Muro 128

rodney-smith-book-ready-upside-down

I’m freakish about putting anything near my eyes (and anything touching my Adam’s Apple like a turtle neck – I tug and tug and tug at it to Free Willy. Get it off! Get it off!  Or the mouth guards dentists use to take impressions of my teeth and the chalky putty sliding down my throat, the eyes tearing, the gagging reflex, the choking, God, help me…Jesus that escalated quickly.)

It has become a necessary ritual to solve the eye-thing: Recurrent Corneal Erosion triggered by the back story here: I need to read.

The right hand grabs the 2.5 inch tube of Muro 128 5% Sodium Chloride Ophthalmic Ointment. I’ve made the switch from the cheaper generic. Raisin Bran maybe, but generics with eye lube? Saving a few bucks on chemicals you’re pouring into your eye balls, really? Are you nuts?

I think about why it’s Muro 128 and not 130 or 100 as I squeeze the salve in the lower lid. The hands tremble like an addict. I need this. I really need this. What I need is, to pay attention to the trembling hands inadvertently driving the aluminum tip of the tube through the eyeball into my brain.

One dab in each eye before bed time.

I pause, the chemicals coat the eye balls, the world goes blurry, I feel my way to bed.

I lay in bed, eyes closed, thinking about the trust I put in the chemical manufacturer, and the worker who is employed to mix the formula just right, with just the right amount of compound a, added to compound b, with a dab of compound c. Please be having a good day. Please.

Five hours later, I stir. The body knows that it’s too early. I glance at the clock. The world remains Muro 128 blurry.

I give it a minute.

I think of the BM time (the time Before-Muro) and the searing pain of the skin of the dry eye lid ripping the cornea, the water exploding from the eye socket.  And AM Time (the time After-Muro). And wonder, what’s it gonna be today?

I rub both eyes.

They clear.

I’m pain-free.

I see the florescent digits on the clock.  It’s 3:47 a.m.

I flip open my laptop and rifle through the morning news and a chapter of my latest reading.

And here it comes.

It accumulates in my left eye, and it’s ever so gentle in its formation.

I let it slide down my left check, untouched by the hand – I let the snail track dry in place.

The entire event lasts maybe 10 seconds from start to finish.  A sacred moment marking a life, a sacred pause in a lifetime of hurry.

A single tear.

I can SEE.


Notes:

Comments

  1. Amen…a sacred moment – let it take its own time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wishing you well on this one, DK. I am grateful that I never needed contact lenses…I cannot, for the love of God, touch my eye.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally get it–no messing around with the eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So happy for this development, DK! Messing around with one’s eyes is no joke.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh darn, David; I thought more of your fabulous writing than I did of your fabulous bravery. Yes, bravery! The eyes are so sensitive, so needed; particularly when you’ve had sight all your life. Excuse me my lack of initial empathy; however, I end with enormous admiration.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. My eyes get dry too but I just use the watery eyedrops. I tried the salve type and it was so goooooooey. Drove me crazy. Anyway, I could really relate to your post. Well told!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The commenter before writes ‘well told’. I will agree. My skin is still crawling from your description of the original incident with your eye!!
    As others, I can so relate. Eyes- so important, so delicate. Drops twice a day for this girl and… I rely on someone else to apply them. An extra layer of trust required.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Happy that the AM Time is better than its predecessor. Warm wishes.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. freddiegeorgia says:

    It’s clear to see…you need to spend more time hanging upside down from tree limbs.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. like birt

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m uncomfortable clicking on the”like” button here! But it signals my admiration – for the telling and the dealing! So so glad to know AM time arrived for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. In the past I lived in a country where it’s people had the same reply when ever one asked for anything, anything at all.
    Their reply is “of course, I’d would give you my eyes to see with if you were to ask”

    “I would give you my eyes to see with” 🙂
    I’m sorry for your pain.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. WordPress is annoying, I swear my grammar and spelling is ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. OMG…our fragile lives.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Yes! Life with lube is *infinately* better!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I feel your pain. I use Muro 128 every night because of frequent corneal erosions. My erosions started in law school. No explanation for it. Anyway, I actually had laser surgery and now use the salve every night and boom no more erosions!! I think the contact lens wearing was actually making the erosions happen. Good luck to you! The struggle is real!!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. john fassett says:

    So here it is a year+ later. I have used Muro 128 daily for over a year. All of a sudden it is hard to find and costly. I was paying around $33 per twin pak online. Now it is around $46 if you can find it. Is it still in production?

    Liked by 1 person

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