Wally’s Great Adventures (50 – ‘snow day!’ – VOLUME UP) hello friends, wally here. i woke up this morning to see the world painted white. amazing! magic! like cottonballs all over. dad came back from his walk and i helped mom and dad clean the driveway. mom said that i was an excellent helper. dad smirked and looked at me and said ‘what are you doing?’ ‘what do you mean dad?’ ‘what are doing walking on your tippy-toes, and shivering like a little kitten? do you know you are canadian?” and dad told me that while i’m sharing my Great Adventure stories across the internet, to tell all you nice ladies out there he had nothing to do with me going out without my coat on. i told mom that i love her but i hate those stupid itchy jackets and i won’t put them on. and after all that fresh air and running on and eating the cotton balls, i took the world’s longest nap. so good. have a good evening everyone. Wally

Wally’s Great Adventures (49 – ‘yakety yak’ – VOLUME UP) hello friends, wally here. mom bought me a yak cheese bone that she said came from Nepal, wherever that is. dad overheard that and said what? you paid how much for what from where? mom asked dad if he was hard of hearing, and repeated that it was a yak cheese bone from Nepal. dad said it might be a cheese bone, but there’s zero chance it’s coming from a yak or from Nepal, and likely coming from some con man milking goats in new jersey. i didn’t know what all that meant but this man from New Jersey makes great cheese bones. tgif everyone. Wally

(VOLUME UP on VID). hello friends, wally here. all week i’ve been watching dad give sully a peanut butter snack, and what do i get, absolutely nothing. my 10 kazillion smell receptors go wild for that peanut oil smell but dad said no treats until i shape up, and get on the road to show quality, and at the pace i’m going that could be years from now, with my lack of discipline and mom, the world’s biggest softie. that wasn’t nice at all so i barked at dad, and when he left to go upstairs i decided to take matters into my own paws, and i reefed on the towel that was inside sully’s crate, dragged it out, and licked the tiny little morsels of peanut smear that sully left on the towel. i have to say it tasted so good, that little bitty amount of peanut butter, and next time to show dad, i’ll drag that entire crate around the house until i can flip it open on its back…desperate times call for desperate measures. happy monday everyone. yours truly, your peanut-butter-yearning Wally.

hello friends, wally here. BIG DAY. BIG. as you know, today dad was on a mission to execute his show-quality-training regimen, whatever that means. dad said we couldn’t take naps or horse around eating sticks and scat, and we wouldn’t be running and hiding behind mommy, this was serious business. dad also said absolutely no tennis balls for sully, at which point sully fell to the ground, rolled on his back and wailed like a baby. mom yelled at dad and said that he wasn’t training, he was bribing, and he’s drained most of the dog food. anywho, you just have to see dad’s last training session. (VOLUME UP ON THE SLO-MO VIDEO.) this was my first ever jump up to the ottoman unassisted by mom or dad. dad is best show-quality-trainer ever. mom said sully and i did an amazing job, and dad just looked like a giant walrus. good one mom! have a great weekend everyone. Wally.

hello friends, wally here. my new winter coat arrived today, just in time for the cold snap. check out my fancy yellow jacket, dad said that all the girls will swoon over me, la de da, he said. dad took the shot, just b4 we went for our walk, and he called sully and me The Blues Brothers… “everybody needs somebody to love…I need you you you…I need you you you…I need you you YOU…” wow, happy dad. freeze this dad moment. TGIF everyone. Wally.

hello friends, wally here. long day. got a lot done. electrician came to fix the internet, dad begins to get the shakes if wifi cuts out for even 10 seconds. i was helping the nice man who had lot’s of cool tools, i chewed on his leather tool bag and the bottom of his jeans, while sully was going mental barking at the neighbor dogs out for a walk. mom took sully and me to the park, i walked the whole way by mysself keeping up with sully, and i told dad that mom called me something special, which made me feel good. dad laughed and said everybody is special to mom, she’s mostly a saint except when it came to dad as she rides him mercilessly, and she won’t let him get a kitten, a little bitty kitten. i didn’t get that at all, because mom is so nice, and a kitten would be nice. anywho, between the long walk with sully, wrestling with sully all day long and watching spaz sully chasing tennis balls in the back yard, i’m like totally exhausted.  dad has a day off tomorrow, sully is already amped up about chasing the tennis ball for 8 hours straight, and dad said he will spend all day tomorrow whipping me into show-quality shape. i can’t wait! good night everyone. Wally.

hello friends, wally here. my big bro sully is visiting this week. let the good times roll. dad says its a good damn thing he loves sully so much or rachel wouldn’t be so quick to dump him at this no-charge high end kennel service and run. dad says rachel does share such nice photos on instagram from the beach in naples while mom and dad are at home up north wiping sully’s a** after he poops. i can’t tell if dad is really irritated from wiping sully’s a** or irritation is just his normal state. anywho, during training today mom explained that today was valentine’s day so i have been giving sully kisses all day. (see great photo mom took of me giving him smooches) i’m really good at giving sully kisses and cleaning up his juicy saliva drips. i do wonder if sully is irritated all the time just with me or its because he hangs around dad so much. dad said I really shouldn’t be kissing my brother, he said it’s something bad like in-pressed or in-chest. and then he said that while it’s ok to be kissing boys, i should really try kissing girls instead, not like mom or rachel, but girl puppies. i told dad that there were so many rules, can’t kiss my brother, better to kiss girls but it would be ok if i kissed boys sort-of-like, but girls would be nice, but not mom and rachel. i was so confused, so i told dad i’ll do my best but he should line up some girl pups and let me go at it. during training today, mom explained to me what hump day was, i didn’t really get the problem with it. later when sully, dad and i were playing, dad said he never saw anything like it, describing me having a sick obsession with sticking my wee wee in any part of sully that moved. i barked at dad and said that wasn’t nice, and told him i was just training up for when he brings the girl pups over. otherwise, it was just such an awesome day today to be alive and spending time with my best big bro sully. have a good evening everyone. i need to rest up for tomorrow! it’s HUMP DAY! Wally.

hello friends, wally here. more big news. mom and i have been going on morning walks together, well, sort of. mom carries me a good part of the way, she’s so warm and cuddly, and then when her back hurts, i wiggle in her arms to let her know that i guess i can walk a bit. dad weighed me yesterday and said i was 14.6 lbs. he called me his chubby little low-rider, whatever that means. dad said it’s a good thing mom is so nice, because if it was him, i’d be bouncing behind him on my chubby little belly like a beach ball, no carrying his show quality chubby big head. i barked at dad as that wasn’t nice, not at all, and we shouldn’t be comparing the size of heads because his blocks out the sun. well, after all that, mom said i did the best ever by walking an entire mile by mysself, and i was so tired when i got home. mom took some pictures of me sleeping (that’s the video, press go on 2nd pic & volume up!)…and dad said between mom and me, he couldn’t decide who snored louder, and whether it was a bull horn or the Metro North whistle, which was problematic enough, but this wally sleeping with my eyes open, really freaked dad out. i told dad that i had to watch dad even when i was sleeping so he wouldn’t pull a fast one on me. always on high alert, yours truly, tgif everyone. Wally.

Wally’s Great Adventures (42). hello friends, wally here. more big news. mom and dad were in the other room, whispering, and telling secrets. little do they know that i can hear everything, and dad says blabbermouth mom tells everybody everything and word gets around the globe faster than the internet, whatever that is.  anyhoo, dad said that wally hasn’t shat or peed in the house for weeks, and mom said she thinks its been a month. A month! Dad said. Yep, mom said, i think our wally is advanced for frenchies. dad just stared in disbelief, and then said, advanced alright, advanced in walking on three legs, having curly cauliflower ears, and playing with hisself, almost, just almost show quality he said. Then dad whispered to mom, don’t you dare tell wally that wednesdays are hump day, i can only imagine what he’ll do next. i didn’t know what all that meant, esp hump day, but if it was about me and coming from dad’s mouth, it couldn’t be good. so i ran around the corner where they were whispering and barked at dad and told him that he wasn’t very nice. Anyway, I’m sharing some pictures, including one of me and my best friend monkey. i know what you are thinking, and it’s not very nice, monkey does not look like dad without a mustachio! have a great HUMP DAY everyone. Wally.

Wally’s Great Adventures (41). hello friends, wally here. dad must have been ill, he was gentle dad this morning, in a soft moment, a frequency of occurrence like haley’s comet, he said NOBODY gives him a full-body-wiggle-hello, NOBODY gives him a welcome home like I do. he said it warms him all up inside, yes, he said that. he said mom used to do it a long time ago – when she saw dad, she would wiggle her a** and other things, but he said she doesn’t do that anymore, and she just wiggles her finger at him, and complains about her bad back and her sore feet. so, each morning, i wait under the table for dad to come home from his walk, i hear the garage door open and here we go. look at dad and me dance. i love dad, he’s the best. have a great weekend everyone! Wally. (Volume Up on Video!)

Wally’s Great Adventures (40). hello friends, wally here. whoo hoo, big news today. it all started with mom reading all your comments on yesterday’s post accusing dad of puppy abuse by sending me out in the arctic tundra without a jacket. mom was horrified, and wanted you-all to know that I have grown so fast, my jackets don’t fit around my coochy belly. so mom and i went shopping today to a custom frenchie dress shop, and did we get some awesome stuff, new jackets with hoodies to cover my ears, new vests, fleece underwear gotchees just like dad has, so dad and i can walk around like twinners in the neighborhood like Boyz in the Hood. just check out the photos. dad saw mom and me come home with so many shopping bags and he said WTH is all that? mom said just you wait and see. he stared at both of us, shook his head and went back to work, mumbling something getting rash, having holes in his socks, while his dog is strutting around in custom outfits. it’s been a great day here! good night everyone. Wally.

Wally’s Great Adventures (39). hello friends, wally here. i went outside to find light fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky, it was like magic, so beautiful. dad called it a christmas eve moment in february, so i asked him, where’s my gifts, where’s my new toys, where’s my new chewy bone. well, that just set dad off on another wild tangent. dad said when he was my age he used to get thick wool socks and oranges for xmas and wasn’t so rude like me asking for more toys, when i had so many toys already. i was getting bored with all this and i walked away cause i caught a whiff of some scat, and dad yelled at me, to stop right there, stop smelling the scat, and listen up. he told me to put my paw down, stop looking for birds, I’m not a bird dog and will never be one. i barked at dad and said that wasn’t nice. dad then asked me to look at his back, and then his knees, he said that all these body parts hurt from carrying my load, working day and night, to buy my dog food, pay my vet bills, pay for all these fancy jackets, and now all these toys. he said he’s not having it, he can’t work til he’s 90, and I had better start carrying my load, or mom and i are going to have to go to work. he said that I can choose, shape up or go find a job. It was my choice. dad saw my eyes bulge out, and he said, he’s not kidding. just at that moment the little, fluffy snow ended. dad, ever powerful, turned the christmas eve moment into freezing rain so i ran to the door to go inside. where’s mom, i love mom and I’m sure she won’t tell me to go to find a job. i’ll keep you posted. goodnight everyone. Wally.

hello friends, wally here. dad says he’s agnostic but today has him spinning and wondering, must be sunday, date of Sabbath, could there really be a God, whatever all this means. what i do know is that, he seemed less angry at / irritated with me which is like huge progress. he said that one day in a row isn’t a miracle but as it pertains to me it’s damn climbing Everest, whatever that means. i’ve not eaten shat or scat, one day in a row. i’ve not shat or peed on the bed or in the house or under the kitchen table, one day in a row. i didn’t yank and yank and yank on my wee wee today, one day in a row.  I didn’t walk around on three feet, with one paw in the air looking up at the sky, like an idiot, one day in a row.  and, mom took me for a walk, i didn’t shake like a little kitten, again as dad emphasizes for God’s Sake. and i walked a full mile without my mommy holding me in her arms like a little girly puppy. dad watched the video with me walking, ‘hauling ass’ he described it, ‘champion little beast’ he called me, ‘show quality’ he whispered… and quickly added, for one day in a row. i could swear i saw a tear on dad’s cheek, i did see a tear, could he be proud of me? I barked at him, and asked him if he was crying and was that a tear? He walked away mumbling and told me to mind my own business. that’s it for today everyone, signing off, Wally, the Champion Little Beast! 

hello friends, wally here. dad said one more day like today and i’m going back to where i came from, and mom is going with me.  it all started when I was sitting on the ottoman rubbing my wee-wee. dad asked mom what the hell was i doing. mom said she thinks i found willy world. dad said that’s not funny, and it just can’t be — he said that he had no words for what he was watching, yet he couldn’t stop watching. so I kept doing it because it felt good. dad said that we can add another huge black mark on the ever growing list of wally defects, and why mom got me in a Blue Light Special. dad went on to ask mom if she could imagine wally at the Westminster Dog Show pleasuring himself in the center of the ring. dad yelled at mom and said he would not humiliate himself with this creature that had no scruples. mom then said not to worry, she’s got this all on video. dad walked out and said he couldn’t bear it anymore, that with mom’s training i’m regressing at such a rate that he couldn’t even imagine what will happen tomorrow. burn the video he said, burn it. have a great week. signing out, willy, i mean wally.