Day 1, 2017.
Still-wet words. Light splashed. Wow.
Sun beams pour in through the window, light splashes but does not lift this load…God, it’s so warm under these covers. How about reading, watching movies, and remaining horizontal?
10am. I need to exercise. Now! Sigh. What a state of mind on Day 1.
How about New Year’s resolutions? How about Not? You’ve long since given up on Resolutions. You know the loop. Commit. Attempt. Renege in less than 30 days. Then self-flagellate for the remaining 11 months. Who needs it? Really?
I appreciated the punch line of Try a New Year’s Revolution: “I will work toward better days for myself…May Januarys be about self-acceptance, not self-improvement.” LOVE THAT.
“May Januarys be about self-acceptance, not self improvement.” I don’t think I can do that. I don’t think I can “do” self acceptance. OMG. I’m on another doom loop. This could be harder than setting New Year’s Resolutions.
Not sure about this self-acceptance thing. Could be a psychological train wreck. I may need New Year’s Resolutions. More reading, less surfing. More greens, less sugars. More sleep, less anxiety. (How?). Fewer things, more experiences. More patience, less intolerance. Noted that my anxiety level is climbing just riffing through this list.
Thoughts, like clouds, pass quickly. Now absent and quieted. Breathing heavy now. Focus is on climbing the hillside and lifting one foot in front of the another. Yet the storm clouds of Resolutions loom, rumbling, heavy, foreboding. Need something!
In my hurry to get out the door, I did not pull on the right sock straight and even. The skin-on-crease abrasion feeds a growing blister on the large right toe. That’s it! Socks!
Over the holidays, there was a big move towards Minimalism. I cleaned out a sock drawer. Don’t laugh, this is Big. A pile up of 20+ years of accumulated socks – socks that have made moves between three cities in moving trucks. Dress socks. Casual socks. Knee highs. Over-the-Ankles. Running socks. Wick-free. Wool socks. Footies. And way overweight in black and dark blue hues. A bloody mess and beyond belief, really. Each morning, I’d open the drawer, look at this gaggle, tell myself: “I need to clean this up” – never do it – get angry at the procrastination – and do nothing about it. And then rummage around frantically among the darks for the same 3-5 favorite pairs of socks each day. Every single day for over 20 years! Crazy-land!
I gently slide open the sock drawer and light splashes all over: Wow, look at this miracle. What a load off.
So that’s it. The New Year’s Resolution is to Think Big and clean out the t-shirt drawer in 2017.
Kunitz: I can scarcely wait till tomorrow when a new life begins for me, as it does each day, as it does each day.
Me too Stanley. Me too. My favorite socks laying out right there. As they will each day, each day.