Lightly child, lightly

breathe-neck-woman

How exhausting,
sometimes,
to bear not only the weight of what you are,
but also the weight of what you ought to be.

~ Stephen Sparks, No. 63


Notes:

  • Image Source: Nell Donovan via eikadan
  • Post Title & Inspiration: Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”
  • Prior “Lightly child, lightly” Posts? Connect here.

 

Comments

  1. The weight…Sisyphean. Ever-present, never lightened.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. untie it and let it float away.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So, so true. I, do,however, have moments of lucidity when I realize, “Lori, you have a choice–you can set that burden of expectations aside.” Notice that I said ‘moments’….. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ll admit that I had to look “Sisyphean” up….very nice, Mimi.

    My first thought about the poem was it portrayed the human condition. Limited to however, those that take life seriously and are doing more than just hanging out until they die.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nope. ‘Ought’ sounds too much like ‘should’. Not today, thank you. Am, are—those are the words for me. I’m going with Forrest Gump on this one:

    Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you’re gonna be?
    Forrest Gump: Who I’m gonna be?
    Jenny Curran: Yeah.
    Forrest Gump: Aren’t-aren’t I going to be me?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. At first, I thought “Yes,” then “No,” then “Exactly.”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. true…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I found it exhausting (without my even being aware of the load) as I (mostly unknowingly) fought the draw to live my dreams and follow my passions rather than to keep living in fear. The incredible weight came from fighting the flow instead of just going with it. Once I began making the decision to follow my dreams and passions, and kept making that decision anew each day, I felt a huge weight lift, much as a backpacker does in high altitudes after a long and arduous climb when they take off their backpack. But while the great feeling of backpackers is only temporary, the feeling of exhilaration and freedom by following my dreams continues. The fears are sometimes still there, but as I’ve focused my definition of success as doing what I love with those with those I love and who love me, I count myself successful almost every day.

    I’m reblogging your great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Reblogged this on A Grateful Man and commented:
    I found it exhausting (without my even being aware of the load) as I (mostly unknowingly) fought the draw to live my dreams and follow my passions rather than to keep living in fear. The incredible weight came from fighting the flow instead of just going with it. Once I began making the decision to follow my dreams and passions, and kept making that decision anew each day, I felt a huge weight lift, much as a backpacker does in high altitudes after a long and arduous climb when they take off their backpack. But while the great feeling of backpackers is only temporary, the feeling of exhilaration and freedom by following my dreams continues. The fears are sometimes still there, but as I’ve focused my definition of success as doing what I love with those with those I love and who love me, I count myself hugely successful almost every day.

    With Love,
    Russ

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi David
    I understand completely. My Lyme Disease is progressing quite fast. I know what I want, the body won’t let me. Another of lives hurdles, only one way out fight light hell and never give in to not ever doing the things you want. At 51 yrs old, I’ve had other hurdles to prepare me for this challenge.
    I hope yo doing well.
    Take care.
    M

    Like

    • I hope the Lyme Disease to progressing in its disappearance. I so agree with your statement as to “never give in to not ever doing the things you want” and the corollary to this – to not do the things you don’t want. Melinda, thanks for sharing. I have no doubt based on the hurdles you have hopped, that you are running towards light.

      Like

      • Hi David,
        I have 5 more years before getting well. I believe the hurdles I’ve jumped have prepared me for the next one. It never crossed my mind I would be so sick. It’s scary, my cognition is 50-60%. The Lyme dudes have moved in my brain. My Eye Doctor thinks they have parting to hard. He’s referred my to a Neuro eye doctor. He believes the damage is actually my brain not an eye issue. I’ll keep running towards the light until I can’t.
        Thanks for taking the time to comment.
        🙂
        M

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Seriously.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Let it go it will be your undoing. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Love this David. We are our own worst enemy at times. ❤
    Diana xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Diana, and might add, our only true enemy.

      “But the worst enemy you can encounter will always be you, yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caves and woods.”

      ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

      Liked by 2 people

  14. I once had the opportunity to view my own personal greatness as a being and I was for a moment elated beyond anything I have ever felt before and just as quickly I panicked for I realized that people would expect this of me all the time. Suddenly the idea of another’s expectation robbed me of my own personal discovery and I didn’t want to be great any more. It seemed like it was no longer MY self discovery.

    I have since then learned how to appreciate myself without fear and I am able to expand on that glimpse I had of ME. I found that surrounding myself with people who believed in me without expectation was most beneficial. Like minded people embraced the concept of open vistas. People who squash and negate were quickly identified and distance was created.

    I learned how to be my own advisor and do my own searching so that I could make confident choices without feeling the need to gain someone’s approval first.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mrs. P., I haven’t reached this state of enlightenment that you have found. I’m still searching. But you inspire me…

      Liked by 1 person

      • You have heard the expression, “Do the things you love.” that is the way. Follow your passions and you will begin to feel what I feel. It’s a process and requires being deliberate in letting go of your fears and inhibitions (self doubts) in the beginning but once you get moving along, gaining momentum…its a rocket ride and its a blast.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. I once had the opportunity to view my own personal greatness as a being and I was for a moment elated beyond anything I have ever felt before and just as quickly I panicked for I realized that people would expect this of me all the time. Suddenly the idea of another’s expectation robbed me of my own personal discovery and I didn’t want to be great any more. It seemed like it was no longer MY self discovery.

    I have since then learned how to appreciate myself without fear and I am able to expand on that glimpse I had of ME. I found that surrounding myself with people who believed in me without expectation was most beneficial. Like minded people embraced the concept of open vistas. People who squash and negate were quickly identified and distance was created.

    I learned how to be my own advisor and do my own searching so that I could make confident choices without feeling the need to gain someone’s approval first.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mrs. P, this lingered for some time: “I found that surrounding myself with people who believed in me without expectation was most beneficial.” Thank you for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • During my greatest moment of failure and a sixth month transition in life, I had an aunt that I had only recently come to know who was so positive and validating and reassuring in her heart, not her words (she said very little beyond knowing that when the time was right I’d be on my feet) that it literally gave me the strength to want to succeed. And when the time came, I succeeded in a big way…a permanent way.

        I have met many people since then who believe in me and support me in the same way. I learned so much from my aunt’s actions and I have worked to emulate them with people I know and care about…pretty powerful stuff – believing in another. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Christie says:

    If a person listens to what others say when they give their ‘helpful’ unsolicited, judgmental 2 cents worth – it can leave you with an inner turmoil that could lead to defeat.. listening as a support is what is needed as opposed to listening & replying in a way that adds to another’s burden. ..We all have are own inner compass, hope, dreams …we know internally when we don’t live up to our own potential. it is a difficult position to be in. Thankfully, another day, breaks and we have an opportunity to work toward an equilibrium within our sense of self… I personally so remember the teachers & school administrator telling me you are not living up to your potential – I knew they were correct but they didn’t know what I was dealing with personally & how far I’d come So I figured that in order to survive the away from school difficulties while preserving a sense of self – I’d set aside the need for top potential as a teenager. I excelled more than enough to get great grades,(rec’d some scholarships for university) participated in many activities, work dated, had hobbies & had many responsibilities for a person my age. Life is full of opportunity, responsibility & choices; the choices that are made sometimes are impacted by the needs of others. I learned the meaning of yield and developed much patience & Kindness. I learned that not everyone peaks when they are younger than 25. Who I ought to be involves free-will, peppered with determination, God given talent, helpful people in my path & a destiny that continually unfolds….the echoes of the past taught me much….I am a work -in-progress and I continue to grow…who I ought to be is who I am…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Listening is key, I absolutely agree. Too many people don’t listen and advise when listening would help more. I still work on this one, daily!

      Sorry to hear about the teacher’s saying you weren’t working to your potential. My husband experienced a similar more derogatory statement that affected him greatly. I have heard several successful people wanting to go back to these teachers and say…see look at me know.

      Yielding…a big one for me. As I surrounded myself with people who believed in me, I found this aspect of yielding came in more comfortably and naturally.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. There is so much here that you have shared. Truth and wisdom Christie. I particularly lingered on:

    “I learned the meaning of yield” – and “I am a work-in-progress”

    I need more o the former and I totally the later.

    Thanks so much.

    Dave

    Like

  18. Christie says:

    Yes, Mrs P’s” is enlightening 🙂 & I agree with her statements…Suddenly the idea of another’s expectation robbed me of my own personal discovery ” “People who squash and negate were quickly identified and distance was created”. “people who believed in me without expectation” I do think that for me there have been times though, when you can id those negative people & given certain circumstances – perhaps someone you work with or they are on the edge of your social circle and you can’t totally distance yourself so you have to breath deep, take B vitamins to combat the stress, excuse yourself to go to the restroom just to get a moment of distance & hopefully have time to fit in a walk once you get home….. “Like minded people embraced the concept of open vistas.” “”people who believed in me without expectation” < Like minded people do accept & offer a community where respect , warmth and creativity can flourish. The Bible address the importance & need for being with like minded people, too…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Agreed that their are times when one can only maintain a situation when surrounded by non-supporters. I laughed at your B vitamins comment as I had to do this many times in the past. Both work and social circles are things that can be changed, family members can be more difficult. You are only trapped as long as you decide that there is nothing that can be done about it. I met an upstanding man while doing a parent/teacher conference who fell into tears because he hated his job that he had been at for twenty years. He was too afraid to change, too afraid that he couldn’t get another job. It made me cry, too. No one should have to live a life of misery because one is afraid to change. It is fear that breaks people, not change.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Christie says:

    Dave, thank you. Three, most important ingredient that I should have mentioned in my personal statement response above, are giving of oneself freely, being sensitive & being true to my own integrity…oh, the gift of pain & fear did happen with me and it taught me much…I became strong & compassionate. . Everything that happens on a sub conscious and conscious level gets filtered into our body…the ramifications of which can be negative or positive..a person can overcome the negative..

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Oh, the guilt that can be conjured with the words “ought” and “should”. I am one of the fortunate ones who is in the position to pursue my heart’s desire, but not eveyone is. That is a fact of life. Food for thought. Btw, Diana sent me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Christie says:

    Mrs. P, thank you 🙂

    Like

  22. It’s so easy to say who we are is who we want to be — and also a floor with a trap door. What we want to be always changes. One moment we know what we want — the next moment we are there. And then we are not. It’s so easy to stand steadfast on that trap door and still have the trap door open. Our only hope is that who is are is close to who we want to be.

    Liked by 1 person

Trackbacks

  1. […] Lightly child, lightly by Live & Learn […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: