avenoir

Posted on by Live & Learn

avenoir – n. the desire that memory could flow backward

We take it for granted that life moves forward. But you move as a rower moves, facing backwards—you can see where you’ve been, but not where you’re going. And your boat is steered by a younger version of you. It’s hard not to wonder what life would be like facing the other way…

Source: John Koenig: The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

23 thoughts on “avenoir”

  5. i love the word, but don’t want to know ahead of time, i prefer for it to unfold in it’s own time and the order – i am fascinated by the concept of moving back and forth through time, and our presence in it, so i loved the video.

    1. Yes Beth. I’m aligned squarely with you. I did find myself yearning for exactly what we have today, rather than wanting something different. Gratitude for Present, for Now.

    2. and for some reason your comment (and your love for children) triggered a memory of this:

      Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you.

      ~ Pablo Casals, You Are a Marvel

      1. thank you so much for sharing this, dk. the last three lines are what every child needs to hear and to know to be true, the rest will take care of itself with practice. i love this.

  6. Autumn is a time of reflection for me, and I take it as a duty to myself. I once lost a dear friend and did not attempt to grieve because of the pain it brought. Months and then years later, I could not put the pain associated with that dear person’s memory behind me because the agony had grown so terrible. Years later, I had to find a way to grieve so I could let the pain of loss finally pass. So, look to the future, but remember to not avoid the pain because it will become a sea anchor that will always drag you back no matter how hard you row.

    1. Thanks for sharing Dan. You took me along with you with your grief. Your thoughtful and poignant comment reminded me of a passage I just read:

      Who knows what tragedies these happy tourists left behind at home? Into every life crap will fall. Most of us do as well as possible, and some of it works okay, and we try to release that which doesn’t and which is never going to. … Making so much of it work is the grace of it; and not being able to make it work is double grace. Grace squared. Their somehow grounded buoyancy is infectious, so much better than detached martyrdom, which is disgusting.

      ~ Anne Lamott, “Prelude: Victory Lap” from Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace.

  8. Really makes you think, David. Thank you for sharing. It inspired me to write a story for Thanksgiving and include John’s quote and video. 🙂

      1. Me, too, David, glad to write my story and for your inspiration. Your words were lovely and thought provoking. I liked it and am happy I found you. I look forward to more of your perspectives.

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