[…] By any reasonable standard, I have won life’s lottery. I grew up with two loving parents in a peaceful house. I’ve spent my whole career doing work that thrills me—writing for newspapers and magazines. I married the best woman I’ve ever known, Alix Felsing, and I love her more now than when my heart first tumbled for her. We’re blessed with strong families and a deep bench of friends. Our lives are full of music and laughter. I wouldn’t swap with anyone.
Except on those mornings when I wake up and take a long, naked look in the mirror. […]
I weigh 460 pounds.Those are the hardest words I’ve ever had to write. Nobody knows that number—not my wife, not my doctor, not my closest friends. It feels like confessing a crime. The average American male weighs about 195 pounds; I’m two of those guys, with a 10-year-old left over. I’m the biggest human being most people who know me have ever met, or ever will. […]
What the hell is wrong with me? […]
“Eat less and exercise.”That’s what some of you are saying right now. That’s what some of you have said the whole time you’ve been reading. That’s what some of you say—maybe not out loud, but you say it—every time you see a fat person downing fried eggs in a diner, or overstuffing a bathing suit on the beach, or staring out from one of those good-lord-what-happened-to-her? stories in the gossip magazines.“Eat less and exercise.” […]
Losing weight is a fucking rock fight. The enemies come from all sides: The deluge of marketing telling us to eat worse and eat more. The culture that has turned food into one of the last acceptable vices. Our families and friends, who want us to share in their pleasure. Our own body chemistry, dragging us back to the table out of fear that we’ll starve.
On top of all that, some of us fight holes in our souls that a boxcar of donuts couldn’t fill.
My compulsion to eat comes from all those places. I’m almost never hungry in the physical sense. But I’m always craving an emotional high, the kind that comes from making love, or being in the crowd for great live music, or watching the sun come up over the ocean. And I’m always wanting something to counter the low, when I’m anxious about work or arguing with family or depressed for reasons I can’t understand. […]
There’s a flight I want the man inside me to take. It doesn’t matter where it goes, as long as I’m in the middle seat. I want to sit there without flooding the banks of the armrests. I want the seat belt to click around my waist with an inch or two to spare. After that, I can bitch about the middle seat like everybody else. But I’d like to sit there and feel good about it. Just once.
— Tommy Tomlinson, from “My 460-pound Self” (The Atlantic, January 10, 2019). This article has been adapted from Tommy Tomlinson’s book: “The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America.”
What a challenge!
Yes!
my heart goes out to Tommy. He might not be a small man but he is a great (dare I say big?) writer! I literally felt my body swell over the separators in a plane, my belly hurt with a belt just a notch too tight, and who doesn‘t know the feeling of ‚I need to stuff my mouth with something good‘ when in a mental crisis? Be honest…. we all do.
And he obviously has a lovely happy family (with the usual crap of every family), so why wouldn‘t he love to share food and drinks with them, friends, neighbours, etc.? It‘s all so understandable. I feel for him….
And he surely, like so many of us well doing humans, has an illness called obesity…. it IS an illness, some get it, many don‘t. (apart from all the ‚sick‘ food, the terribly oversugared drinks of course) – I don‘t know his book but I already know that it surely is very well written.
I had exactly the same reaction. He’s an inspiration. And what an amazing writer!
Thanks fir sharing this! Are you reading the book as well?
It’s in my cue Sharon! Hugely impressive Amazon client ratings!
He got YOU at Krispy Kreme, Eh?
1000%.
what inspiring words and a natural writer. he has strengths he doesn’t even realize yet.
So agree Beth!
He has an eating disorder which he truly needs help for. Being honest I fat shame people, the only thing I cn think of that would cause it is that my mother was very obese. It’s one of the flaws if you will I’m working on. It’s so hard not to judge. 🙂
Eating disorder, genetics, environment, Melinda I think its all very complicated. And I think we all judge something, a very human condition.
Eating disorders are very complex and require professional help to turn the corner permanently. I seem to juge more now that I’m older, it not me saying I’m better than you, it just that instant label and that can be very deceiving.
Agree!
Tommy’s writing has you there with him. Great read, hope he can find a way through.
Exactly my sentiment. Yes. Me too.
Sounds like a powerful read, written from the heart. Going into my queue as well….☺️
🙂
Wow.
Right! Happy Holidays Bela!
💕And to you and yours, David!