NS: Name?
DK: David K-A-N-I-G-A-N. No middle initial. (Here we go again.)
NS: Height?
DK: 6’1″.
NS: Weight?
DK: (Pause)
NS: (Smiling) We can weigh you when we get inside.
DK: Today or this month’s average?
NS: Today.
DK: 208. (She doesn’t know that you’re up 10. Why avert your eyes you coward?)
NS: Name of GP?
DK: (Pause) Don’t have one.
NS: Don’t have a GP?
DK: It’s been a while.
NS: Date of last physical?
DK: (Pause) Don’t remember. (She steals a glance at my ID. Checking DOB.)
NS: Blood type?
DK: No idea.
NS: (Staring eye-ball-to-eyeball now)
NS: Blood pressure? Or should I guess: “Don’t know.”
DK: (Shoulder Shrug. Silence)
NS: On any medication?
DK: None prescribed.
NS: Any medication at all?
DK: Periodic doses of Tylenol PM, Advil PM and Nyquil PM.
NS: Periodic?
DK: I rotate to avoid addiction.
NS: Are you kidding?
DK: (Silence)
NS: Any health issues?
DK: (She looks up. Has the look of “he has to know this one”). Foot.
NS: And?
DK: Hemagoma.
NS: A what?
DK: Hemagoma.
NS: (She snorts. And rushes to cover her mouth with her hand.) You mean hemangioma?
DK: (Silence. Awww, for God’s Sake. Does the humiliation ever end? I was close enough.)
NS: You’re here because of that?
DK: You asked me if I had any health issues.
NS: Anything else? (Still laughing)
DK: Your empathy is remarkable. (Her face is crimson. She grabs her stomach. I’m laughing.)
NS: No Sir. We’re good. (She’s chokes trying to swallow her laugh.)
NS: Grab a seat. The Doctor will be right with you. (She steps away and heads to the restroom.)
DK: (I turn to find a seat and note the other patients grinning at me. IS THERE NO MERCY?)
Whooah, we’re half way there
We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got
Livin’ on a prayer
Image Source: Weheartit.com. Lyrics Quotes: Bon Jovi – Livin’ on a Prayer
Live & Learn 
Haha, oh wait, am I aloud to laugh? Cher xo
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Pile on Cher. 🙂
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*LOL* Um, I mean, awh. 😦 😉 Cher xo
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I’m laughing WITH you, not at you, my friend. While the specifics are different, I related too well to such a conversation.
Russ
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Laughing now too Russ. Glad to hear I’m not alone!
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it could be me..I am just as blank as you 🙂 except when I had to get Gall bladder out..I came to know my blood pressure and blood type :)) we live and we learn
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Smiling. Welcome back friend. We do Live and we do Learn. (You are so quick…love it)
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thank you 🙂
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We have that in common to. Not the med part, if you saw one of my first post, my desk was covered in pills bottles. Whatever gets you out of bed and funtioning. I want her leg, no both legs, no her body, YES. 🙂
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Laughing. Leg. Body. Skin. Yes, all of it.
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This is no laughing matter, pal. Those hemagomas can be a bitch! 😉
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Very funny.
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In the end, it was. You can’t make this stuff up.
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the not so delicate dance between the patient and the doctor.
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Smiling. And his nurse and admin staff.
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Okay. I had to look it up. A strawberry mark?
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A bit bigger than that. Between a large blood blister and large callus.
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Eeeuuwwww.
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And yet more empathy! 🙂
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Ok this is disturbing…and?? And??? AND????? what did the dr say? Are you ok? After all the real news is that you went to a doctor..
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We live to fight another day. And you’ll have to endure a continued avalanche of shares.
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I can handle it – I’ve yet to be overwhelmed by shares.
I have a benign hemangioma on my liver…it’s been hanging out there for years minding its business and making no trouble (which is the only requirement I have placed upon it in order to take up occupancy).
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On your liver, wow. I WILL stop complaining…
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Honestly, I forget it’s there – it doesn’t do anything. The biopsy (maybe ten or more years ago?) was awful. But the results? I’ll take ‘benign’ and ‘nothing’ any day of the week.
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Yes. Agree.
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I have no idea what my blood type is. It’s not something I talk about at parties.
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Nor do I. Even after I’m told, it flies right out the door.
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I am always upset when Health workers do not respect our privacy. Whenever I go to the doctor’s, the nurse or RNA always asks me what I am there for–and if I feel it is none of their business I make up something unembarrassing like my elbow hurts or something then tell the doctor the nature of the real problem when he comes in.
David, I also have no middle initial. I used to be upset that I had no middle name and told my grade one teacher that my first name was Lou and my second name was Ann. I told my mom and she made me go back the next day and tell the teacher that I had no middle name. I have solved that by taking on my husband’s last name with mine–so now I have three names!
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Smiling throughout your comment LouAnn. So with you! And on middle name, for a time, I actually plugged a middle name when folks asked me – and then I gave that up and just got gnarly when the question came up. Thanks for sharing. Love your 3 names. We’re going with it.
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cannot imagine you gnarly–but that is such a good word
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Reblogged this on THE STRATEGIC LEARNER and commented:
Kanigan illustrates the reason why customer service training and an emphasis on empathy over bureaucratic nonsense are still desperately needed … had this been me, EMS would be involved, because I would have hurt that woman.
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Smiling. Thanks for sharing John.
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OMG…it’s your fault that I am laughing now…the way you write. Lol! And…”Tylenol PM, Advil PM and Nyquil PM.” Are those so that you can sleep??? If so, I know of an herbal sleep aid that is non-addicting…which works for me. Anyway, hope you’re okay.
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Laughing. Full stop. (And as to your herbal sleep aid, come on. Really? I’m going to eat grass and fall asleep? You Psychological majors. Always working the next project (me).
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Just trying to get you to see the light… lol.
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Oh, I get that. Completely.
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Being in the health industry I am surprised she asked such questions when others could hear. Certainly sounds like a HIPAA violation to me 🙂
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🙂 All worked out in the end…
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