Running. With Gremlins.

running-black and white

6:00 am. 60º F. Light breeze. A Runner’s paradise. I’m out the door.

Mood Check: On a continuum of Bliss on the right and Rage on the left, the needle is twitching left of center.

It is said that, today, we live in a secular society, believing in worldly, non-religious, non-spiritual “things.” Just look at me. Every morning when I step on the scale…no matter what caloric catastrophe I engaged in the day before, I believe our Taylor 7506 Digital Scale is going to deliver.  This morning, was just another morning.  My cup runneth over. With belief.

A deep breath. A pause. One step up. Then the other. The digital read-out comes to life. Gremlins scurrying around with their algorithms. They’re flicking in a range from 208.5 to 207.8 and back. Why do you think they flick in a range? They didn’t use to flick in a range. Belly jiggling, so they can’t lock on? My eyes get large. They settle on 208.3. DAMN IT.

Ten pounds up in less than 60 days. If God was Good…If God was Great, this wouldn’t be so damn difficult. I’m drowning in temptation. Cereal. Danishes. Fruit and Cheese filled croissants. Ice cream. Pasta. And that was just yesterday. It’s raining on me.

And by now, you know what comes next: PENANCE.

Don’t you dare stop. Don’t you dare. You don’t seem to be able to stop with the Danishes.

So I run. And run. And Run.

I strip off my running gear. Gingerly. Lower back is tight. Upper thighs are taut. Hamstrings – steel cables. Bones are cracking in both feet. Heals are tender. Toes are crying out for help. This is damn near a train derailment.

I turn on the shower and wait for the water to warm.

I reach for the towel and there’s the Taylor 7506.  Waiting for the next Prayer. Do I? Do I check? 

Another deep breath. A pause. One step on. Then the other.

The Gremlins, confident now, snap out 203.8. Less to jiggle. If I’d only run another 5 miles, I could have…

Time Check: 1 hour, 33 minutes. 9.75 miles.

Nap Time.


Notes:

Comments

  1. Well done. Now, stay away from the kitchen.

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  2. I’m not a runner, never have been, but this Is a very interesting, amusing post. Thanks for sharing and good luck with the Danish.

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  3. This rings very true. Thanks for inspiring me to look inward a little more.

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  4. Good for you! At least you’re out there running.

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  5. It sounds like the Gremlins aren’t in the scale. Perhaps, just perhaps they are lurking in the bakery. Just sayin’… Isn’t it great to be able to run, to feel the wind on your face, to feel your lightness of feet?

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  6. One of these Saturdays, you’re just going to avoid the scale and go have fun…

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  7. One of these days you’ll come up with a brilliant solution. Like canceling the standing order at your bakery.

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  8. step on the scale without your gremlins and the needle will land in your favor

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  9. With an extra 5 pounds around my 50-year old middle from 2 weeks of vacation indulges, like breakfast – complete with eggs, bread, pastries, cheese – wine or beer with lunch and dinner, I could definitely relate, David! Keep on runnin’ – I’m over here doin’ the same!

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  10. ophelia says:

    You still haven’t tried the 5:2 diet? Then you could save your running for fun 🙂

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  11. Good. So hopefully this will mean no more enticing images of sinfully delicious concoctions. No more no more.. Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you go there no more..

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    • Laughing. Hit the Road, Jack. That was great. No Makere, sinfully delicious concoctions will keep comin’. Oh, yes they will. One does not gravitate from the mean of their behaviors and habits.

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  12. What?! You ran off 4.5 pounds?! Holy Heart-attack! No wonder your body was rioting!

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  13. David, when will you learn? Running is not punishment; not eating the danishes, cakes, cookies, etc. is punishment.

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    • Carolann, Danishes and cakes and cookies are punishment. Come on! As to when will I learn, I’m afraid likely never. Sad, really! Eat, overeat, run – try to claw back to weight I was before. Quite ignorant actually. But I’ve been at it for years.

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  14. Definitely nap time!! 😉 Well done for running at all, it’s not something I can bring myself to do. I’m not too bad at keeping away from the fridge though, having a blog, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and many more helps – occupies the mind and keep fingers busy and away from cake!! 😀

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