything, it was terrible.”
Q: “You were already really successful.”
PM: “Yes, Sir.
Q: “So what was what was troubling you.”
PM: “Loneliness.”

Post said he was spiraling. Downward.

Continue reading “I cannot even believe the place that I’m in” →

Monday Morning Wake-Up Call

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It started on Tuesday, last week. I mistitled the post Monday Morning Wake-Up Call and here we were on Tuesday, after a long weekend. You can see where my head was at.

Rather than post original content (well is dry), I threw up yet another clip from yet another distinguished poet, essayist or author. This one by Arthur Brooks on Kierkegaard’s Three Ways to live move fully – – – instead of seeking a new life, the answer is to go deeper in the one you have.

Kiki, a virtual friend and follower, ever vigilant, gets right to the gist of the matter. So, why’d you post it? What’s going on with you? The first two nicked me. The last one – – which Kiki floated in over the weekend…Don’t you have anything of your own to post? Now that hit a nerve.

Continue reading “Monday Morning Wake-Up Call” →

Maybe I’m not so bad after all

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He recognizes that when we forgive ourselves for being flawed and human, we naturally spread that forgiveness to others. Forgive yourself every morning, every night, every few minutes, if that’s what it takes….You tell yourself again and again: I am doing my best. And in fact, every life is an impossible tangle of mistakes. Flailing confusedly, craving more love, more safety, less loneliness isn’t just human; it’s the signature move of every human alive.

What’s incredibly sad but ultimately hopeful is that by the end of his book, Mr. Perry seemed to be waking up to the simple joys of gratitude, connection and empathy. He seemed ready to forgive himself for not living up to his own perfectionist standards….

His honesty in the face of his enormous pain should remind us that all human lives are formed from a tangle of mistakes. We will all mess up, today and tomorrow, but forgiveness shapes us into something less punitive and more sublime, a person who offers love instead of demanding it, a person who seeks peace instead of vengeance, a person who has the courage to say what Mr. Perry finally says to himself at the very end of his book:

“I look out at the water, and I say very quietly, ‘Maybe I’m not so bad after all.’”

— Heather Havrilesky, from “Matthew Perry Told the Truth About Everything” (NY Times, November 3, 2023). Matthew Perry, 54, died October 28, 2023.

Matthew Perry Portrait from People Magazine, October 29, 2023: Matthew Perry Once Said He’d Give Up Fame and Fortune to Avoid Facing Addiction: ‘I Would Trade It All’

Lightly Child. Lightly.

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Yet we’re still programmed to think and act as if we don’t have enough. As if we’re still in those ancient times of scarcity. That three-pound bundle of nerves in our skull is always scanning the background, picking up and prioritizing scarcity cues and pushing us to consume more… Aren’t addiction, obesity, anxiety, chronic diseases, debt, environmental destruction, political dispute, war, and more all driven by our craving for…more?

— Michael Easter, from “Scarcity Brain: Fix Your Craving Mindset and Rewire Your Habits to Thrive” (Rodale Books, Sept 23, 2023)

Notes:

  • Highly rated by Amazon readers and Goodreads. Amazon’s Pick for Book of the Month in October, 2023. An engaging book explaining the what and the why, but if you are seeking solutions to break addictions, cravings, etc, you won’t find them here. (I was left wanting! Where’s the chocolate ice cream!?!)
  • Post Title & Inspiration: Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

Walking. High on Sucralose.

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I walk.

1055 consecutive (almost) days on this daybreak walk at Cove Island Park. Like in a row.

43° F. Spring is in the air.  Heavy fog is lifting.  A runner, a pair of kayakers, the ever present Canada Geese to remind me where I came from, and me.

I walk.

I circle back walking the wind swept shoreline, and there are my footprints, my Heavy imprints.

“You’ve gained a few pounds since your last annual physical.” We’re both masked, she’s looking at me, and my eyes lock in on hers. I don’t bite on the “few pounds” slight, I know exactly how much weight I’ve gained, and I wouldn’t describe it as “few.”

“Could it be triggered by the medication I’ve been taking since December?”

“No chance of that,” she says, the response coming way too fast and way too confident.

There’s a moment or two of silence, my body temperature surging, I’m broiling in shame. I don’t respond. Continue reading “Walking. High on Sucralose.” →