Every morning. Same ritual. Groan in preparation for the morning weigh-in. I take off every stitch of clothing thinking that my underwear somehow will tip the scales. (Am I a child?) I take a deep breath. My food intake from the prior day flashes by. Hoping for a miracle here – thinking maybe, just maybe, my super metabolism worked harder overnight – - given that I slept well and all. (Are you serious? This is going to be bad.) Then, I then step on the scale. Damn it. No miracle. And this is even after grinding out my work-out three days in a row.
Here’s the score card:
(*Who am I kidding adding decimals)
So, I just finished my run. And decided to tally up the tonnage from yesterday’s feeding frenzy – - and humiliate myself in front of all of my closest friends. GOING PUBLIC. LETTING IT ALL HANG OUT THERE. Here we go:
- 1 cup Honey Bunches of Oats (160 cal) (Shoulda stopped right here. Had no idea what was coming)
- 1 cup Granola (450 cal) (I was shocked at the cal count here. OMG, this is devil’s food)
- Total Cal Count for Breakfast: 610 cal
- 3 cups Buttered Egg Noodles (350 cal) (Made on impulse. Was watching Melissa Darabian make the dish on Food Network. 9 Reviewers gave it 5 stars. I’d give it 3.5/Pass.)
- 1 Chobani Yogurt + 2 TBSP Smuckers Jam (150 + 100 = 250 cal) (I haven’t shaken the lace-the-yogurt-with-the-Smuckers-Jam-thing yet. For more background see my prior post: Oh, what terrible choices.
- Potato Chips (150 cal) (Rationalized the intake by saying I was only going to have a few. You are shameful.)
- Total Cal Lunch: 650 cal. Aggregate tally: 1260.
(1260 calories! And most of you aren’t even out of bed yet.)
- 1.5 Cheeseburgers (425 cal) (0.5? Rachel couldn’t finish hers. Can’t let food go to waste)
- 2.5 Corn on the Cob (300 cal) (Can it possibly be this many calories? Another shocker)
- 1 Pc Watermelon (50 cal) (Well that wasn’t so bad)
- Potpourri of dessert bites including Key Lime Pie, Chocolate Tart, Peanut Butter Tart. Lemon Ice Cream Bar. (250 cal) (Now this was absolutely ridiculous. Who does this? 250 calories may be a delusional tally. I couldn’t bear to give myself anymore. Sort of like a snowman on a bad hole in golf. Enough is enough.)
- Total Dinner Cal Count: 1025 cal. Aggregate tally for day: 2285
And one could say, it could have been worse.
Well it was.
I’ve been on a Hershey’s caramel topping rage for the past month. Here’s the calorie count for my jacked up bowl of strawberries:
- TOTAL CALORIE COUNT FOR THE DAY: 2695.* (*Rounded down for Snowman on Dessert)
- TOTAL CALORIES BURNED: ~ 500* (*Does not incl calories burned running to fridge)
- And let’s wrap this up with Bon Jovi:
It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I’m alive
- Every Behavior and Every Thought Has a Consequence (Let Life In Practices/Kristin Barton Cuthriel)
- Oh, what terrible choices.