When there are discrepancies between expectations and reality, all kinds of distress signals go off in the brain. It doesn’t matter if it’s a holiday ritual or more mundane habit like how you tie your shoes; if you can’t do it the way you normally do it, you’re biologically engineered to get upset. This in part explains people’s grief and longing for the routines that were the background melodies of their lives before the pandemic — and also their sense of unease as we enter a holiday season unlike any other. The good news is that much of what we miss about our routines and customs, and what makes them beneficial to us as a species, has more to do with their comforting regularity than the actual behaviors. The key to coping during this, or any, time of upheaval is to quickly establish new routines so that, even if the world is uncertain, there are still things you can count on…
Routines, rituals and habits arise from the primitive part of our brains telling us, “Keep doing what you’ve been doing, because you did it before, and you didn’t die.”
…So the unvarying way you shower and shave in the morning, how you always queue up for a latte before work and put your latte to the left of your laptop before checking your email are all essentially subconscious efforts to make your world more predictable, orderly and safe…
…Our brains are literally overburdened with all the uncertainty caused by the pandemic. Not only is there the seeming capriciousness of the virus, but we no longer have the routines that served as the familiar scaffolding of our lives. Things we had already figured out and relegated to the brain’s autopilot function — going to work, visiting the gym, taking the kids to school, meeting friends for dinner, grocery shopping — now require serious thought and risk analysis…
But it’s mundane routines that give us structure to help us pare things down and better navigate the world, which helps us make sense of things and feel that life has meaning…
The truth is that you cannot control what happens in life. But you can create a routine that gives your life a predictable rhythm and secure mooring….
— Kate Murphy, from “Pandemic-Proof Your Habits” (NY Times, November 28, 2020)
Note:
- My Morning Walk to Cove Island Park. 224 days consecutive days.
- Photo: Daybreak. December 13, 2020. 6:53 am. 47° F. Cove Island Park, Stamford CT
Live & Learn 
..as I join you, being up at an ungodly hour….pondering the loss of routine and the fact my administrative assistant came down with symptoms over the weekend and is being tested today. I’m getting too old for this stuff.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yep. Me too Ray. Me too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
that is so spot on, and you are living it with your morning walks and missives
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s it Beth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This resonates deeply, pal. My dogs have helped to keep me grounded and engaged in these deeply distressing and unmoored months. They remain affectionate and loving no matter the day or actions of the world outside our doors. They are wed to their routine and thus so am I. Meals, walks, frisbee time…all happen with the regularity of a Swiss watch. Exercise has also been my savior, as your walks have been for you. Up every morning, workout to complete come what may. Must maintain some constants in these continuously shifting times or deep distress threatens to engulf me.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Sounds amazing. Dogs and your routine…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing this. So many people struggling these days. Daily routine is a godsend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agree Sharon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m willing to change my routine at any time to have maybe one or two hours of reading in bed every morning…. (and I go on dreaming). 😉
well expressed – we ARE herd animals in that respect. Routines keep us going.
Have a good one.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Agree Kiki. You too….
LikeLike
We adapt and adjust all the time – perhaps it comes with age, the knowledge that all of the routine is hardly that which is essential. The photos you take, the sound of the house when the kids are home, the cardinal hanging out at the bird feeder. The routines offer a way to tell time; there’s something to be said for tossing the clock out the window….
LikeLiked by 1 person
“perhaps it comes with age”…
Despite Covid-19, Older People Are Still Happier
Aging usually brings greater calm and contentment. New research shows that’s still true in 2020, even though there is more coronavirus risk for the elderly.
“As we get older we get slower, creakier and stiffer—and a lot happier. This might seem surprising, but it’s one of the most robust results in psychology, and it’s true regardless of income, class or culture. In our 70s and 80s, we are happier than when we were strong and beautiful 20-year-olds.
There are a couple of theories about why this is. We may get better at avoiding stressful situations—we figure out how to dodge that tense work meeting or family squabble. Or there may be something about aging that makes it easier to tolerate stress, even when we can’t avoid it….”
https://www.wsj.com/articles/despite-covid-19-older-people-are-still-happier-11607694788
LikeLiked by 2 people
Something to look forward to in the aging process…😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok you find these quotes, faster than humanly possible…how do you do that?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just happened to read the article…coincidence.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Um…not buyin’ it – you do this regularly and it blows.my.mind…
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was a great read, dk!
I am not a creature of habit but I’m passionate about mindful routine, controlled routine. I don’t want my days, or life, to feel like my weight pulling me down a slide. I want to walk the steps, mindfully.
I think that since that instant I give birth the first time, 24 years ago, something happened and I can easily walk around my “routine” without feeling stressed.
I know that at my core there are things I do on any given day, at a specific time, like my heart beat, voluntary. But they are rare! And those little things are like the hanger I put the coat/dress that is my day on. They are very few, and must be strategically positioned to hold it well.
244 days at the gate of night into day, wow! Thank you for being here.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Such an inspiring and hopeful comment! I’m impressed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I meant, there. Thank you for being there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
laughing
LikeLiked by 1 person
😝
LikeLike
three cheers for routines! Have you made plans for how to keep your streak going with the potential snowstorm later this week?
LikeLike
1 day at a time Jim. Let’s see how bad it gets! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, you’re going!
LikeLiked by 2 people
the timing may work well if most of the snow is over night…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll give you a live report!
LikeLiked by 1 person
the weather might make for some interesting photos!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m with Jim and Sawsan…I predict you’ll be up and out regardless of what the storm may bring, and capturing some gorgeous photos in the midst of it all. I must confess, I am *green* with envy that you all are getting a big snowstorm. Oh what I wouldn’t give to snuggle in by the fire, some yummy fragrance wafting from the crockpot, the dogs sonorous snores offering a wonderful soundtrack to accompany the storm. Sigh…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Gees. What an amazing picture you paint. Wonderful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
you make a snowstorm sound so romantic 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Honestly, they are among my favorite things. I just love being socked in by a massive snow….
LikeLiked by 2 people
I used to love being locked down by a big snowstorm, but these days I no longer enjoy the clean-up afterward 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
My husband is right there with you, Jim. That’s why our address is now in Florida rather then New Hampshire….😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
that must have been a big change. we are planning the same type of move in a few years…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was. Nice in many ways, but would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the seasons and the feel of New England….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sure we will miss the seasons as well, but we can always go back and experience them, and then return to the warmth 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You sound *exactly* like my hubby, Jim. He’s all about a long weekend in New England followed by a swift trip back to the Sunshine Coast. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
he does sound like my kind of guy 🙂
LikeLike
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
Pandemic chaos – all has changed!! … “The truth is that you cannot control what happens in life. But you can create a routine that gives your life a predictable rhythm and secure mooring … Kate Murphy, from “Pandemic-Proof Your Habits” (NY Times, November 28, 2020).”
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know your intention with your daily walks and photo sharing David ( that would kind of be like saying I can read your mind – though on a different level — your heart shows through everything you post – and that is a beautiful thing to see and read)
Anyway…
I do know that what you’ve created for me is a space to come and be inspired. You’ve created a place where I know, whenever I visit, I will see and read something that will spark my curiosity, imagination, sense of wonder.
And, a place where I feel connected – to you, your readers and all that everyone shares.
And that my friend is an amazing gift. Not only during these times of Covid, but every day, through all kinds of weather and times.
Because, ultimately, you’ve created a place where the frontal lobes awaken and the amygdala rests quietly in peaceful slumber.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wonderful. Thanks so much for sharing Louise. Appreciate you very much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sound advice here❣️
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve always known you are a man of commitment…
thank you for this day’s & many other RX of peace-filled beauty…eyes gifted, breath forward, soul enriched…keep walking, breathing, sharing and drinking in life’s amazing gifts…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
this particular photo is in my top 10 of DK’s visions….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awwww, thank you Christie.
LikeLike