ME: 6am. I cranked up my morning reading and scanned to find Kristin’s new post Play the Tape Through. Play the Tape Through. Play the tape through. Repeating the mantra in my head like a stylus stuck in a groove of a RCA gramophone. Shrieking again and again.
KRISTIN: “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences… –Dr. Phil.” It sounds so simple, but most people, myself included, have acted without stopping to play the tape through at one time or another- if not over and over again. Picture having a video tape of all your thoughts and actions and the consequences of those thoughts and actions. It is my guess that a whole lot of people would think twice if they could view the tape before ever acting in the first place.
ME: Roll the tape back. Way back. The play ends. Referees are on high alert…scanning the ice looking for trouble. Who’s the player who retaliates after the whistle blows? Who’s the one taking the extra shot? Who loses control? Satisfaction for 3 seconds. Then off to the penalty box. Some things never change.
KRISTIN: “Think about it. Before you eat that third brownie or blow off that work out, you see the number on the scale go higher- you feel it impact your health. Before you yell cruel words at your partner, you see the relationship deteriorate right before your eyes. Before you shame your child in some way, you see the long-lasting effects on his or her self-esteem and feel the guilt associated with your actions.
ME: It started with such good intentions. Offering to help with her summer internship project. And in minutes – the “situational coaching opportunity” managed to run wildly amok. The Volcano sputters, spews and then erupts. Shock and awe – of the Word-kind. Can’t retract. No sir. They are gone. Damage done.
KRISTIN: “Before acting, you may want to fast forward and look at the long-term consequences. Remember that somethings that bring us short-term relief cause us long-term pain. Play the tape through…Go Practice.“
ME: Yes, Go Practice. And Play the Tape Through before you fire up the engines. You are wearing big boy pants now…
Credit: Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed., MSW, LCSW @ Let Life In Practices: Play the Tape Through
Image Source: whatibeliveandsee
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“Situational coaching opportunity” – OMG – you sound just like my husband! He can’t ever let one of those slip by – not always very welcome – still don’t know the long-term effect 🙂
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Hmmmmmmmm. 🙂
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This is powerful advice, David….
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Yes, Lori, for me. All for me. 🙂
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David, Great job! Practice makes progress. You got me laughing this morning. You are no joker- funny yes, joker no. Thank you for including my post within your’s. Hope it helps. A little self-help mixed with some humor.I love it.
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Thank you Kristin. Smiling. Your post was so good Kristin. Who would have guessed that this blogging-thing offers free, high quality therapy! 🙂 Have a good day.
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Another word of wisdom for you, my friend, and for your readers- reflect on past mistakes just long enough to recognize the lesson. Then let your self off the hook and practice new ways. Always remember the good that you do:) Enough for now. I must get ready for work.
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Lesson heard and taken. 🙂
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And forgot to mention this quote that immediately came to mind:
“You remember too much,
my mother said to me recently.
Why hold onto all that? And I said,
Where can I put it down?”
— Anne Carson, from “The Glass Essay”
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If everyone read this, and acted on it appropriately, so many things would change for the better.
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You have that right…
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Think of it this way. You could play the tape through to the happy ending, too, then figure out how you got there. You can do this. Yes, you can.
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Yes, I can!
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