Flying AA1487 JFK to PHX. More Lav Follies.

Posted on by Live & Learn

I ran the themes of this post by S&S (Spouse and Son).

Both gave me the “meh“.  “Tired.” “You’ve done this before.” “What’s so strange about that?”

Give me a hat tip. I choked down my usual retort. “Dumb and Dumber. What do you know?”

But Mind only needs a bit of push back, and they had me spinning away from the Topic. Maybe they’re right.

“He who- what was it?- walks out of step, hears another drum.”  Me and Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

The Lav drum beats.

JFK to Phoenix. Wide body Airbus.  My usual seat. Exit Row. One seat back from Lav, and clear shot of incoming and outgoing Lavatory activity.

5+ hour flight.  300 minutes of Showtime.

Game time.

  1. Occupant. Male. Boomer. In. Out. Leaves door open. Looks back down aisle, notes door is open, keeps walking.
  2. Occupant. Male. Millennial. In, with Smartphone in right hand. Out, with Smartphone in left. Can’t be without a connection at all times. Helps bowel movements.
  3. Occupant. Female. Boomer +. Waiting in aisle for Lav to free up. Slides into our row to let another passenger pass by. Backs her toosh right into my seatmate’s face.
  4. Occupant. Female. Blonde. Gen X. First in line of 3. “Stinks really bad. I can’t go in there.” Nose scrunched up. Walks to back of plane to find another lav.
  5. Occupant. Male. Millennial. Was standing behind Occupant #4 above. Looks around to see if anyone heard previous occupant. Dips nose in, concludes: Toxic.  Line stretches out.
  6. Occupant. Flight Attendant. Comes by to check the root cause of ruckus. Toilet not flushing.  Accumulation backing up. Steps in. Repairs malfunction. “This was not in the damn training manual.”
  7. Occupant. Millennial. Female. Bose wireless over-the-ear headphones. No point in skipping a tune while conducting your bus-i-ness.
  8. Occupant. Retiree +. Male. Cardigan. Jacket over the top of cardigan. He is pushing, pushing, pushing on door. Passenger taps him on shoulder and points up to the Occupied sign. He shrugs his shoulders and shuffles down the aisle to the Lav in the back of the plane. Occupant inside at the time comes out with “WTH is going on?!?” look. Lady waiting in line lip syncs: Not me!
  9. Occupant. Mom. In 20’s. Holding diapers. With Toddler. Little boy, blond hair, sucking on lollipop, runs back down the aisle. “Poopy Mommy. Poopy.”
  10. Occupant. Man. Early 30’s. Grey Hoodie. Faded blue jeans rolled up to show ankles +. (That’s still in style?) Neck pillow, around his neck. Never know when you’ll need your neck pillow in the Lav when it gets rockin’ in there.
  11. Occupant. Man. Gen X. Face covered with Face Mask, Coronavirus protection?
  12. Occupant. Woman. 50’s. Wearing dark blue, down puffer jacket. Buttoned up to the neck. She comes out, red faced, forehead glistening.  Puffer Jacket in Lav? Really?
  13. And let’s close with the Finalist and Award Winner.  Occupant. Man. Middle Aged. Sport coat. Slacks. Silver pin in lapel. Stripped socks. No shoes. No Shoes. No Shoes. No. No. No.  Can’t be possible. No. No Way!

Photo: View from the Wing

67 thoughts on “Flying AA1487 JFK to PHX. More Lav Follies.”

  5. I can’t think of anyone else who could make me keep reading this to the end. I suppose congratulations are in order ? PS … bring a book to read next trip 😊

  9. OMG; nearly needed to run to the …
    I would do the same thing but then, HH always takes the Exit seat – he has really long legs and he loves to stick them out to the gangway so that E.v.e.r.y.body can stumble over them….. Nice!
    That was a bit of a ‘choker’…. not a joker. But fun! Thanks – might go back to do more packing, piling stuff up, or maybe divert myself towards kitchen and bake a quiche, not really ‘the thing’ as I have also onions, garlic, smoked lardons AND then the cheese mixture. Cleaning out the freezer before move homewards!

  10. Don’t ask, but all my life, I’ve never used a public (gendered or otherwise) bathroom for any serious business. So guess who always encounters the freshly unthinkable for minor business visits. Really, we are Poop Nation. We eat too much!

  12. Oh my. Now that’s all rather disturbing! 🙂

    Recommendation 1: If you can still see all the images in your mind, give it a good flush.
    Recommendation 2: Next time, along with an audiobook and headset, bring a sleep mask.

    And really? Sock feet? Ugh.

  13. Too funny! I was laughing with each description. I could just picture you in despair, especially with
    the barefoot guy!

  16. I know you have a history with socks…and they must be black or blue…Where his striped socks wild colored or a bit subdued ? Of course DK would not approved occupants #13 for those in high powered Manhattan directors. Would have been more hilarious if his socks would have been themed – Charlie Brown characters, perhaps Snoopy in his Red Baron outfit…with Woodstock slippers /// I also have to dig up the most perfect video regarding airplane travel …

  20. snorted out my coffee at “Never know when you’ll need your neck pillow in the Lav when it gets rockin’ in there.” HA HA HA!

    ~ oh we humans are an odd bunch.

    -MJ

  21. One Must Watch to believe the decadence… This is the top bar flying…”Etihad A380 The Residence” your own 3 room suite, (larger than some NYC digs) with up to 14 ft of leg room, own private bathroom w/shower 2 tv’s, one refrigerator drawer, multiple meal courses, etc
    https://youtu.be/FtlF-6TnMuo

  23. Re: Your reply to the “Etihad A380 The Residence” You must be approaching 2.5 million airline miles? & had to use the flying port a potty so many times that you would only like to experience the exclusive, excessiveness of Top Drawer Flying Only Once? + I had no clue it was so noisy on an airplane…I’ve technically flown only once and I was about Ten Days old! I assume it was a military transport plane…from DC metro…I can think of only one reason I would fly and that would be a dire emergency…

  24. Who needs a movie when you have this show right in front of you?But I’m wondering about the wisdom of being so close to the toilet for 5+ hours. Thanks for the fun commentary.

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