[…] Most people feel grateful some of the time — after someone saves you from a mistake or brings you food during an illness. But some people seem grateful dispositionally. They seem thankful practically all of the time. These people may have big ambitions, but they have preserved small anticipations. As most people get on in life and earn more status, they often get used to more respect and nicer treatment. But people with dispositional gratitude take nothing for granted. They take a beginner’s thrill at a word of praise, at another’s good performance or at each sunny day. These people are present-minded and hyper responsive. This kind of dispositional gratitude is worth dissecting because it induces a mentality that stands in counterbalance to the mainstream threads of our culture.[…]
Gratitude is also a form of social glue. In the capitalist economy, debt is to be repaid to the lender. But a debt of gratitude is repaid forward, to another person who also doesn’t deserve it. In this way each gift ripples outward and yokes circles of people in bonds of affection. It reminds us that a society isn’t just a contract based on mutual benefit, but an organic connection based on natural sympathy — connections that are nurtured not by self-interest but by loyalty and service.
We live in a capitalist meritocracy. This meritocracy encourages people to be self-sufficient — masters of their own fate. But people with dispositional gratitude are hyperaware of their continual dependence on others. They treasure the way they have been fashioned by parents, friends and ancestors who were in some ways their superiors. They’re glad the ideal of individual autonomy is an illusion because if they were relying on themselves they’d be much worse off. […]
If you think that human nature is good and powerful, then you go around frustrated because the perfect society has not yet been achieved. But if you go through life believing that our reason is not that great, our individual skills are not that impressive, and our goodness is severely mottled, then you’re sort of amazed life has managed to be as sweet as it is. […]
~ David Brooks, The Structure of Gratitude
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Live & Learn 
i absolutely love this. and i take nothing for granted.
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I do take too many things for granted…but I’m inching towards your high bar.
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What a great reminder of where to place my attention.
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It is…it is…
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Indeed…love button, please.
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He’s genius that Mr. Brooks. Agree.
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I was totally simpatico until the last paragraph. If you believe human nature is good and powerful, then you will seek out and find examples all around you. If you have a grateful disposition, you will FIND reasons to be grateful.
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I’m finding a way to appreciate your view and his view.
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Gratitude is the attitude. And we can be grateful no matter the circumstances.
But, society “is” a mess. It is as though it is following the wrong model. Whether one is barbaric or civilized, each who follows his paticular set of governing laws would be considered a model citizen. And if all members of both cultures are model citizens then those cultures are perfect. However, the flaw is that there is not one unique culture in which all humanity can become model citizens. For perfection is fallacy in a random world.
So long as we believe truth is subjective, perfection in humanity will not be achieved.
-Alan
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I so believe in the truth.
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One committed to a relativistic view is like a mouse who is dropped into a maze with no exit. Unknown to him is that his search for a way out is futile because there is none. He is trapped in a fruitless and purposeless endless strategic rutt of trial and error. For that is all that is left him.
Strive for ojective truth, Dave. You will then be well on your way to perfection.
-Alan
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LOVE the analogy Alan. Thank you.
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I so love this! I have been far more focused on gratitude these last few years and I swear by it.
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I’m turning up the gratitude dials. It’s workin’. It is. I’m becoming a violent believer.
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Wow. I am liking your choice of words here. Violent believer. Like that. (still nodding, by the way).
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There are so many ways to respond but I’ll bite my tongue (almost clear through)
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Please, respond…I like the ‘violent believer’ part, but that is about as much ‘violence’ as I can tolerate…
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Best not. I’ll cross the line. (Accomplished performer in this area.) Hurt feelings inadvertently. Brew about it for weeks. And ask: Self – could you really be that ignorant?
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Dispositional gratitude. Wonderful. I’m still work in progress.
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Oh, so me too…
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I think it is often too easy for us to give into frustration. If we take the time to pause, there are so many examples of good and powerful. And who said we are ever going to be perfect?
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Isn’t that the truth…
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Late to this party, pal, but no less delighted by the post. Just love the thrust of what’s being communicated. I think I’m ‘dispositionally pretty grateful’ most of the time, but as Carolann says, it can be easy to give into frustration. I’m celebrating a birthday next week, and I’m trying to get a bit wiser and more patient and more appreciative with every passing year-that is my goal. 🙂
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I know, can feel, that you are dispositionally grateful, an empathy flows from you….
As to your birthday, 39?
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Awwww, what an incredibly kind thing to say, DK, THANK YOU!! As for my birthday, *soooo* close. 40 actually….😎
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Radiating Blossom ~ Flowers & Words.
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Thank you for sharing Carol.
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Love this… 🙂
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Our life is a gift ….Gratitude must be embraced and welcomed…exercised always..
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Yes, I remind myself of this frequently.
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