Wally’s Great Adventures (33).

Wally’s Great Adventures (33). hello friends, wally here. i was outside scouting for vermin & came across a big pile of black jelly beans that someone dropped. they didn’t taste like jelly beans or black beans or any kind of beans that i know of. i thought maybe if i ate a bunch of them they would taste better. dad was staring at his gadget at the other end of the yard, and i was gobbling them up as fast as i could. They didn’t taste anything as good as the few pieces of banana that dad snuck to me earlier in the morning. then i saw dad rushing towards me. ‘WALLY! YOU ARE NOT EATING SCAT. SHIT. CRAP. DAMN YOU WALLY. I CAN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR 30 SECONDS.’ dad was upset & stuck his giant finger down my throat, i gagged a little and coughed up a few beans. ‘WALLY, YOU CAN’T BE EATING THIS SHIT.” dad is so smart, they didn’t really taste that good, they tasted awful actually, i threw up a little in my mouth. mom got home, i’m so glad that dad didn’t tell her, i think dad was afraid that he would get yelled at. i love mom but dad is my bff. we have each others back when we get in trouble. after lunch mom took me to go poop and mom said i had diarrhea poop, dad calls it shitting like a goose. mom asked dad if he had any idea why i was shitting like a goose. dad said thats because i want to be a bird hunting dog. mom did.not.think.it.was.funny.at.all. dad then said it could have been from the few pieces of banana wally had. ‘Wally had banana all by hisself, she asked?’ well, no. mom was angry. when she gets like this, dad for reasons of insanity piles on, he told her that i ate a pile of SCAT.SHIT.CRAP. wow, mom came unhinged. i never saw mom that mad. she stormed into the garage, grabbed a giant shovel, & went to bury the SCAT.SHIT.CRAP. dad & i went upstairs to hide while the storm blew over. i sat on the bed. “WALLY! WTH IS THAT? IS THAT HOW A SHOW DOG SITS? PLEASE TELL ME THAT ISNT A CURTSY. DID MOM TEACH YOU THAT?’ dad’s been working so hard with his training and it just isnt taking. i’ll try harder tomorrow. have a great day everyone! Wally.

Wally’s Great Adventures (32).

Wally’s Great Adventures (32). hello friends, wally here. i was sitting minding my own business and heavy-footed dad stomps round the corner in the kitchen asking me what i was doing. i told him that i was waiting for something to fall off the cutting board. he said, not that dummy. he asked why i was sitting all splayed out like that. splayed out like what i said. like that he said pointing at my legs. i told him that all frenchies sit like this. he told me he didn’t care what all frenchies did, he cared what i did, and that i looked like an idiot. i barked at him and told him that wasn’t very nice. then he did told me some stoopid story about jimmy frenchie jumping off a bridge and asked me would i do that. of course I wouldn’t, i didn’t get it. [Read more…]

Wally’s Great Adventures (31).

Wally’s Great Adventures (31). hello friends, wally here. so rachel told me to be careful with dad’s coaching, because when she was a little tyker like me, dad told her she could be whatever she put her mind to be. so she put her mind to being an olympic platform diver, she did a back dive from the edge of the pool, and crashed into the concrete with her back. dad said “BAD EXAMPLE,” as any idiot should know that you need to jump out far enough to clear the edge. anyway, dad was on me about lifting my paw again. i barked at him and told him that I wanted to be a bird hunting dog. After he stopped laughing and calling me names like ‘short’ ‘chubby’ ‘squatty,’ he said i could never get my ‘low rider’ carriage moving fast enough to flush birds. i barked at him, told him that wasn’t nice, said he was wrong and i could grow up to be anything i put my mind to be. and I told him that I would not retrieve his stoopid balls. he then chased me around the back yard telling me to stop looking in the sky with my paw in the air because those were airplanes and not birds, whatever that meant, but i’m going to show him, i’m going to best bird dog ever. that’s all for today. have a great weekend everyone! Wally!

  

 

 

Wally’s Great Adventures (30).

Wally’s Great Adventures (30). hello friends, wally here. i was out in backyard sniffing around checking things out, never more than a few feet from dad, his hulking presence lurking. this “do it Wally do it Wally do it Wally do it Wally”, i mean really. who needs the pressure to go poo poo and who can do it like on demand. i mean this get-it-done-now attitude may work at work-work but here, wow. mom asked me what those red spots were on my belly, i barked and told her its from all this pressure dad is putting on me. mom always asks why i look so serious, and i barked and told her, wouldn’t you be serious with dad’s ‘7×24 coaching’, she laughed, ‘i’ve had 39 years of ‘that.’ i love mom, but she must be really tough. then get this, while we were outside, dad asked me why i kept lifting my paws, one and then the other. i barked and said why? why? I barked again, why would I lift my paws from the frosty, freezing-cold grass while he stands there in his wool socks, his giant lined snow boots and a down jacket???? then dad gets on his box, Eric and Rachel have a name for this box like soapy-box or idiot-box, something like that and he starts telling me that when he was my age, he used to walk in 3 feet of snow with sneakers, no gloves, for 3 miles to school all by himself in the arctic tundra in canada and he wouldn’t be lifting his paws and complaining like a little baby, and i needed to man-up and stop listening to mom because i’ll get soft. i don’t want to get soft, and i don’t want anymore of these red splotches so i’m going to have to listen to dad as he knows best. that’s all for today. have a great week! wally!

Wally’s Great Adventures (29).

hello friends, wally here. i was helping dad with his work yesterday. he said that it’s a stretch to call it ‘helping’ and that i was a ‘piss-poor’ banker, and i should add that to the list of things i can’t do, incl. can’t fetch shit. i barked at dad and said that wasn’t very nice, and i didn’t want to do stupid fetch or to be a stupid banker staring at a screen all day and not be able to play outside in sunshine, so it didn’t matter if i was bad at those things. dad said i needed a job to make money and buy my own place some day. I told him FALSE!, as i want to be just like eric when i grow up, live at home with mom and dad, get all the great benefits and have to do nothing, what a deal. dad didn’t seem to know how to respond to that. 

i asked dad if we could take a selfie together and share it with all my friends today, and asked him why he didn’t take selfies  — dad said no selfies! and that was that. and since dad and i were chillin’ on the couch this morning i decided i was going to be the best puppy ever. [Read more…]

Wally’s Great Adventures (28).

hello friends, wally here. tgif. so much to share. its been so nice outside, dad has taken my bff sully and me outside to play ball. now i’m still a puppy and all and haven’t seen the world, but Sully and Ball, that is something everybody has to see once. when sully sees ball, he is mental. dad calls him manic or demented or crazed or frenzied, or a lune. for sully it is all about ball. i don’t really get it. I chase sully and ball one or twice and then quit. that’s crazy. dad tries to encourage me to fetch, but that’s crap, why would i do that. so i lay in the grass, and roll around on my back. dad asked ‘what the hell i was doing?’ he then poked me with the ball-chuck-it-stick. I roll on my back again. he pokes me harder so i growl at him and tell him if he doesn’t stop, i will eat his stick. meanwhile sully is still chasing the ball and panting like a madman. I thought my bff was so smart, but i’m having some second thoughts about what’s really going on upstairs there. [Read more…]

Wally’s Great Adventures (27).

hello friends, wally here. i know, i know, its been a long time since last report. i guess i need to come clean. these Wally stories are ghost-written by dad, i know you must be shocked. its not as big of a deal as you think, as he mostly types what i say, dad does almost no editing & he LOVES to edit. anyhoo, dad totally shut down last week & said he wouldn’t help me if i continued to bully sully. BULLY, ME? he said that i steal his chewy bone & then his other bone when mom gives him a new one. i asked dad what he would do, eat a shitty old bone or go after a juicy new one? dad said that wasn’t the bloody point, that i steal all of sully’s shit, steal all of his new & old bones, steal his toys, steal his water bowl & food dish, run surprise kamikaze missions & pounce on sullys head gnawing on his jowls, AND I steal sully’s sleeping spot with mom, & this was way over the top. sully put up with all this crap except for the sleeping situation, dad thinks that’s why sully is pissing all over the bed. LIKE ITS MY FAULT HE’S PISSING ON MOM’S BED. anyhoo, i told dad i would try, but i’m not really going to try, i learned by watching dad, he doesn’t change no matter what, i mean no.matter.what. i am giving sully just a bit more space when sleeping with mom (and he’s since stopped doing bad things on the bed, see!), but i will offer nothing more. ZERO more. btw, those hairy legs in the 2nd photo are dads, sully and i were sleeping under the covers with dad, mom demanded this be disclosed, as her legs aren’t this hairy. third picture dad took at 3am, and do you see sully’s giant head on top of me, its any wonder i can breathe, so you see i give him things. anyway despite all this, i just love sully and he loves me because he doesn’t chomp on my little head when i harass him. i asked dad if we could adopt sully so he could be here always, and you should have seen dad light up, he’s up to something. so stay tuned for more on that. have a good day everyone. Wally.

Wally’s Great Adventures (26).

hello friends, wally here. big drama at the kanigan house. first, a disclaimer, dad got scolded by mom and Eric about my posts being overweight on bowel & bladder movements, & that led to sharp criticism that dad is a poor puppy trainer. well, now, you should have seen the volcano eruption after that, this really set dad off, like i mean way OFF. dad, he who takes criticism so well, launched a volley of (as he likes to call them) factual retorts. “oh, here comes the feedback from mother & son, those with no blogs of their own, no guest posts, zero, like almost near zero contribution to wally’s posts, or wally’s training for posts, or any contribution to wally’s intellectual growth, all of this load entirely being carried by dad, more stress and anxiety added to an overwhelming load that dad has to carry. mom and eric turned silent after this cavalcade of munitions, which dad took as facts winning out again. back to the story. and yes, it’s about bladder movements. brother sully, 4 years old now, fully potty trained, emptied his bladder, not 1x but 2x on mom & dad’s bed (its moms bed when there is a mess to clean up). so the bladder “dump” seeped through the winter weight comforter, through the bed sheet & landed safely on & was soaked up by the bed pad. i have not seen mom that angry & dad told me she had it in her to come unhinged. ‘I’ve had it, 2 straight days of doing nothing but washing bedding, KING SIZED BEDDING. anyhoo, these days, my occasional little piles (or pies as dad calls them) under the kitchen table are looking pretty good right now. Dad reminded sully that he’s here for another 2 weeks, so if there is anymore bullshit, he’s going into solitary confinement (that sounds bad). Next update, christmas presents, which have been overshadowed by mom & dad’s bed being a potty. have a great night everyone. Wally.

Wally’s Great Adventures (13)

hello everyone, wally here. soooooo, short update on the big news today. mom bought all these fancy dog toys when i joined the family last month, a whole basket full of toys. mom is so nice. i love mom. dad said he will need to get a 2nd job to fund all these wally expenses. mom said but isn’t he worth it?!…dad said mom could get a paycheck producing job like she promised 30 years ago after the kids went to school. mom just laughed at him and said but who would care for wally and what good is dad for if she went to work. i barked at mom saying good one mom. any who, back to the big news. i cant tell mom but dad is better than mom at play time, so much better. today he gave me an empty plastic Snapple bottle and i chased and banged and chewed it all day long. it is like the best toy ever. and the great thing is that dad drinks 5 of these a day so there is like an endless supply of them, and dad said these are mostly free compared to the expensive toys mom buys. dad is so smart. dad said when mom isnt around maybe he will open up the pantry and just let me at it. wow. i can’t wait. eric looked at me in that 2nd pic and said that i’m the next neil armstrong astronaut and that i may go to the moon. that’s just so amazing. so i when i went out to go pee pee tonight, i saw this beautiful moon and i asked mom and dad to take a picture of me in front of the moon. that’s my paw walking on the moon…so cool, right? dad said that if i keep peeing in the house, i’m definitely going straight to the moon. no problem dad, wally on the moon, i’m ready. so more to come on the moon thing, stay tuned. good night everyone. wally signing out.

Wally’s Great Adventures (9).

good saturday morning everyone, wally here. ray, one of dad’s blogging buddies was flipping thru facebook, saw dad’s pics from this morning’s walk at cove Island park, and he said to hisself ” ah, ok, duh, here’s something that I haven’t seen for 928 consecutive days.” then good friend ray shouted in caps WHERE THE HELL IS WALLY? WHATS UP WITH WALLY???? dad seemed more than a bit irritated that i already have a fan from south carolina, and i’ve like gone global, while dad was out freezing his a$$ off, going round and round on the same cove island track and I was sleeping with mom in the cozy bed. so ray wants to know what’s up…thinking…thinking…thinking. i peed on dad’s rug yesterday because he was working working working and I was bored. it got his attention. he said he had to be on a zoom call and i cant shat wherever i want like an aminal. zoom? huh? i then did the zoomies round and round in his office. dad laughed, he never laughs. when dad was doing his zoomies i went exploring in all the rooms on the second floor. i chewed on rachel’s suitcase. and then eric’s backpack. and then i found dad’s cables, so many white cables, so many devices. i heard dad stomping down the hallway so i skooched under the bed to hide. “WALLY!” i know my name now and when dad shouts like that, i know i’m in big trouble. “not the cords wally…not my bloody cables…my gadgets are worth more than you are.” i barked at dad, that wasn’t very nice. he has to be joking. he was! because then dad took me on a boat ride on his tee shirt up and down the hallway. and then i got to play horsey on dad’s back. i have so much fun when dad works from home. dad is the best play toy ever. that’s all friends. nap time. have a great weekend!


And if anyone cares to check out dad’s pictures from this morning’s walk at cove island park, click here.

Wally’s Great Adventures (8).

hello everyone. wally here. it’s 1:30 am and dad just took me out to go pee pee. it threw me off as dad never gets up, it’s mommy that does all the work. i really didn’t know what to make of it. i barked a little, hoping mom would stir. she didn’t. i think she was in shock too. dad held me close to his chest as he carried me downstairs. he didn’t say anything but i could feel his heart go pitter patter. he has one, a heart that is, i heard it, that made me happy. its dark out and dad told me to ‘hurry up, go pee pee and not screw around, it’s cold out here.’ i sniffed the grass, there was either rabbit or raccoon rummaging around here. i walked further out in the yard sniffing to see if i could track them down, and dad followed, in his bare feet, white t-shirt, and sleep shorts. ‘wally, pee-pee, now!” dad was right, that wind from the north was cold, i squatted like a girl, went pee-pee and ran back to the door. dad said ‘sort of good job wally but i’m going to have to teach you how to pee pee like a man.” next time dad goes to pee i’m going to watch and learn. mom said that a cold front is coming in, and they are calling for 5 feet of snow in buffalo. i don’t really know what snow is and what it has to do with buffalo’s, but mom told me i better come to love my prickly sweater. mom took the pictures here. i found that when i run inside from the cold, i can sit on the heater vent and warm my tooshy. it feels so warm and so good. so that’s all everyone. i have to get back to bed now. have a great friday! tgif!

Wally’s Great Adventures (7)

hello everyone. wally here. dad took that shot above. not all that flattering, certainly not my best side. and if you thought i looked irritated, you pegged it right. dad shouted at me and told me to “get the hell out from under the chair!” because he knew what i was doing. what is it with this human need to follow me around when i have to poop. mom told dad earlier today that she caught me crawling under the outdoor furniture pooping.  she didn’t know what i was doing on monday and tuesday, but now she understood. she told dad that I started pooping on the grass on the wet leaves and then ran under the furniture to finish. and that she found a number of wally deposits lined up in a cute little row. well, she got most of the story right (like i did line them up in a cute little row), but leave it to mom to miss the entire point. what about the right to a little wally privacy. i don’t go into the bathroom with mom with she’s in there pushing out her spinach. and there goes dad, who’s poop doesn’t smell (he told me that). dad started in on mom again about the need for discipline to start early: “did you notice that he doesn’t shat wherever he wants when he’s with me. there needs to be a bit of fear in this training regime. like he did with the kids.” mom walked away mumbling something about 39 years of this, THIS! she shouted. so after all this settled down, i decided to play in my toy basket. dad looks over, and says look at your animal. apparently i should have taken one toy out at a time to play, but why bother when you can jump right in and play with all of them at the same time. i looked at mom, she gave me a little wink which made me feel better. dad grunted and told mom to watch my back end, there could be another ‘cute little row on the tile.’ so, that’s it for tonight.  hope to see you again on the weekend. good night!

Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do

Arrival this afternoon.  Name still pending.

  1. Benny?
  2. Walter / Wally (cousin of Sully)
  3. Bruce (for The Boss)?

Not exactly sure why, but I can’t get Do Wah Diddy Diddy out of my head:

There she he was just a-walkin’ down the street, singin’‘Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do’Snappin’ her his fingers and shufflin’ her feet, singin’‘Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do’She He looked good (Looked good)She He looked fine (Looked fine)She He looked good, she he looked fineAnd I nearly lost my mind

Before I knew it she he was walkin’ next to me, singin’‘Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do’Holdin’ my hand just as natural as can be, singin’‘Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do’We walked on (Walked on)To my door (My door)We walked on to my doorThen we kissed a little more
Whoa-oh, I knew we was falling in loveYes, I didAnd so I told her all the thingsI’d been dreamin’ of
Now we’re together nearly every single day, singin’‘Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do’A-we’re so happy, and that’s how we’re gonna stay, singin’‘Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do’
Well, I’m hers his (I’m hers his)She’s He’s mine (She’s He’s mine)

Walking. With Truckers, Parakeets & Puppies.

375 consecutive days. Like in a Row. Cove Island Morning Walk.  The commitment to stop this obsession on the 366th day, came and went. Rachel Cusk: ‘…this balking of my will.’ This pull of something Larger.

10:00 a.m. yesterday. Cablevision contractor (full mask the entire time because it’s the right thing to do) takes his wire cutters, and with a quick turn of his wrist, strips the white pvc wrapper from the copper wire. I couldn’t do that without slashing my index finger. Wish I could do Something with these hands. Need to watch Dick Proenneke’s Youtube documentary on building a log cabin in the Alaskan Wilderness. That’s right. Get off-grid and build something. 

4:35 a.m.  Newspaper ‘Man’ (not Boy, not on a 2-wheeler but an early model Nissan) flicks his wrist and the NY Times  sails in slow motion, its blue wrapper flapping in the air, and hits the driveway with a thud. I’d like to do this, just one morning…Fling papers on driveways, watch them skid on dewy front yards, or slow the car to wind it way back and slam it against the garage door…

4:45 a.m. I turn onto the I-95 entrance ramp. Truckers. So many Trucks.  So many red tail lights.  Not one time in the last 60-75 days, as I enter the merging lane, have these monster trucks not moved into the center lane to let me enter. Not.One.Time. Driving all night and still have the decency and courtesy of swinging their big rigs into the center lane to let me in. Not one Time. That’s Professional. 

I’m across from this giant tandem semi, which wobbles over into my lane and then straightens out. Must have reached over to give his puppy a snack.  Wheels. Life on the Road. “It can get lonely on the road60% of truckers are pet owners, 40% of them taking their pets on the road with them…Sarah Giles, 27, drives for All Freight Carriers and carries a pair of dogs — and…a green-cheeked conure parakeet. ‘They’re about a foot long, as smart as a 4-year-old and very affectionate,’ she said. ‘Bonnie wants to be on me all the time, insists on everything her way, and doesn’t like strangers near the truck.’”

Sarah has a pair (!) of dogs and parakeet!  I look ahead. Of the 10 truckers in front of me, 4 have buddies riding along.  My passenger seat is dark, empty, and Sad. No friends. That’s Sad.

5:39 a.m. I make my way up to the point at Cove Island Park.

Walking by myself.

No puppy.

But damn, what a view…


Photo: DK @ Daybreak. 5:24 to 5:39 am, May 15, 2021. 46° F. Cove Island Park, Stamford, CT.

 

Monday Morning Wake-Up Call (If not now, when?)

About a week into quarantine, my husband and I were sitting on the couch when he turned his computer screen to show me an article he was reading. There was a picture of a cute dog, and a headline that suggested walking a dog was the best way to stay sane in these decidedly insane times. I rolled my eyes and took to Instagram to ridicule him for trying to use a global-health crisis to further his long-standing campaign to bring a pet into our lives. Three days later, we brought home a four-month-old puppy. His name is Barry.

While that might seem impulsive, my husband has been angling for a dog for roughly eight years—almost the entire time we’ve been together. He regularly sends me pictures of happy-looking dogs, volunteers to walk his family dogs even in the middle of Chicago winters, and has jumped at every opportunity to dogsit, an attempt to not only hang out with a four-legged companion, but also slowly convince me of how wonderful it would be to welcome a furry pal into our home. I, in turn, have given him lots of reasons for why a dog hasn’t made sense for us: We work a lot, we travel a lot (for business and pleasure), we like going out with our friends for dinner and drinks. In short, I valued the freedom and flexibility we enjoyed as a childless couple in a big city, and I worried that a dog would rob us of that lifestyle before I was ready.

The fact that dogs will be dogs has continually helped my case. Every instance of a puppy visitor peeing on our brand-new bedroom rug, eating the bread I just baked after snatching it off the counter, or ripping apart a piece of Tupperware in an attempt to get at the leftovers inside felt like a point in my favor. A dog was just too much trouble. Then the coronavirus handily dismantled our lives…

My experience so far suggests that there’s probably something to that idea. While housebreaking was hard, and it certainly isn’t ideal when Barry decides to bark for more attention while I attempt to have a series of Zoom meetings, our puppy is making us unreasonably happy. During a lengthy period of sadness and uncertainty, it has been cathartic to laugh at the random things Barry has decided to be afraid of—black plastic bags, parked bicycles, large trucks, the back alley, and stacks of cardboard boxes, to name just a few. And our walks provide a sense of purpose and structure. Having a new puppy has also helped us forge stronger connections with our friends and family—giving us all something to DM, call, FaceTime, and text about other than illness and angst.Barry has given us the invaluable gifts of levity and joy during this extraordinarily miserable crisis. I’m not really sure how we’ll repay him, but we’ve got lots of time, right here at home, to figure it out.

~ Gillian B. White, from “I Got a Pandemic Puppy, and You Can Too” (The Atlantic · April 11, 2020)

 


Photo Source: (via Newthom)

“It was just a good day.”


Notes:

TGIF: Who picked who?


Don’t miss Nick and Emerson’s Instagram site.

Saturday Morning (Low of 19° F)


Photo: (via Your Eyes Blaze Out)

T.G.I.F.: It’s been a long week!


Photo: via poppins-me

Easter House Guest.

I just don’t know 🙂 … (Backstory here)

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