Tag: kind

Chekhov on the 8 Qualities of Cultured People

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Anton-Chekhov

It was 127 years ago.  Chekhov was 26 years old when he wrote a letter to his 28-year old brother outlining the eight qualities that must be satisfied for people to be cultured.

“Anton Pavlovich Chekhov  (1860-1904) was a Russian physician and author who is considered to be among the greatest writers of short stories in history.  He practiced as a doctor throughout most of his literary career stating: ‘Medicine is my lawful wife.  And, literature is my mistress.'”

A excellent post by Brain Pickings shares excerpts from Chekhov’s letter to his brother.  The post is worth reading in its entirety.  Here are a few of my favorites:

“Cultured people must, in my opinion, satisfy the following conditions:

1) They respect human personality, and therefore they are always kind, gentle, polite, and ready to give in to others…

2) They have sympathy not for beggars and cats alone…They sit up at night in order to help to pay for brothers at the University, and to buy clothes for their mother. Continue reading “Chekhov on the 8 Qualities of Cultured People” →

Somehow I had been taught to fear genuine kindness…

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gentle, kind, big dog-bunny

“Gentleness may have been the first thing I noticed about Joe…I may have noticed his size at about the same time: though he is by no means an enormous man, he was the tallest person in our training, and one of the few men.  Though I believe that he is gentle by nature, I get the sense that he also carefully cultivates gentleness, probably in part to compensate for a tendency to seem imposing.  The intensity of his focus, his fierce intelligence, and his penetrating insight may have contributed to an all-around sense of intimidation, were it not for his warm heart and gentle approach…Joe’s equanimity and gentleness were part of what made me so suspicious.  I felt I was being lulled into something, perhaps made to accept some kind of touchy-feely, New Age pabulum. (Only much later would it occur to me, with a painful shock: somehow I had been taught to fear genuine kindness, to be suspicious of sentiment, to believe that if it wasn’t genuine poetry, it wasn’t genuine feeling.  When, I wondered, did I become so infected with irony that I couldn’t receive uncomplicated love?) With time, though, I recognized that Joe epitomized the first rule of Rubenfeld Synergy Method: gentleness.  Approaching our clients this way also communicates a deep kind of attention: when we are being gentle, we are listening, and leaving space for the client’s truth to emerge.”

~ Kamela Dolinova, Gentleness: the first word in our work

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How much I enjoy air travel…

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chart, ilovecharts, fun, funny, humor, travel, flying, planes

I was returning home from Chicago today.  Ominous skies were threatening our return.  Weather reports from home are gloomy – thunderstorms and heavy rains are pounding the NYC region.  The flight is full.  The mood among the passengers is surly…no one is up for an extended delay, or worse, a cancelation heading into the weekend.  Yet, the flight is off, and on time and largely uneventful.  We circle for 15 minutes over NYC as air traffic is backed up.  We land.  A few minutes late but the relief in the cabin is palpable.

We’re on the tarmac.  An elderly lady three rows back is on her cell phone calling a family member.  In a voice that is heard 8-10 rows in each direction, she let them know “THAT I’LL BE A BIT LATE AND THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.” She carries on her phone conversation on her stay in Chicago and her plans for the weekend.  Then, there’s a moment of silence.  And, she’s back on the phone.  This time with her car service.  Her piercing voice is echoing up and down the tube.  “GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER!  I’LL NEED TO CALL YOU FROM BAGGAGE CLAIM.  NO I NEED YOUR NUMBER. 212-656-.  WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? 212-65X?  SPEAK LOUDER.”  This goes back and forth several times until she manages to get the number.  Then, there’s another moment of silence and she’s back on the phone with another family member.  “I SHOULDN’T BE TOO LATE.”  The conversation continues for several minutes at a raised decibel level.  There’s another moment of silence and she’s back on the phone again. Continue reading “How much I enjoy air travel…” →