Driving I-95 S. With Whisk Brooms and Women.

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5:17 am. 25° F.  Rollin’ down I-95 South in light morning traffic, with other insomniacs and the red tail lights of the hulking convoys.

I roll the tape back to the scene last night.

“Wow!”
“Wow what?”
“How much did it cost?”
“$55.”
“$55?”
“$55.”
“$55 per eyebrow?”
“Really Dad?”
“What?”
“Eyelashes. Eyelashes Dad. And, who would get just one eyelash extended?”

I ponder that for a moment. She has a point there.

“Not sure I’m likin’ it.”
“I’m sure I don’t care what you think.”
“No, now that I look closely, I’m sure I don’t like it.”

This is heading down the wrong path, but I can’t help myself.  Parental guidance has to be delivered no matter what the consequences.  She’ll thank me later.

I point to a magazine cover. “Look at this woman.”
“And?”
“She’s beautiful. And she’s not wearing whisk brooms.”
“Dad, she’s an Armenian Model! And she’s wearing them too!”
“You would look like her if you remove those things.”
“Dad, you’re insane.”
“You would!”
“Dad, everyone wears these.”

I stare.
Does everyone, really?
I Blink. Blink. Blink. And Blink again.
Does she gets eye strain from hauling the whisk brooms around?

“Dad, stop staring.”
“$55 huh?”
“Yes. And monthly maintenance.”
“Monthly maintenance? Like Lawn Care?”
“Exactly.”
“Really? You’ve got to be kidding?!”
“Really.”
“Should I ask how much that costs?”
“No Dad, let it go.”

Whoo Ah!

Every Day is a great day to be a Man.

5:45 am.

Game Time.


Notes:

Comments

  1. Having three daughters, (27, 25 and 21) I get it. You have to pick what hills are worth dying for and you soon learn that there are dam few worth the bloodshed. I discovered that it is important to give them enough room to make their own mistakes. Eventually, they figure it out.. (it is a funny story though). Also, I never saw that movie, but am intrigued by the clips.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “like lawn maintenance”…hysterical. She’ll outgrow this.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “I blink. Blink. And blink again.” Parenting in a nutshell. I would have been a terrible mother to girls. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning, Dave!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Made me smile too 🙂 not easy to be parents in these days… There are so many things new, and I can’t catch them… Thank you, have a nice day and weekend, Love, nia

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know you mean well but you men will never get it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. If we never see a post from you again we will know what happened. You think you can publish stuff like this and get away with it? I hope you are wearing an extra layer of underwear today.

    “Every day is a great day to be a man” is the quote of the month for me. Thank you sir!

    Liked by 4 people

  7. The perspective is very welcome. My crew spares me so much. I’m ever so grateful they’re all beautiful and mostly practical.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Curious compassion, Dad. Not “how much did it cost?” but “why?” If it’s a fad, if all the young’uns are doing it, not worth huffing. But if she thinks she need them, then that’s another conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. “lawn maintenance”….love it! I have to confess to once having extensions. They looked good, but they were an ongoing project which meant time as well as money.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    “Every Day is a great day to be a Man.” ….. says the writer!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ahhhh, pal, sometimes it’s better just to quit while you’re ahead. This is akin to asking a woman how many pairs of black heels she needs (which my husband did once…foolishly). Now he just rolls his eyes and huffs quietly. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Curious as to what her reaction to seeing this published here will be.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. As long as they don’t come off while she’s driving, I wouldn’t worry about it. As vanbytheriver says, she’ll outgrow it.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hope she’s paying for it, or at least part of it….but I’m gathering not.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Ooh I’m with a few of your friends here- you are in deep kimchee. I can imagine those “really, Dad” eye rolls will be swapped out for your sweet daughter’s, now elegantly-swoopy, angry eyes.
    Really Dad- don’t you know that we don’t discuss the cost of these processes?
    And. Really, Dad- for all intents and purposes, we are natural beauties.
    LOL. YOU. ARE. IN. TROUBLE.
    For the record- even though it’s a sad commentary on our perspective regarding women and beauty in our culture- I bet she is walking taller and more confidently at work today 😉 Knock ’em dead, girlfriend!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Laughing, and having two girls I understand. You know, I think everyday is a good day to be a man (don’t be feeling sorry for yourself)…it’s tough being a girl Mr Kanigan! Here’s a tip, if she is paying for the eyelashes and expensive maintenance great! but if she wants you to pay for them, I would be getting her to mow your lawn and earn it! Happy Friday. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  17. A line in the movie “Carousel,” is delivered by a new father when he thinks that his child not yet born may be a girl: “You can be a pal to a boy, but you have to be a father to a girl.”
    I think it plays well here. Ask any man who has a daughter.
    -Alan

    Liked by 1 person

  18. very amusing. But .. I wonder how amused your lovely girl shall be upon casting those eyelashes down on this post. You may say, she has a great sense of humour…. hmmm. I hope so! 🙂 Have a wonderful day David.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. having survived three daughters, and being one myself, it is nothing to get your eyelashes in a bunch about. this too shall pass. we each express ourselves in ways that make us feel good, and those ways are a moving target, subject to change at any moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. oh David. hells teeth. I’d probably say the same. lol lol lol And I wish I was young enough for whisk brooms.. lol lol lol

    Liked by 1 person

  21. OMG…it’s another one of those “everyone does this, no one does this” type of posts. First, I learn that no one wears nylons anymore (from a previous post), and now I learn that everyone wears fake eyelashes. I’m keeping this all away from my daughter! I frown even when she goes for a manicure and shows me the fake fingernails. How can anyone do anything at all with all this fake stuff going on??? Oh well…to each his (or her) own, I guess. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Your sharing brought a smile to my face and I laughed hard… Classic piece…I love your writing and humor…Sounds like Rachel is a good sport… My dear one occasionally wears a bindi and a fake nose ring, this week she assaulted her hair, the last four inches or so are now Olive green…she said it was suppose to be neon but my hair is so dark it came out Olive…she wears glued on fake eyelashes such an unnecessary enhancement…has your daughter made the purchase of Jeffrey Campbell shoes? (ie: platform stilts is my thought) How one can walk in those…is a mystery to me…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Christie. Rachel is a good sport. As to nose ring and Olive Green hair, you have patience of Job. Not sure what I would do there! As to Jeffrey Campbells, no, I haven’t seen platform shoes, not yet anyway. 🙂

      Like

  23. Parental guidance? Sure. It’s our duty, whether children obey or not, it’s their right.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Oh David, this made me laugh so hard (and now everybody is looking at me here in the lounge) but I bet you haven’t seen it all yet, women’s beauty secrets. There are many more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Helen, I’m sure that I haven’t seen it all. Mother and Daughter returned from Pedicures today (12 F outside). And both in bare feet wearing light yellow flip flops. I said what is that? They said, so it won’t ruin the pedicure. OMG. What a nightmare.

      Like

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