Off to a late start today. Could not fire the engines. Or the head. Temperature: Brisk 35F. Not a trace of wind. And gloriously sunny. Sunny but dark.
I skip the hat. Skip the gloves. Skip the extra sweatshirt. I needed cold. Needed to feel alive. Needed a new path. A fresh 5-mile route. Away from the familiar.
9:45 am: I’m heading North. (It’s quiet out. Eerily quiet. I don’t hear birds. Traffic seems to be moving slower. Everyone mourning? Newtown is North. Sandy Hook Elementary School is 39 miles due North. TV images flicker by: Mother holding phone, screaming. Children being marched out of the building. “Close your eyes. Hold your hands.“)
9:52 am: I run by the Police Station and then the cemetery. Mourners are placing wreaths on graves. Canadian Geese are busily feeding on the surrounding grass. (Life. Death. I shudder. The children, 20 dead, apparently were still in the classroom this morning. On the floor? On stretchers? Covered in blankets? Are you warm? Where are you? No high school graduation for you. No college. No walk down the aisle at your wedding with your Father giving you away.)
10:05 am: My pace slows as I climb a hill. (Homeless. Jobless. Fatherless. Hopeless. Latch-key. Computer games. Violence. Kardashians. Gangs. Guns. Copycats. Blood thirsty media. Illiteracy. Poverty. Hunger. Greed. Cosmetic surgery. Pornography. Drugs. Semi-automatic weapons in Elementary Schools. And then, this morning, some are calling for the “arming of teachers” similar to the Israelis. Could this just be a bad dream? Home stretch to Armageddon?)
10:15 am: Running down hill now along the Long Island Sound. Pass Father pushing his child in stroller. (Parents. How will you cope? How can you sleep? How will you get out of bed? How will you process? The horror. The grief. Unbearable.)
10:26 am: I’m at the 4-mile marker and laboring. (I won’t see 5-miles. Don’t care if I see 5 miles. Feels pitch black now with the sun beaming in my eyes. I’m tired. That’s it. It’s just that I’m tired. I’ll get to a better place after some rest.)
10:29 am: I’m at the 4.25 mile marker. And stop. And walk the rest of the way home. (No mas.)
Time Check: 7 minutes worse than last week.
Eric comes home tonight ending his first term at college. Rachel on Wednesday. A son. A daughter. Both alive. Both flourishing. God Speed children. God Speed. Get home safely. Please…
Image Credit: favim.com
Related Posts: Running Series
Live & Learn 
So tragic and this must be stop. Innocent lives lost ;(
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Yes Jennifer, yes.
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😦
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Reblogged this on Photos and thoughts from my journey and commented:
In the aftermath of horror we try to continue our normal, mostly happy lives. Today that’s a challenge. We can’t allow ourselves to go numb. Carefully considered action must be undertaken. We must protect the children.
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Running must have helped. Thanks for the thoughtful post, David. Rebloged.
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Running did help Frank. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing my post. Dave
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I cry with you..I pray for your children to return safely home to enjoy the holidays..I hold my own adult children a half minute longer than usual and I have no words. No mas…it is true..no more.
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Thank you Mimi. We are all holding our children closer tonight.
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Very moving post, may the holidays with your children be joyful, and enjoyed. The tragic events have my mind on my own adult daughter, and how she is doing on a daily basis.
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Thank you Keith. Happy holidays to you and your family. Peace be with you. Dave
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The twins are here. We gave them an extra hug last night. Last month they lost a classmate in a senseless shooting where he was an innocent victim. Picking up the eldest granddaughter this afternoon from college. Last semester her school had over 112 bomb treats, most coming in the middle of the night. We live in a different kind of world today. I pray for the recent lost of precious lives in Newtown CT and for all of us. MAY GOD HELP US AND KEEP US SAFE.
BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!
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112 bomb treats. Surreal. Peace be with you and your family Francine. Dave
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There are no answers to this tragic event. Like everyone else, I feel helpless, numb, and cold. I can’t get warm. My heart is broken for all the families involved, for Newtown, and for our country. My prayers go out to all. Cherish every single day.
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Powerful post, Dave. My thoughts echo srp17.
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Saying a prayer that your kids arrive home safely and that the angels hold the folks in Newtown close….
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Thank you Lori. For us, 1 home and another next week. Have a good weekend.
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Powerful. I can’t fathom the pain the families, the community is dealing with. I echo Donna’s prayer.
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Thank you Laurie.
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Oh the horror! Those poor families, devastated in just a few moments.
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Yes, Sylvia, yes.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts & feelings that I believe most people have. To many emmotions. Can’t wait to see & hug my boy’s!
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Thanks Lorne
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I’m with you, David. They’ll soon be home with you. Look for the bigger picture, and carry on counting those many blessings.
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Yes, Michael. Yes.
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thanks for taking us there David; we need to stand in that painful place.
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Thank you Anake.
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I’m crying now…unspeakable sadness.
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Yes it is Carol
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Newtown is along way from Coralville, IA, yet I carried the grief of those families with me today today. Everything was slower, darker…Thank you for sharing, David.
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Thank you Vicki. It was slower and darker today.
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Everyone who has a living child must be ever so thankful that they have avoided a tragedy like this one. For those who lost a child in this latest massacre, no words can console them, but they have the condolences of people around the world. It’s not much, but it’s all we can do for them.
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Yes Anneli. Unfortunately, that is all we can do for them
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Yes.
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We’re under siege now. Like a country at war. Innocents die. It will wake us up or send us down a dark path. We choose.
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I’d argue that it could be worse that under siege. At least when you are under siege, you can take precautions as you know what potentially could happen. The uncertain, the horror, of this action in an elementary school, is incomprehensible. Sickening.
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Stay Blessed + Happy & Safe (The entire family) today & always…
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Thank you Sonia. You too.
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