May 28th. Days short of June, yet solar heaters are blowing. 84° F, and steamy.
Sidewalks are teeming with tourists.
Mid afternoon Manhattan traffic is locked bumper to bumper, snaking up Sixth Avenue.
I skipped breakfast, had a meager lunch, and I’m longing for a sugar fix. Chocolate. Now.
Waze estimates 25 min to get uptown to the office.
My Thumbs are on the keyboard.
Should it be ‘Hi’ or ‘Hi!’? I’m not feeling ‘Hi!’ I’m not a ‘Hi!’ type. I’m more like a “Hello” or a “Hi” guy. Or maybe it’s ‘hi’. “hi’ makes me approachable, less prickly. Yet, it’s hard to alter the brand, callus layered on callus. ‘Hi!’ would be inauthentic or soft, and both just won’t do. Dad’s the tough guy. There’s an image to uphold. A Brand to burnish.
DK: hi
RK: Hi!
Would have preferred ‘Hi Daddy!’ But ! is good. She’s happy to hear from me.
DK: I’ll be in your building in 30 min. I’ll buy you coffee. Me, a warm chocolate chip cookie.
RK: Can’t Dad. I’m in the middle of something.
‘Dad‘. An automatic softener on contact. Bloody Chapin song streams into consciousness. Hate the song. ‘Child arrived just the other day. He She came to the world in the usual way…’
DK: You can carve out 10 min.
RK: Sorry. I’m leading the troops on a big project.
What troops? No one reports to her. ‘But there were planes to catch and there were bills to pay. He She learned to walk while I was away…He’d She’d say, “I’m gonna be like you, dad. You know, I’m gonna be like you”
DK: OK, what train are you taking home. Let’s ride together.
RK: I won’t be leaving until after 8pm. Best you leave without me.
Chapin pouring it on now. ‘When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when. We’ll get together then, son,honey, you know we’ll have a good time then’
DK: 5 minutes Honey. Come on.
I wait, and wait, and wait for a response to my text. Nothing.
I set the phone down.
And then pick it up again. Nothing.
Set it down. Wait. And pick it up again.
Nothing.
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He She said, “I’d love to, dad, if I could find the time”
“You see, my new job’s a hassle and the kid’s got the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He’d She’d grown up just like me
My boy girl was just like me
Notes:
- Credits: 1) Photograph Credit. 2) Harry Chapin – Cat’s In The Cradle Lyrics | MetroLyrics. Cat’s in the Cradle youtube video
- Related Post: Driving Series
Live & Learn 
Good old Harry. He had it pegged.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He did…
LikeLike
Ouch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s hard to alter the brand. Even for the next generation. Enjoyed reading, as always.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes. So true. Smiling. Thank you Helen.
LikeLike
Oh ughh. Those mirrors can be ugly at times. Love your writing, a good reminder to us all. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂 Yes Karen. Thank you.
LikeLike
a few tears welled up–yes they did……
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you LouAnn
LikeLike
Yea, but you are still her daddy and at least she’s not unemployed and living off your payroll…always look for te positive. (Vintage DK, BTW)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling. Thank you Ray
LikeLike
That song always makes me cry and so did your post. The hard part (among many) is not taking it personally. And if she grown up just like you, she’s gonna be just fine.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awwww…thank you Carolann
LikeLike
Rats! It’s amazing how the word “daddy” can instantly soften any rough edges in a father/daughter relationship. It works just as well with the word “mommy” and in that sense the bond is ageless. I love it when my thirty something calls me “mommy”. I called my dad “daddy” up to the day he died. “Dad” always seemed too formal.
Simple Village above makes a good point…and vintage is always cool in my book. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes. All so true Mrs. P
LikeLiked by 1 person
Teary… Beautifully written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you….
LikeLike
Oh how I recognize this. Wishing for the millionth time that I could roll back the clock…and yes ok I was a single mother etc,. But… but….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes yes yes….
LikeLike
OK, just took another swig of coffee to dissolve the lump that formed in my throat upon reading this. Many sage comments above, so I’ll just limit myself to ‘nailed it.’ (And I’m waiting–ever more impatiently–for DK’s book of reflections to be published. Put me down for an advance copy…. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Smiling. Thank you Lori.
LikeLike
As always, thanks for sharing a personal moment. Yea, that damn song haunts us. From Daddy to Dad to no response. Then somehow it circles back and all is well and right.
– Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling. Thanks Michael.
LikeLike
Loved the personal share. Sorry Miss Rachel couldn’t join you. A chocolate chip cookie? My indulge yesterday was Swedish fish, red – the bag is now in the freezer.! It was 90 in my location..too hot for me. Bb Kiing is playing in the background ..”how lonely I’ll be” as the wild and scenic river lowing calls to me from below, I see it from the cabin 🙂 Gonna grab a pack, the sweet dog and the cameras and head out in a few minutes down the trial to the rivers edge where the clear, cool, clean water sparkles. As I ready myself, Bill Wither’s “Ain’t No Sunshine” (plenty of sunshine here ) plays soulfully, from the laptop with JBL speakers, as the memory of the morning doves cooing greeted my day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All sounds wonderful
LikeLike
Ha, I always forget to ask the ranch owner if I am staying in “the cabin” & sleeping in the bed Johnny Depp slept in. Life does leave a smile on my face….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha!
LikeLike
It’s been too long since I’ve been here and read one these genuine “David” posts…you tug at a place in my heart (and I’m not even a parent)…still admire your style of sharing your personal story with a sublayer of some sort. Thank you for sharing yourself with us, David. (By the way, I’m the “HI!” type – hope I don’t lose points for that. Haven’t always been, but life seems too short to miss out on energy and excitement! ;] )
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Vicki. I had no doubt you were a Hi! Type and perhaps a Hi!! on many days…
LikeLike
The hike was pretty, peaceful & needed. The pup and me played host to many ticks, ugh. The sun was strong wore a sun hat part of the time and even with 50 block on my face neck and chest – I still got red -but not as red as the ruby colored S. Fish. The solo journey for me was was welcomed I do like the Harry Chapin song and it is somewhat universal of life and its responsibilities cutting into family time. .
LikeLiked by 1 person
The shade provided by the ancient Oaks & Maples outstretched leaf covered arms was welcomed. Observed several varieties of solitary butterflies.-I like the Harry Chapin song. Ekk, just felt another tick crawling, confirmed, grabbed a tissue to trap it and then flushed it away..
LikeLiked by 1 person
ow. harry really knew of what he wrote.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Should it be ‘Hi’ or ‘Hi!’? I’m not feeling ‘Hi!’ I’m not a ‘Hi!’ type. I’m more like a “Hello” or a “Hi” guy. Or maybe it’s ‘hi’. “hi’ makes me approachable, less prickly. Yet, it’s hard to alter the brand, callus layered on callus. ‘Hi!’ would be inauthentic or soft, and both just won’t do. Dad’s the tough guy. There’s an image to uphold. A Brand to burnish.” – Lol, you worry too much. As for our children and their growing up…bittersweet, I know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling. Thanks Carol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reminds me of another great Harry Chapin song – Tangled Up Puppet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9xx7MFvPck Glad to hear Rachel’s leading the troops…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww, love the song. Thanks for sharing Jim
LikeLike