Wally’s Great Adventures (33).

Posted on by Live & Learn

Wally’s Great Adventures (33). hello friends, wally here. i was outside scouting for vermin & came across a big pile of black jelly beans that someone dropped. they didn’t taste like jelly beans or black beans or any kind of beans that i know of. i thought maybe if i ate a bunch of them they would taste better. dad was staring at his gadget at the other end of the yard, and i was gobbling them up as fast as i could. They didn’t taste anything as good as the few pieces of banana that dad snuck to me earlier in the morning. then i saw dad rushing towards me. ‘WALLY! YOU ARE NOT EATING SCAT. SHIT. CRAP. DAMN YOU WALLY. I CAN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR 30 SECONDS.’ dad was upset & stuck his giant finger down my throat, i gagged a little and coughed up a few beans. ‘WALLY, YOU CAN’T BE EATING THIS SHIT.” dad is so smart, they didn’t really taste that good, they tasted awful actually, i threw up a little in my mouth. mom got home, i’m so glad that dad didn’t tell her, i think dad was afraid that he would get yelled at. i love mom but dad is my bff. we have each others back when we get in trouble. after lunch mom took me to go poop and mom said i had diarrhea poop, dad calls it shitting like a goose. mom asked dad if he had any idea why i was shitting like a goose. dad said thats because i want to be a bird hunting dog. mom did.not.think.it.was.funny.at.all. dad then said it could have been from the few pieces of banana wally had. ‘Wally had banana all by hisself, she asked?’ well, no. mom was angry. when she gets like this, dad for reasons of insanity piles on, he told her that i ate a pile of SCAT.SHIT.CRAP. wow, mom came unhinged. i never saw mom that mad. she stormed into the garage, grabbed a giant shovel, & went to bury the SCAT.SHIT.CRAP. dad & i went upstairs to hide while the storm blew over. i sat on the bed. “WALLY! WTH IS THAT? IS THAT HOW A SHOW DOG SITS? PLEASE TELL ME THAT ISNT A CURTSY. DID MOM TEACH YOU THAT?’ dad’s been working so hard with his training and it just isnt taking. i’ll try harder tomorrow. have a great day everyone! Wally.

36 thoughts on “Wally’s Great Adventures (33).”

  3. sorry, Wally. I felt like that once after eating too much greasy pizza, and know your pain. plus, with your parents upset, just makes it even worse. you’re doing your part to keep them on their toes and active, no sitting down and slacking for your parents!

  4. Ahh, Wally, eating poop is all part of the growing process. Tell Dad he should just be happy you didn’t find a dead animal to roll around in just to ‘finish off the experience.’ Hang in there, little man. This, too, shall pass (see what I did there?….😂)

  5. Oh sweet boy, I think you’re training is going incredibly well! You have your dad’s curiousity, your mom’s sensitivity and sensibilities and your command of the English language is nothing short of astonishing! I know your dad provides the interpretation, but the thoughts are yours, I’m sure. You have talents and ability in abundance.

  6. I’m beginning to see a pattern develop here. You, doing what any youthful, male dog will do, your hooman not paying attention, and then said hooman blaming you for his not being an attentive parent. Hopefully, he will grow out of that phase.

  10. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Awesome day from Wally … “Dad’s been working so hard with his training and it just isn’t taking. i’ll try harder tomorrow. have a great day everyone! Wally.”

  11. Oh-h dear! So sorry, Wally, that you feel bad and wrong…but, we all know that you are innocent! Tell your father figure that all young creatures must be watched attentively, and you young’uns are too quick for us. [And, humans still have no sense about staying alive at 2, 3, 4, and so on and on…]

  13. I laughed out loud when I first read this, didn’t comment because I couldn’t and came back today because… I had to reread it.
    My friend has a dog, his name is Johnny… and he is ALWAYS EATING HIS POOP! She can’t get him to stop. Now, I don’t know if he also eats SCAT.SHIT.CRAP. I’ll have to ask her. And not to discourage your dad, but Johnny is 5 years old…

    1. One of our Labs, 12 year old MacKenzie has been a poop eater since birth. We gave up several years ago. Her twin brother, no such craving. It does make cleaning up the yard a little easier. 😎

      1. Zeke used to eat his poop in the first years. I was not sad that he stopped. And this is one of the many reasons I loathe “kisses” from dogs. And you do have a point! 🤣

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