Tag: wally

Wally’s Great Adventures (32). hello friends, wally here. i was sitting minding my own business and heavy-footed dad stomps round the corner in the kitchen asking me what i was doing. i told him that i was waiting for something to fall off the cutting board. he said, not that dummy. he asked why i was sitting all splayed out like that. splayed out like what i said. like that he said pointing at my legs. i told him that all frenchies sit like this. he told me he didn’t care what all frenchies did, he cared what i did, and that i looked like an idiot. i barked at him and told him that wasn’t very nice. then he did told me some stoopid story about jimmy frenchie jumping off a bridge and asked me would i do that. of course I wouldn’t, i didn’t get it. Continue reading “Wally’s Great Adventures (32).” →

Wally’s Great Adventures (31). hello friends, wally here. so rachel told me to be careful with dad’s coaching, because when she was a little tyker like me, dad told her she could be whatever she put her mind to be. so she put her mind to being an olympic platform diver, she did a back dive from the edge of the pool, and crashed into the concrete with her back. dad said “BAD EXAMPLE,” as any idiot should know that you need to jump out far enough to clear the edge. anyway, dad was on me about lifting my paw again. i barked at him and told him that I wanted to be a bird hunting dog. After he stopped laughing and calling me names like ‘short’ ‘chubby’ ‘squatty,’ he said i could never get my ‘low rider’ carriage moving fast enough to flush birds. i barked at him, told him that wasn’t nice, said he was wrong and i could grow up to be anything i put my mind to be. and I told him that I would not retrieve his stoopid balls. he then chased me around the back yard telling me to stop looking in the sky with my paw in the air because those were airplanes and not birds, whatever that meant, but i’m going to show him, i’m going to best bird dog ever. that’s all for today. have a great weekend everyone! Wally!

  

 

 

Wally’s Great Adventures (30). hello friends, wally here. i was out in backyard sniffing around checking things out, never more than a few feet from dad, his hulking presence lurking. this “do it Wally do it Wally do it Wally do it Wally”, i mean really. who needs the pressure to go poo poo and who can do it like on demand. i mean this get-it-done-now attitude may work at work-work but here, wow. mom asked me what those red spots were on my belly, i barked and told her its from all this pressure dad is putting on me. mom always asks why i look so serious, and i barked and told her, wouldn’t you be serious with dad’s ‘7×24 coaching’, she laughed, ‘i’ve had 39 years of ‘that.’ i love mom, but she must be really tough. then get this, while we were outside, dad asked me why i kept lifting my paws, one and then the other. i barked and said why? why? I barked again, why would I lift my paws from the frosty, freezing-cold grass while he stands there in his wool socks, his giant lined snow boots and a down jacket???? then dad gets on his box, Eric and Rachel have a name for this box like soapy-box or idiot-box, something like that and he starts telling me that when he was my age, he used to walk in 3 feet of snow with sneakers, no gloves, for 3 miles to school all by himself in the arctic tundra in canada and he wouldn’t be lifting his paws and complaining like a little baby, and i needed to man-up and stop listening to mom because i’ll get soft. i don’t want to get soft, and i don’t want anymore of these red splotches so i’m going to have to listen to dad as he knows best. that’s all for today. have a great week! wally!

hello friends, wally here. i was helping dad with his work yesterday. he said that it’s a stretch to call it ‘helping’ and that i was a ‘piss-poor’ banker, and i should add that to the list of things i can’t do, incl. can’t fetch shit. i barked at dad and said that wasn’t very nice, and i didn’t want to do stupid fetch or to be a stupid banker staring at a screen all day and not be able to play outside in sunshine, so it didn’t matter if i was bad at those things. dad said i needed a job to make money and buy my own place some day. I told him FALSE!, as i want to be just like eric when i grow up, live at home with mom and dad, get all the great benefits and have to do nothing, what a deal. dad didn’t seem to know how to respond to that. 

i asked dad if we could take a selfie together and share it with all my friends today, and asked him why he didn’t take selfies  — dad said no selfies! and that was that. and since dad and i were chillin’ on the couch this morning i decided i was going to be the best puppy ever. Continue reading “Wally’s Great Adventures (29).” →

hello friends, wally here. tgif. so much to share. its been so nice outside, dad has taken my bff sully and me outside to play ball. now i’m still a puppy and all and haven’t seen the world, but Sully and Ball, that is something everybody has to see once. when sully sees ball, he is mental. dad calls him manic or demented or crazed or frenzied, or a lune. for sully it is all about ball. i don’t really get it. I chase sully and ball one or twice and then quit. that’s crazy. dad tries to encourage me to fetch, but that’s crap, why would i do that. so i lay in the grass, and roll around on my back. dad asked ‘what the hell i was doing?’ he then poked me with the ball-chuck-it-stick. I roll on my back again. he pokes me harder so i growl at him and tell him if he doesn’t stop, i will eat his stick. meanwhile sully is still chasing the ball and panting like a madman. I thought my bff was so smart, but i’m having some second thoughts about what’s really going on upstairs there. Continue reading “Wally’s Great Adventures (28).” →