5:45am.
I’m in the car off to work.
It’s dark.
It’s cold.
It’s wet.
I’m scanning my playlist to find a match to my mood. I’m challenged. Nothing seems to fit. Nothing that is, except the weather.
Mind pans back ten years. A sunny day in Miami. A lazy Sunday afternoon. She loves car rides. The sun roof is open. Andrea Bocelli is crooning on the cd player. We’re crossing the Rickenbacker Causeway. The City center is on our left. Biscayne Bay’s shimmering aquamarine blues are on the right. A warm tropical breeze is gushing through the windows. I look over and her eyes are closed and her hair is blowing in the wind. A portrait of youthful bliss. An indelible image that can be pulled up at will.
She said her goodbyes yesterday. Her holiday break is over and she’s heading back to college. The final term of her junior year. Time, yet again, setting its own blistering pace.
Ten minutes before jumping into the car, I walk down the hallway. Everyone, including Zeke, was fast asleep. I debated for a split second. Why wake her? And then wondered how many chances I would have left. Chances to live in the same house with my daughter and kiss her goodbye on my way to work.
I grope around in the dark to find her cheek. She rustles and turns.
“Goodbye Honey. Have a safe trip back. I hope you had a wonderful vacation.”
“Goodbye Daddy. I did. I love you.”
I come across Chris Botti’s rendition of “Time to Say Goodbye.” Tears streaming. With her “Goodbye Daddy” echoing in my head for the remaining ride to the office.
There is no light in a room where there is no sun and there is no sun if you’re not here with me, with me. Into me you’ve poured the light…When you’re far away I dream of the horizon and words fail me. And of course I know that you’re with me, with me. You, my moon, you are with me. My sun, you’re here with me with me, with me, with me.
Image Source: ohheytayla. Lyrics: Time to Say Goodbye.
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Chin up beautiful daddy…
Thanks Sheri…we’re up!
Just listened to Chris Botti (sorry, never come across him before). I get why you were in tears. The emotional equivalent of whipping yourself with a holly bush? Did you have to do it to yourself? Hope you’re OK now.
M
Chris Botti? Legend US Jazz Trumpeter. Not sure I would categorize it as a whipping of any type. Closer to melancholy…Our mantra here is to dust off and get back in the game.
that’s really touching… and a reminder to me that this insane patch of my parenting life will surely be over in time to come and I too will be feeling that ache of last good-byes…. sending deep love to soothe your ache, maybe just a little…
Cherish the time with them. It often feels frenzied, harried, chaotic, frustrating with peaks of light and happy. But when you look back, there’s nothing that can replace that time or the special moments. Thanks for sharing.
I cry because I get it, and because it’s beautiful, and because life changes things even though some things remain the same. Oh David, some days you just cry..and know that others are there with you.
Thank you Mimi.
what beautiful music. and what a beautiful reason to shed tears. don’t we all have just SO much to celebrate!!
We do Anake. We do. (And yes, it is beautiful music)
You are so very lucky to have this bond with Rachel–perhaps the pain of her departure may be leavened by the knowledge that you send her back into the world wrapped in a blanket of love that gives her the strength and confidence to realize her full potential. And believe me, that is a tremendous gift…..
Thanks Donna. I’ll take that medicine.
Fathers and Daughters. So sacred.
Won’t get any argument from me Sandy Sue.
For me the most beautiful relationship on Earth is of a Father and Daughter. Cheer up, Mr. Daddy =)
Thank you Sonia.
Beautiful. You would think the goodbyes would get easier but I find each one gets harder and harder….
Thank you. I agree.
Very touching…thanks for sharing this beautiful piece, David.
Thank you Vicki
Wonderful post, David. I just love that Chris Botti track.
Thank you Sylvia. Me too…:)
You did it again…tears. Love to you David.
Thank you Carol
David ~ you are amazing…what a beautiful memory for you both!
Thank you Misifusa
How wealthy you are with such remarkable treasures. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks Stephen. Be grateful that you have several years in front of the empty nest.
You nailed the feeling dads get when their precious daughter is spreading her wings.
Thank you Keith.
So touching David…brings tears to my eyes…our children are our treasures
Thank you Tina. I so agree…
Tugging at the heartstrings again.
That was a lovely way to express yourself, David. Beautifully written. I was with you in my mind as I read the words.
Thank you so much Anneli.
Dave–My daughter went back to school this past Monday. You have described by feelings exactly. Texting and Slype help, but……
Hi Steve. Happy New Year. Thank you. And fully agree on the punch of the “love you Daddy” words. Have a great weekend. Dave
The picture caught my eye right away but sharing your thoughts hit my heart. Nothing better than hearing the words “love you daddy!”
Yes Lorne. The “Daddy” tugs at the deepest crevices of the heart.
Time flies. Wow. Junior year in college. You have done great! I can picture the whole scene. asalways very touching story.
Hi Paco. It does fly. Thank you.
So sweet
Thank you Sarah.