Mondays, Miracles & Musings

~ Live & Learn

Boy-That-Escalated-Quickly-Anchorman

You wake up and body parts are functioning.
Turn the key in the ignition and all systems are go.
Until they don’t.
Two eyes on Sunday.
1.5 on Monday.
Painfully nagging recurring eye disorder. Detailed here.
Blurred vision. Tear ducts flowing.
Nasal passages oozing goop.
Nausea rolling tummy.
Hip bone connected to the thigh bone.
Thigh bone connected to every bloody thing.
And as for Helen Fielding in Bridget Jones’s Diary and for me:

Once get on tack of thinking about aging there is no escape. Life suddenly seems like a holiday where, halfway through, everything starts accelerating to the end.

“Boy, that accelerated quickly.”

Which led me to thinking about Einstein and miracles.
I’m driving from the office to the Ophthalmologist.
And those of you scolding me about driving with impaired vision, one of my working eyes is better than most of the maniacs with two working eyes on the road today. So relax…

Sorry for the detour. (Violent mood swings are not due to medication. Rachel describes it as in the DNA.)
Back to miracles.

1,000 cars pass me on I-95N. Not one piles into me. Miracle.

Ophthalmologist pokes and prods. He fails to drive his pokey stick through my eye into my skull. Miracle.

He drips drops to magnify the damaged area for inspection. Chemicals don’t fry cornea. Miracle.

Pharmacist reads prescription, is focused, isn’t having a bad day, and avoids dropping sulfuric acid or hemorrhoid cream into my gel tube. Miracle.

I gasp at the price for the prescription. $268 for a tube half the size of my pinky. Did I lose sight in both eyes? I leave Walgreen’s without violent conduct. Miracle.

I’m standing in front of the mirror. Left hand is pulling down left eye lid. Right hand trembling.  Worried about squeezing out too much gold dust, it hitting my forehead and blowing through $100 worth of excess lube (which like toothpaste, can’t be squeezed back in.) I hit the groove like a dart on bulls eye.  Miracle.

I’m laying in bed, eyes closed, laying perfecting still, waiting for this precious pixie dust to symmetrically distribute itself in my eye socket, and work its magic all night.  I’m floating in anxiety, in delirium, pondering the morning outcome, yet manage to fall asleep. Miracle.

I wake up this morning at 4:30 am. My usual start time. (Not a miracle)

And…

There are some things money can’t buy.
And this morning, I saw light, no pain,
and we had two functioning eyeballs.

TobraDex. $268.

Priceless.

Notes: Image Source –  gifrific. Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) saying “boy, that escalated quickly” during a scene in the 2004 film Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

39 thoughts on “Mondays, Miracles & Musings”

  1. Yay so good! That is a great outcome for you. (well,.. an expensive outcome) Miracles do happen everyday. We just forget to look for them. Your writing reminds us how simple a miracle can be. How precious our health is. And a little reminder…..Just because you are getting better, doesn’t mean you can stop practising stillness ha. 🙂

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  3. Arguably a bit early for me to be doing my happy dance – the dogs watching but disinlined to participate – they just shake their heads. I am SO happy – and these days THAT’s a miracle.

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  5. Oh, oh so happy for you, pal!! I had a minor health incident last week (nothing compared to the ‘cinder in your eye,’ but it ABSOLUTELY made me appreciate how precious good health is. Hope you continue on the path to recovery, straight as an arrow…

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  8. Love your personal writings–sad though that you were suffering–glad now that you are better. Thank you for pointing out the small everyday miracles–must keep this in mind next time I go to the dentist and he does not drill to China…..

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      1. I know…I’ve been missing “hanging out” with you, the end of the academic year kicks my butt! Things are beginning to quiet and settle in to summer mode now. It’s good to be “back”. 🙂

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