Riding Metro North. With Flicker.

veggie-chips-jpgIt’s the Quiet Car.  Quiet.  There is no prohibition for dining in a Quiet Car. Or in any car for that matter.

You may be Pro-Life or Pro-Choice. You may be Vegetarian. You may believe in Global Warming. You may be a member of the NRA or for Gun Control. You may be for or anti Keystone Pipeline or fracking.  Voucher or Public School.  Whatever. As long as you aren’t in my face with your POV, I’m good.  With one exception: Dining on public transportation. Don’t like it. Don’t do it. Find it deplorable.

6:35 p.m. Metro North departing from Grand Central Station to parts North.

It’s a six-seater, with four persons.  Three people is manageable. Four is crowded. As the fourth piles in, the other three, me included, grumble. The commuter code is broken.

I’m knee to knee with a student, who has cracked open a pre-packaged salad, its perfume, sesame ginger dressing, spills into the cabin.  She spreads out her napkins and proceeds to dive in with her plastic fork.  Mixed mesclun greens. Julienne sliced red bell pepper. Water chestnuts. Baby Corn.  All coated and shimmering in dressing.  She catches me sliding my knees into the aisle. One Human feels discomfort in another Human.  She wraps the dish in the plastic bag offering additional spillage protection and looks up.  I grin.  A sort-of thank you cheetah-like grin. Just one drop on me and there will be an explosion in this train car.  She gingerly spears her greens and uses the plastic bag as a splash guard.  Graying Mustachio Man looks unpredictable, eyes have that crazed look, best not to test him.

Sitting diagonally across, is another Deplorable. Wired up with fire-red Beats ear buds, she tears into a bag of Veggie Chips. Chips, not so bad.  She’s wearing all black, black top, black pants, black shoes. Trying hard. Middle aged. Eating Veggie Chips. Black to cut a sleek look. Yoga or Soul Cycle on weekends. 

Her hand dips into the bag, grabs a chip and pops it into her mouth. While she chews, she fully extends her right hand into the middle of the aisle and vigorously rubs her index, thumb and forefinger – flicking the Veggie Chip salt between three sets of knees and the seats.  That didn’t just happen, no, it did not. Are those Veggie salt-motes dancing in the hissing florescent lamp light?

She dips back into the bag, pops another chip into her mouth and goes through the same routine again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again, until she finishes her bag of Veggie Chips.

She folds the bag up neatly in quarters, grabs the armrest, stands, and heads for the restroom.

Do you think she does that at home? 

Does a hired hand clean-up? 

Categorically defined as Human or Animal behavior?

 


Notes:

Comments

  1. I can only imagine the scene and your face.. pretty funny..Kanigan’s own stories the best.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I vote animals! It always astounds me when I see such behavior. We’ve all been there. No respect.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. OMG! That is so gross! Love the way you told the story though. I was hanging on every crumb.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I walk a block to work and never have interesting stories to share. Of course, no one spills stuff on me and it doesn’t cost anything either.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Michael Zahaby says:

    Everybody is in their “livingroom” anymore. Flip flops and cut off shorts on airplanes; “wife beater” shirts in the Delta Sky Lounge; Italian “hoagies” with pungent onions for dinner on a fully packed airplane. Raised by wolves

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Funny!! and of course she does that at home Mr K, she represents a new generation of manners, it’s hard not to look ha 😬

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I’m still recovering from a 27 hour bus-ride. And as much as I miss home, not looking forward to the 29 hour bus-ride back, because of this kind of behavior.

    Funny, one thing flashed through my mind as I read your post. A scene from a wonderful movie from a couple of years ago. Not too meny people saw it, The Lunch Box. There was a guy cutting vegetables on a cutting board in his briefcase on the train.

    Over the years I’ve learned to hide how annoyed, disgusted, I am. But Esam and kids don’t make any effort to hide it. :/

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Olga Kanigan says:

    I could almost see your face as you watched. Laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You only described a salad and a bag of crisps and yet my stomach is churning. If either og them had been eating a Big Mac would you have said anything? And what would you have said if a drop of the oil had gone on your impeccably clean suit?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. i could not stop laughing, picturing you in the midst of all this. what i wouldn’t give to have been a fly on the wall, capturing still shots of your face as you went through this trip. your descriptions were so detailed, that it was obvious that it cut you to the bone.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This. Is. Hysterical. I could just picture the emotions moving across your face with each passing moment, DK, and was right there with you. All that would have been needed to finish me off was for one of your seat mates to start clipping his/her nails. That happened to me on a plane once. You ought to try to dodge flying pieces of nail when strapped into that little ‘box.’ I was freaked out….

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Laughing 😂..oh Dave if these young women are the Deplorables, I think we’re all going to be just fine. At least no one chewed with her mouth open…😉

    Like

  13. Deplorables eating salad & veggie chips?! 😂😂
    Thank you for the laugh (:

    NYC has taught me that the best solitude is in a crowd. In subways, LIRR and now njtransit. Perfecting the art of ignoring the other human.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ugh…eating on a train, flicking salt. And she should turn that bag over and read…not so “healthy”.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m cracking up here 😆 Love how you hooked me in and kept me there. Sitting open mouthed right along with you. Great post❣

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I wouldn’t want my clothes soiled by a snack-er! I will say that there are times that a person might have a need to eat on public transportation…being a diabetic sometimes one can just start to bottom out and the need to reach for that Stabilize bar (the Dark Chocolate Coconut Cashew Nutrition bar)

    Liked by 1 person

  17. gluten free of course & high protein & low carbs

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Oh, the cheetah-grin! I’m actually awed that it was SO predatory that the girl GOT it. Usually Gustatory Deplorables are oblivious to their environment. This one knew there was sudden death in the aisle seat.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Hahaha…great post!
    Reminds me of what I used to hear in grammar school…”Did you bring enough for everyone, Steve?”
    And also how every time I go out to eat, after I leave I always find a glop of food somewhere on my shirt. Always, no matter how careful I try to be. I wonder sometimes do people watch me, and think I must be part horse? I guess the only time I dont get food on me is when I go for Sushi, or Chinese and use the chopsticks.
    It just doesnt figure, does it?

    Liked by 1 person

  20. So well written and …hilarious! I have never in my 22 years in the US learned why so many people here think it’s okay to eat…pretty much anywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I wrote something similar about commutes into London. check it out at tootinghustle.wordpress.com
    Happy Blogging x

    Liked by 1 person

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