It’s dark, I grope, I grip the wooden arm of the bannister at the top of the stairs. I’m about to take the first step down and here it comes. Not just one morning, every morning.
Must be Mandelstam’s Blossom. It hovers. It hammers. It is now. It is not. It ruptures and raptures. I try to turn, to turn away to Light. Yet and yet and yet, it pulls me back. A beckoning for what? To what?
55° F. Saturday morning. I’m on the front porch. Rain is spitting Autumn, the season has turned.
Mile 2:
I look down. Gray shirt. Gray shorts. Gray water bottle. Gray and Blue shoes. I look up, Gray skies. Synchronicity – cosmic alignment.
Mile 3:
As if it were mind reading, Apple’s playlist cues up Bedingfield’s Unwritten: ”
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Mile 5:
Somewhere ahead an insomniac is doing laundry. He pours Downy April Fresh Fabric Conditioner into his Maytag Washing Machine, and it streams out the vent, into the atmosphere. I inhale April.
I exhale and inhale again – the Downy is blown out, and in rushes Zeke. The scent of the scruffy fur on his neck smothering, the body memories tremble.
The rain comes down in sheets, washing the earth, and the sweat and the tears from those whose footfalls slap on the roadway.
It hovers. It hammers. It is now. It is not. It ruptures and raptures.
Steps: 12,511. 7.5 miles.
Nap Time.
Posted Inspired by Osip Mandelstam:
What is this dire delight flowering fleeing always earth?
What is being? What is truth?Blossoms rupture and rapture the air,
All hover and hammer,
Time intensified and time intolerable, sweetness raveling rot.
It is now. It is not.~ Osip Mandelstam, “And I was Alive” from “Stolen Air“
Notes:
- Photo: via Nini Poppins.
- Related Posts: Running Series
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
In the movement ….
No one else can feel this like you…but we can virtually nod and understand.
Love the detail!
Thank you Anneli.
I can feel your words.
Thank you Perpetua.
I love this. Your descriptions are visceral. I know you often quote others on this blog. But I really like your own work. Have a good Sunday, David. 🤗
Awwww Bela. Thank you. Coming from you, this means a lot. Aloha Bela.
beautiful. A deserved nap David. <3
Diana xo
Some people feel the rain. Some people just get wet.
Smiling. Lovely Diana. Thank you.
The “velcro dog” still with you. Always with you…in spirit and heart.
Smiling. So true Peg.
For me it’s the smell of a salty pretzel or a corn chip….my first Dobe’s feet always smelled like a baking pretzel. To this day, the minute I catch that scent, I am whipped back in time to a beautiful, 90 lb. red Dobe laying by my side for days on end after my surgery, never moving except to see me safely to the bathroom and back to bed again. He was my heart….
Wow, feet smelling of salty pretzel – that would yank me back immediately. Thanks for sharing Lori, powerful.
Beautiful writing. Knowing what is beckoning, calling us, is our gift, to live our life with arms wide open..and maybe today Mr K is where your book begins? 🙏🏻
Smiling. I am Karen, still smiling. Thank you. Appreciate it.
i love the synchronicity of the gray, ties in nicely with what was going on in your gray matter and the gray area between what you do and what you want to do.
Yes, and I wonder how such coincidences all come together, I’m in awe of it all sometimes Beth.
You so beautifully share the depth of your life in the moment…”Today is where your book begins” for some time, it been forming in your experiences.of living, capturing the feelings and thoughts, stringing them like pearls…exposing, gifting… keep being curious, keep gathering, keep sharing and keep being wonderful, you….
Awww, thank you Christie. Thank you.
You are welcome…your grasp of pulse, resonates…
I knew what was coming after reading the very first line…big lump in my throat with these stories, so filled with heartache. I know that feeling. 🙁
Awwww, thank you Carol.
Powerful. Heartfelt. Beautiful. Poignant.
Thank you Mary. Appreciate the feedback very much. DK
Everyone else has said it, but *MAN*! You grab us by the reptile brain and shove our faces in your moment. Every sense is OPEN.
Awwww, thank you Sandy. Appreciate it very much. You made my day!
I was there. And that was a gift. Right there.
So glad! Thank you Helen.
I will never look at rain the same way again, ever!
Why point to the pain in your heart when you can rip your chest open and hold your heart in the palms of your hands. Wow…
Beautifully written.
Awwww, thank you Sawsan. Appreciate the kind words.