“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch.
Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.
Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.”
You can buy Julien Smith’s book: The Flinch@ Amazon for free. “A book so important we refuse to charge for it.” Julien Smith has delivered a surprise, a confrontation, a book that will push you, scare you and possibly stick with you for years to come. Julien Smith is a New York Times bestselling author and speaker who has been involved in organizing online communities for over 15 years, from early BBSes and flashmobs to the social web as we know it today. Along with being the co-author of Trust Agents, one of the social web’s most recognized books, he is a contributor to GQ, Sirius Satellite Radio, Cosmopolitan, the CBC, and more. Julien’s work is often about leaning into discomfort and pain, into self-examination and discipline, intending both to provoke and unbalance. The lessons from The Flinch came from self-defense professionals, security experts, weightlifters, parkour practitioners, and more. (I’ve downloaded the book.)
Image Source: Black and White. Quote Source: Rabbit Howls
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- There will be no damage control today…
- Remember treading water in the center of the still night sea…
Live & Learn 
Yes, this is a Kindle download for sure…The thoughts are provocative, not necessarily defining personality in a concrete way, yet affirmatively stating what it is not. The idea of self-immolation (figuratively speaking) is so powerful, the process of rebuilding one’s self from the inside out..Thanks for the recommendation..
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Yes. Provocative. A kick in the pants. A get up and go. I found his words to be powerful. Let’s see if his book lines up. I’m looking forward to it. (Hope the trailer isn’t better than the movie.)
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Laughing – me too. Although even if all the book offers up is the ‘trailer’ you quoted, it still provided food for thought – and yes, a swift kick in the pants too.
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Very thought provoking passage, David. I will look out for the book.
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Thanks Sylvia.
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Your post prompted me to order a Kindle with this book already loaded. I should have it in time for Christmas. 🙂
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My unread stack is large. Let me know what you think of it Sylvia.
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Here’s a case where there is something for nothing. Although the cost is in the reading! Good post, David
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Yes John. Smiling. You are right. Thank you.
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I now have a new question to ask myself when I say no, or perhaps yes. Is this a flinch, an attempt to stay in my comfort zone? Book has been downloaded .. thanks for the recommendation.
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I’m with you Laurie. “Flinch” is such an evocative word.
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Reblogged this on What I see, what I feel, what I'd like to see… and commented:
Thanks for sharing this, David…
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Thanks for sharing Todd.
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Thanks for the tip I will check it out..happy Tuesday David
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You too Tina. Thanks.
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Thought provoking – and that’s good. But I like myself. I accept my fears and limitations as long as I have my good stuff. I don’t regret my level of success. I’m happy with. Whatever I’ve achieved. I like who I am. If I learn to do things I thought I couldn’t or break habits I’d be better off without it will be ME that does it, not a rebuild after a disastrous fire. Fire does purify but we protect our houses from it.
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Your comment reminds me of the adage: “Be comfortable in your own skin.” Many of us would love to trade places or share a bit of the wonder you have Frank.
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BTW you choice of image/illustration is perfect as usual.
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Thank you Frank
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What an intriguing book! Great post as always. Keep on going.
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Thank you. If I can get away from reading blog posts, I might be able to crack the book and check it out.
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You’ve got me thinking.
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Hmmmm. Anneli speechless. A first. I noted the date and time.
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HA! Okay, you got me!
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I have given you an award here:
http://theothersideofugly.com/2012/12/18/affirmations-abound/
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Sheri, thank you kindly for the award nomination. Happy holidays to you and your family. Dave
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David,
Nothing could be more inspiring- nothing more difficult. Auden said “we’d rather be ruined than changed.”
But still, each moment is a fresh beginning. And the match is in my hand.
Tom
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And match you light my friend. With every word. Dave
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What’s really been special about this blog is communicating with people I hardly know. One of the rules of this contest is to nominate other blogs that mean so much to you. It’s really an honor to have been nominated Pat. Thank you so much! Blogs I nominate
‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award
Liz Blackmore- little box of books.
David Kanigan, Lead, learn, Love
Hungry girl-you get a low fat recipe everyday!
The Kovies-Pondering blessings-onememory at a time
Somethingville.com-Christie
Christie Pepper, Cookie momma’s blog
Christian Mahail- a writer who is terrific and very young!
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Congratulations on your nomination and thank you for returning the favor. Much obliged. Happy holidays to you and your family. Dave
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Whilst I was away from blogging I noted how all things are in a cycle of destruction and renewal, which appears to be how life works. I note its snowing on your blog 🙂
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:). Yes, it is snowing here. Not snowing for you?
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We had snow for a day last week, but no more snow yet.
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I like the challenge. Don’t know that the treachery change process is fully appreciated in his words, but nothing starts without an incentive. He’s done that.
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Yes, the incentive (the boot) is what I took from this too…
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I believe this time Allah Almighty chose you to send me HIS message – STOP FAKING IT SONIA and GO FOR IT! =) We all need such words to move forward.
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LAUGHING. GOOD!!!!
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I am happy that you are laughing.
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