I can feel him

Posted on by Live & Learn

infant,photography,black and white

Mother and Son are texting last night.
Dad is in the Group Message.
Mom jabbering.
Son with monosyllabic responses.
The intermittent bing bing bing signaling the back and forth.
Dad is silent. Observing the exchange from a distance.
Pictures come across from El Salvador. Magic.
There he is. Smiling.

What was he? 7 months old? 9 months?
I’m holding him up by his arm pits.
His little hands gripping mine. Trusting.
Warm water splashing over us.
He bows his head towards my chest to duck the spray.
He whimpers.
I pull him closer.
He rests his head on my shoulder.
He squeezes his hands into little fists and rubs his eyes.
And looks up.
And smiles.
Those eyes. That smile.
I squeeze him tighter.
And feel his skin on my chest. On my fingertips.
And smell the Johnson’s Baby Shampoo in his hair.
Hold that moment.
Freeze it.

“Somewhere in the future I am remembering today.”
   ~ David Berman, From the Charm of 5:30

Photograph: Elena Shumilova via Mme Scherzo

30 thoughts on “I can feel him”

  2. “Memory: a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.” — Pierce Harris. Lovely, pal….

  3. When you write about your children, and your exterior softens and reveals the infinite tenderness of your love for them, I smile, I cry, yes, I identify…The picture is perfect. And holding little, bathed bodies, J&J shampoo and the yumminess of those memories. These are the moments to hold tight and never ever let go.

  5. It’s 4:29 am. Just like every Tues. & Thurs., I’ll soon be driving over to my son and DIL’s house to babysit their toddlers, one 3 1/2, one 2. My husband and I, in our retirement, have a job. We’ve done this in one form or another for 3 years, first with one baby, then with both. We went from five days a week, to four, to two. We’re tired. We’re achy. By the time we get back home, twelve hours from right now, we’ll be feeling every muscle and bone in our bodies. Thanks for this reminder that these are precious days.

    2. For you Lynne:

      Now each extra day is a gift. An extra day in which I may gain some new understanding, see a beauty, feel love, or know the richness of watching my youngest grandson express his every life and dislike with force and sweetness. But all this is the sentience by which I survive, and who knows, it may matter deeply how we end so mysterious a thing as living.

      ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell, The Measure of My Days

  12. Wonderful David!! Memory is a strange thing, can bring moments back quite vividly sometimes – other times it fails! But these memories, the little moments of a specific day are the most precious of all! 🙂

  13. i really love this quote and you know about babies and my weakness. this post brings me to tears with the thought of the beauty and trust between parent and child.

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