Running. And Free Fallin’.

Posted on by Live & Learn

in-the-snow-ix

Let’s take inventory.

Four Falls.
The heals of both hands scraped raw, instruments used to break each fall.
A right knee bruise. Severity? Somewhere on a continuum between Deep and below the surface. We’ll know for sure in the morning.

We are a self-correcting, self-learning being, right? Otherwise we wouldn’t be standing, breathing, and reading this, Right?

Adam, in his hunt for food for Eve and the kids, after falling face-first the first time, said, hmmmm, that didn’t feel good. That didn’t work out. Let’s not do that again.

24° F. It’s the first snow of the season and I’m prepping.

Underwear. Thermal Underwear. Thermal Socks. Thermal undershirt. Wicking overshirt. Heavy Down coat. Tuke. Gloves. Fanny Pack with bottle of water, smartphone and headphones.

I catch a glimpse of this package in the mirror before stepping into the garage. Holy Sh*t. Sasquatch.

I pull on Ugg Boots, two pound leg weights strapped on each foot. Who runs in snow in Ugg Boots? 

First fall.
A flat surface, I’m caught by surprise. An ice patch. The legs fly out. I fall heavily on left side, air gushes out of the belly, which is still jiggling. I roll on my back.  Where’s my smartphone? Right pocket please. Right.

Second fall.
A steep incline. Uggs are crampon-less. Right leg slides out. Left leg follows, and a tumble down a short embankment.  I’m covered in a mixture of snow, leaves and dirt. Camouflage. Military drills. No, more like Carl Spackler the greenskeeper on Caddyshack: “They’re like the Viet-Cong…Varmint-Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that’s all she wrote.”

Third fall.
A steep decline. My right toe, the UGG-Cap, clips a stone, the left foot desperately stretches to find a firm footing – and instead, crashes through the soft snow and lands on several inches of wet leaves. Think three meter springboard.  I’m airborne – hands are out to brace impact – lightly child, lightly – stones find the fatty flesh of the palms of both hands.

It’s the Last Mile, short of the mileage target planned for the morning run, but it’s over and I’m looping back to the car.  My head is down, my eyes are locked on the snow covered trail, hopelessly searching for protruding dangers.  Sweat spills out from under the Tuke – the rad is overheating from the heavy clothing, the heavy boots.

The Final fall.
I see the rock, a threatening hump covered in snow. I lift my right foot to clear it – I fail. You’ve got to be f**king kidding me. I crumple on the path at the entrance of the park.

“Hey, do you need some help?”

I look up, grimacing: “No thanks. I’m OK.” What kind of ass*ole can’t clear a 4″ stone. I let him pass and let the humiliation burn off before getting up.

I’m standing in the shower, steam fills the bath, and the eyes are closed…and I squeeze the right foot, the left foot, and then each leg, the arms and then the chest. Body aches feel good.

Gotta get this body rested.

We’re going at it again tomorrow.

Nap time.

10,236 steps.

Notes:

 

 

62 thoughts on “Running. And Free Fallin’.”

  1. Ouch!! Over 10k in these conditions deserves to be multiplied by at least a factor of 3. I’m off to scrape off the snow from the car in snow filled Albany NY. Steps will be in the mall today. I’m hoping it’s safer!

  2. I get it. Most of my serious running was when we lived in the Pocono Mountains in the early 90’s. Asics has yet to invent a good shoe for running on ice. BTW..as Harry Callahan would say, “A good man always knows his limitations”. Just sayin’, friend.

          1. 9.7-11.7 oz., actually. But trust me, it’s a hell of a lot easier running in these than in Uggs…. And they’ll fit in your stocking (in case Santa asks….)

          2. Another pound on each foot. Wow. I’m still not hearing an answer as to whether you ran in them. Feel like I’m being set up for a Candid Camera Moment

          3. Laughing…. Running is one form of exercise I *don’t* partake of…KILLS my knees…but I do walk briskly in the yaktrax and they’re the nuts…

  11. Here’s a thought for your Christmas gift! “A treadmill” we just bought one and the whole family is loving it. We are running as fast or slow as we need, up the hills, down the hills all with a touch of a button ha! All in the comfort of wonderful cool air conditioning during the sweltering heat! Are you getting the visual here? No falls or wounds. But then again, what a boring story my running would make? Yes, on that thought Mr K, please keep running in the snow, you def will keep us entertained during this crazy season and I love your determination and writing!! Rest well 🏋🏋

  14. I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud. Several times. Arnicare cream is good for bruises. Don’t know if it helps bruised egos….

  16. I feel sooo guilty. First, I didn’t run today and have no excuse. 78 degrees and sunny. Second, I smiled. OK, I laughed. But just so you know, it was your writing and not the various hurts.

      1. THAT was hard. Okay, I will show sympathy and say I’m happy you didn’t break the navicular bone in your hand when you braced for the fall. It’s the slowest (6+ months) healing bone in the body. Hubby fell on snow covered ice years ago and he was lucky, cast from elbow to knuckles only for 5 months.

  19. I remember running in snowshoes, back in the day. Finally settled on x/c skis, which worked, so long as there was snow and not only ice. The weather is changing; part of why we moved to Hawaii. I need to be active, but prefer cycling over battering my lower body’s joints. Hiking is great, but I still love the wind whistling by as I ride my bike, plugged into a good audiobook 😉 Aloha, David. And good luck with ‘all that.’ 😉 Happy Holidays to you!

      1. Great writing though David…as usual. Don’t watch the videos, just know that it’s horrifyingly sad. If you give up wearing Ugg boots, you’ll save a bit of suffering in the world and you’ll be guaranteed not to slip and fall. 🙂 Merry Christmas, my friend!

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