Driving I-95 N. With 45s Spinning.


Picture the old 45 spinning on the RCA, with its slight wobble.

It hits a notch and repeats, and repeats and repeats.

Karen, a blogger friend, from “Healing Grief” had all of the Nacre she could stand.  She gently lifted the arm and suggested a new groove:

Love what Milner suggests practising bead memories. I have a challenge for you Mr K. In your next bead experience, tell us what You feel and see just “being.” No driving, no running, no working, just here, now.”

Healing Grief. Advice from a Woman who has felt Grief. Incomprehensible loss.

Would I be standing as she is, if I was hit?

I look at my index finger on the steering wheel. The hangnail is inflamed, biting.  Penance for pulling it, knowing the outcome, and pulling it anyway.  I watched the skin peel away, like string cheese, up the edges – blood slow in coming, but it comes. There’s my loss. My comparable loss, my suffering.

The comment landed Saturday.  Today…Thursday. How do I feel? Lost.

A flatbed carrying 20 Porta Potties passes on my right. A Royal Flush, Inc. Premier Porta Pottie Service.

How do I Feel?

I roll up my window.

How do I Feel?

Damn fortunate the Sh*t ain’t flying in here.



  1. sometimes feeling is too raw….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Karen is the The Shell, The Nacre, and The Pearl.
    I wish everyone reading your post would take the time to visit Karen’s page to learn more about her and from her.
    I knew Karen initially through reading her insightful comments on your posts. Then one day, and I forgot which of your posts that was, her comment was a quote from the Gnarls Barkley song Crazy, “Ha ha ha bless your soul. You really think you’re in control?”And I thought to myself “Hhhhmmm, this woman knows!”
    I visited her blog, read her story and read the book she published few months ago, Courage.
    No, I don’t think any of us would be standing had we suffered her loss.

    But Karen is different. where I come from we believe that God, or the Universe if you want to call it that, only hands you what you can HANDle.

    I pray sh*t never flies your way. Though you did feel it, it pinched you, not too long ago in your loss of Zeke.

    “The painful things seemed like knots on a beautiful necklace, necessary for keeping the beads in place.” ~ Anita Diamant, from The Red Tent.

    Beautiful tribute to One Great Woman. Love you Karen.


    Liked by 3 people

  3. all things in their measure. put in perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I must admit I felt a smile broaden on my face as I started to read this post. Like a proud teacher when she sees a student with so much potential and light but has yet to discover this truth for themselves.

    Pain is pain, grief is grief, we can’t compare the scale of who has had more. You may feel lost at times, who hasn’t? but you are definitely far from it. Your writing is always so beautiful and deep and so are the words you share from others. I think you underestimate the gifts you have. Your search for meaning is universal, and you are certainly not alone. I am honored to be surrounded by such gorgeous souls on WordPress. I learn so much from each one of you. Thanks Dave 🙏🏻

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Sometimes it takes a real tragedy for us to reconnect with the deepest feeling part of ourselves … and at other times it’s a consistent and persistent tap on our shoulder. Like Karen 💛
    Most of us live our lives in our thinking minds and from our habits. Stepping back and bringing awareness to what is real and what is important can shift everything.
    Evolution and growth is never easy… but it a journey worth embarking on in order to find balance and peace …. in Being rather than doing 😎

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Karen’s posts always make me stop and think, and oftentimes go on down the road a little kinder, more forgiving, more introspective, moved….

    Liked by 5 people

  7. Fortunate. Yes we are …having the bright example of Karen to learn from.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. 🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Now that is an excellent question to ponder, continuously…how do I feel? Can be such a very difficult one to answer, impossible if moving, especially at break-neck speed. Slow and still…the answer will come.

    Liked by 2 people

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