5:17 am. 25° F. Rollin’ down I-95 South in light morning traffic, with other insomniacs and the red tail lights of the hulking convoys.
I roll the tape back to the scene last night.
“Wow!”
“Wow what?”
“How much did it cost?”
“$55.”
“$55?”
“$55.”
“$55 per eyebrow?”
“Really Dad?”
“What?”
“Eyelashes. Eyelashes Dad. And, who would get just one eyelash extended?”
I ponder that for a moment. She has a point there.
“Not sure I’m likin’ it.”
“I’m sure I don’t care what you think.”
“No, now that I look closely, I’m sure I don’t like it.”
This is heading down the wrong path, but I can’t help myself. Parental guidance has to be delivered no matter what the consequences. She’ll thank me later.
I point to a magazine cover. “Look at this woman.”
“And?”
“She’s beautiful. And she’s not wearing whisk brooms.”
“Dad, she’s an Armenian Model! And she’s wearing them too!”
“You would look like her if you remove those things.”
“Dad, you’re insane.”
“You would!”
“Dad, everyone wears these.”
I stare.
Does everyone, really?
I Blink. Blink. Blink. And Blink again.
Does she gets eye strain from hauling the whisk brooms around?
“Dad, stop staring.”
“$55 huh?”
“Yes. And monthly maintenance.”
“Monthly maintenance? Like Lawn Care?”
“Exactly.”
“Really? You’ve got to be kidding?!”
“Really.”
“Should I ask how much that costs?”
“No Dad, let it go.”
“Whoo Ah!”
Every Day is a great day to be a Man.
5:45 am.
Game Time.
Notes:
- Gif Image: stonelario
- Related Posts: Family
Having three daughters, (27, 25 and 21) I get it. You have to pick what hills are worth dying for and you soon learn that there are dam few worth the bloodshed. I discovered that it is important to give them enough room to make their own mistakes. Eventually, they figure it out.. (it is a funny story though). Also, I never saw that movie, but am intrigued by the clips.
Smiling. I haven’t learned what hills should be left alone. I attack them all. (Fool)
You haven’t seen Scent of a Woman? It is must see…
“like lawn maintenance”…hysterical. She’ll outgrow this.
Now. Now. Now.
“I blink. Blink. And blink again.” Parenting in a nutshell. I would have been a terrible mother to girls. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning, Dave!! 🙂
Smiling. Thank you Martha.
Made me smile too 🙂 not easy to be parents in these days… There are so many things new, and I can’t catch them… Thank you, have a nice day and weekend, Love, nia
So true Nia. Thank you.
I know you mean well but you men will never get it.
Laughing. Thank God for THAT.
If we never see a post from you again we will know what happened. You think you can publish stuff like this and get away with it? I hope you are wearing an extra layer of underwear today.
“Every day is a great day to be a man” is the quote of the month for me. Thank you sir!
LAUGHING. Stomach hurts. STILL LAUGHING.
Your comment was the comment of the day in our household.
THANK YOU
The perspective is very welcome. My crew spares me so much. I’m ever so grateful they’re all beautiful and mostly practical.
Lucky you Jnana. You are blessed. 🙂
Curious compassion, Dad. Not “how much did it cost?” but “why?” If it’s a fad, if all the young’uns are doing it, not worth huffing. But if she thinks she need them, then that’s another conversation.
It’s all a mystery to me Sandy. 🙂
“lawn maintenance”….love it! I have to confess to once having extensions. They looked good, but they were an ongoing project which meant time as well as money.
Smiling. Well I’m glad you grew out of it! (No pun intended)
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
“Every Day is a great day to be a Man.” ….. says the writer!!
Smiling. Funny!
Ahhhh, pal, sometimes it’s better just to quit while you’re ahead. This is akin to asking a woman how many pairs of black heels she needs (which my husband did once…foolishly). Now he just rolls his eyes and huffs quietly. 🙂
Huffs quietly. Just.Have.Not.Figured.it.Out. Have.Not.
Curious as to what her reaction to seeing this published here will be.
I asked her because she was quiet. Her response: “Well Dad, it was real.” And that was it.
That’s not it.
She will get you for this.
In a “real” way.
Hmmmmm. She has learned. That her Dad, today, has more tools at his disposal….she is appropriately cautious. 🙂
Hilarious. I’d like to hear her version of this one.
I have a similar one I was going to share, the topic being thongs, but when I went to look at the comments, my daughter had said “I cant believe you posted this again…I didnt like it the first time”.
I had posted it on a short lived temporary blog, and reposted to my current blog. I dont think that she meant that she liked it better the second time, so I’ll have to resist the urge to share. lol
Laughing. Thongs. Not sure I would have had the courage to do that – and to re-post it, that takes bravery to an entirely different level. Bravo!
As long as they don’t come off while she’s driving, I wouldn’t worry about it. As vanbytheriver says, she’ll outgrow it.
Ha! That would be dangerous.
Hope she’s paying for it, or at least part of it….but I’m gathering not.
She is paying for it. All of it. Including maintenance. Full stop.
Ooh I’m with a few of your friends here- you are in deep kimchee. I can imagine those “really, Dad” eye rolls will be swapped out for your sweet daughter’s, now elegantly-swoopy, angry eyes.
Really Dad- don’t you know that we don’t discuss the cost of these processes?
And. Really, Dad- for all intents and purposes, we are natural beauties.
LOL. YOU. ARE. IN. TROUBLE.
For the record- even though it’s a sad commentary on our perspective regarding women and beauty in our culture- I bet she is walking taller and more confidently at work today 😉 Knock ’em dead, girlfriend!
Laughing. I’m not touching any of this. No I will not.
Laughing, and having two girls I understand. You know, I think everyday is a good day to be a man (don’t be feeling sorry for yourself)…it’s tough being a girl Mr Kanigan! Here’s a tip, if she is paying for the eyelashes and expensive maintenance great! but if she wants you to pay for them, I would be getting her to mow your lawn and earn it! Happy Friday. 🙂
She is employed. She pays. Dad won’t touch this. Will.not.touch.this.
Good man. You know your place. 🙂
A line in the movie “Carousel,” is delivered by a new father when he thinks that his child not yet born may be a girl: “You can be a pal to a boy, but you have to be a father to a girl.”
I think it plays well here. Ask any man who has a daughter.
-Alan
Smiling. Truth! Thanks Alan.
very amusing. But .. I wonder how amused your lovely girl shall be upon casting those eyelashes down on this post. You may say, she has a great sense of humour…. hmmm. I hope so! 🙂 Have a wonderful day David.
Smiling. She does have a great sense of humor. And she dishes as well as takes. Thanks Debi.
very important to give and receive…… 🙂
having survived three daughters, and being one myself, it is nothing to get your eyelashes in a bunch about. this too shall pass. we each express ourselves in ways that make us feel good, and those ways are a moving target, subject to change at any moment.
Oh, so true. Including subject to change at a whim. Yes…
oh David. hells teeth. I’d probably say the same. lol lol lol And I wish I was young enough for whisk brooms.. lol lol lol
Hells Teeth. Love that! Smiling…
OMG…it’s another one of those “everyone does this, no one does this” type of posts. First, I learn that no one wears nylons anymore (from a previous post), and now I learn that everyone wears fake eyelashes. I’m keeping this all away from my daughter! I frown even when she goes for a manicure and shows me the fake fingernails. How can anyone do anything at all with all this fake stuff going on??? Oh well…to each his (or her) own, I guess. 🙂
smiling, all the way through the comment. two birds of a feather…
Your sharing brought a smile to my face and I laughed hard… Classic piece…I love your writing and humor…Sounds like Rachel is a good sport… My dear one occasionally wears a bindi and a fake nose ring, this week she assaulted her hair, the last four inches or so are now Olive green…she said it was suppose to be neon but my hair is so dark it came out Olive…she wears glued on fake eyelashes such an unnecessary enhancement…has your daughter made the purchase of Jeffrey Campbell shoes? (ie: platform stilts is my thought) How one can walk in those…is a mystery to me…
Thank you Christie. Rachel is a good sport. As to nose ring and Olive Green hair, you have patience of Job. Not sure what I would do there! As to Jeffrey Campbells, no, I haven’t seen platform shoes, not yet anyway. 🙂
Parental guidance? Sure. It’s our duty, whether children obey or not, it’s their right.
That is true!
Oh David, this made me laugh so hard (and now everybody is looking at me here in the lounge) but I bet you haven’t seen it all yet, women’s beauty secrets. There are many more.
Oh Helen, I’m sure that I haven’t seen it all. Mother and Daughter returned from Pedicures today (12 F outside). And both in bare feet wearing light yellow flip flops. I said what is that? They said, so it won’t ruin the pedicure. OMG. What a nightmare.