4am bell. I work till 1pm. Late jump to beat Friday afternoon traffic. We’re rumbling down I-95. I rub my eyes. Not looking forward to a grueling 11-hour marathon. Eye lids are heavy and the horse ain’t out of the gate.
Two stop-and-go hours to get to New Jersey. Two hours to traverse 45 miles. Ominous start. I grit my teeth. Ten hours to go. Still ahead – – more construction zones. Friday rush hour through the Baltimore-D.C. corridor. Dodging testosterone-fired teens, drunks and white tail deer seeking warmth on the highway. Yes, rumbling down the Road to Perdition.
Pilot is Autonoman. Actions speak the Autonoman, not words.
Co-pilot (aka Susan) is governed by Words. Words. Words.
“I had the best poached eggs for breakfast.” I catch something about sliced avocados. Dash of salt and pepper.
“I spoke to Julia….” I catch words on Dinner. Next weekend. And apparently missed the follow-on question.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“You’d drive 11 hours without saying a word.”
Autonoman feels the glare to his right…the heat emanating from Words.
No response from Autonoman. He is stoic. No eye blinks. No head movement. Right foot softly taps the accelerator, just enough trigger a head snap to send a message. A non-verbal signal that Autonoman has entered a quasi-Monk state. Solitude. Silence. (But No-fasting. Let’s not take this thing too far.)
And back to the question of driving 11 hours in the cockpit without a word. Autonoman ponders the question. Sighs. Then responds.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
Autonoman turns and stares.
There she goes again with another rhetorical question. Knowing that it takes so very little to light up this Roman Candle. 25 years ago, post wooing and honeymoon phase, Autonoman would have fired back a volley. But no, he’s grown.
Autonoman smiles. And lists…
“J.K Rowling. Julia Roberts. Clint Eastwood. Einstein. Larry Page (Google). Steve Martin.”
“What?”
“All introverts. And add Vincent Van Gogh to the list. Do you know he said: “It is practically always so painful for me to speak to other people.”
Words looks over. Smirks.
“You ain’t no Van Gogh.”
Autonoman reaches to the back seat. Grabs his noise canceling headphones. Plugs-in.
And sits quietly in his head. Rollin’ down 95.
Image Credit: thierrydehove.com. Modified Autonoman quote.
You will pay for that, though…….
I always pay Ray. Always. And I know better. 🙂
I think the Village Undertaker has a point there! LOL.
He does Anneli.
OMG, 11 hours of driving, after starting your day at 4:00 AM??? Am I understanding that correctly? I know it’s you because you are unmistakable when you write something like “(But No-fasting. Let’s not take this thing too far.)” Awww, so sorry Autonoman.
Yes. But let’s expand. We were picking up Eric from college. 11 hours one way and 10 hours back between Friday afternoon and last night at 2am. Now there is relaxation. And how the Kanigan’s roll. 🙁
Relaxation, yes…you deserve it after all that driving. 🙂
:), and today has been napping day!
Now I understand why you said you were going to be a turtle ….you were crawling. But pal, as one of your greatest fans I must say that it is a little, teeny, bit presumptuous – but Van Gogh – really??? And you look nothing like Julia Roberts – or Clint Eastwood for that matter. Props to Susan for spending eleven hours in a car with her Autonoman – and humoring him.
PS. You old always stop here en route back up 95. We’re at a good point for a break, and we won’t talk to you – just Susan.
Shocking (Not) that you take Susan’s side. And your offer, amazingly good. (Esp the no talking part. I can play with your dogs in the back yard while you chat)
You guys are welcome anytime…and the pups would love to play with you.
What a lucky guy. I know how Susan feels as I see that very Quiet guy everyday.
Oh boy! Let me stop there.
You normally my sympathies, Dave. Kind of feeling for Susan on this one though 😉
🙂 Of course LaDona. Of course.
Here is some hard earned advice. Ditch the I-95 route and take the route via Interstate 81 through the Shenandoah Valley. Its about 48 miles longer, but significantly less traffic and a beautiful drive. After adjusting for the traffic delays you get in Jersey, Philly, DC and sometime Richmond, the travel time is the same. My best time from the Purchase office was 10:45, solo. Trust me I have made the run to Winston Salem about 20 times.
Len, thanks. We took that route the first time. Stuck in construction and accident delays. Our best line of attack is night time travel. 10 hours and 10.5 hours when we travelled at night. Straight shot. Limited traffic delays.
I remember those trips from MD to FLA – always made hubby drive through GA, I could never get through there without being stopped for speeding. G-r-r-r
So far, we’ve been lucky, knock on wood.
Thus your epitaph has been coined, “Ain’t no Van Gogh”. She’s good, oh so very good!
You too, piling on with all the women followers. The question is, why I should be surprised!
Road trips are great fantasies and awful realities. Glad you arrived home safely.
🙂 So True Susan. Thank you.