Driving I-95 S & N. Money For Nothing.

Hasn’t happened. Ever.
50+ years.
Not a single time.

I’m stuck on I-95 S. Frustrated. I was up early, planned to be ahead of the morning rush, way ahead, and now, here I sit. Nasty traffic, snarled. Waze signals delays, and more delays.

Need a mind set shift. I type Dire Straits in search box. Because dire it is. That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it / Money for nothin,’ and chicks for free.

Nothing for Free. Stupidity is expensive.

Traffic is at a dead stop. I grab my briefcase from the backseat and rummage through it again. Nothing. What makes you think it will be there. You went through it twice at home. And your Suit jacket from yesterday and the day before. And your pant pockets, from three days. And the hamper. And the floor in the closet. And your other bag. And the kitchen counter. And the car. The trunk. The glove box. Under all seats, and between seats. And the side pockets. A sweat droplet glides down your back, your forehead glistens.  55° F and you’ve just about had it for the day. 

I inch forward in traffic.

I call the office: “Could you please check under my desk? In my drawers? Call lost and found? Call the restaurant hosting the work dinner Tuesday Night?”

I call home: “Could you check my Suit pockets again please? My desk drawer? My other bag? Under the cushions on the couch? The drawer in the night stand? The floor under the nightstand?”

I’m sure with two different sets of eyes, they will find it. I’m sure.

I sit in the cabin, in traffic, in silence, and wait. Nick Flynn: “We are made of waiting –…”

Traffic inches forward.  WTH. Is everyone in the State of Connecticut parked on I-95?

Both calls come back. Nothing.

I’m sitting in my first morning meeting. Mind is gone, Away. Replaying the last 2 days, hour by hour. Or was it three days ago? Forgetting many things of late. A harbinger of things to come?


3 credit cards. Need to report lost. Or STOLEN.

Drivers license. DMV lines. And interminable delays.

GREEN CARD. Try to replace that.

Building Access Cards. Proof of insurance. ~$50 cash. The least of my worries. I’m flying next week, need to cancel? Bring Canadian passport as ID? But without Green Card, may be sent back? To where? Interrogated? Held in detention?

I leave the office early. Walk out of the building. Search the car again. Trunk. Under all seats. Console. Glove box. Side pockets. Nothing. Take one last glance around, admire how clean the car is. OMG, I’m all over the place.

It’s a quick drive home, giving me more time – – all bloody afternoon to Search. Or, start the phone calls to Cancel and Replace. Or head to the DMV, The Department of Motor Vehicles, on a late Friday afternoon. Could you possibly think of any thing worse to kick-off your weekend?

I pull into the driveway. I go through the car again. And scan the garage floor. And all of the counters. And my other bag. And the hamper. And the floor in the closet. And the shelves. And the night stand. And the bathroom. And the tub. The tub? Desperate now.   

I collapse into the chair. Close my eyes. Wiggle my toes. Unlace my lace ups. Lean back again. Slowly undo my shirt buttons. Lean back again.


I get up, and head for the closet. And now, deliberately, pull one suit out, and check the jacket pockets, and then the pant pockets.

And then, the next.

And then, the next.

And then, the next, towards the back of the row.

And then, my fingers touch a Solid. Goosebumps. I wrap my fingers around the Solid, and grip it through the fabric. Good God. Here it is.

I clutch it to my chest, and hold it tightly there for a moment, its imprint warming my chest.

Money for Nothing. Cards and ID, not for free.


  1. the power and the heart-pounding terror that these hold over us, is hard to describe and you’ve done it so well here. I tend to find things only after I’ve totally surrendered it to the universe and have given up. prior to that, I go through all of the stages of grief as you did here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laughing. Yes! “Heart pounding. Terror. The hold over us.” It was exactly as you describe, paralyzed. And yet, how bad could it have really been. Oh, the Human Mind, My Mind. Terrorizing me yet again. Your comment reminds me of:

      tune in
      thin the walls that separate you from yourself
      find that one question
      answer it
      if you can
      plan to spend your whole life
      not only the hardships you have endured
      but also
      the terror others have lived through
      because of you

      — Staceyann Chin, from “One Question,” Crossfire: A Litany for Survival

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Breath, David. Breath. So, what is the back story? How was your wallet able to avoid detection? Another reason to get a dog. It’s almost impossible to lose things if you have a dog. I don’t know why, but it’s true. I read an article on the Internet . . .

    Liked by 2 people

    • Laughing. Haste makes waste. Rushing. It was one suit jacket over. Assumption made that last three days of jackets would have been in sequential order from right to left. Bad assumption.


  3. That was so real, I was getting anxious, thank goodness you found it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The intensity of hope and the hope of intense determination – good on ya…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Heart pounding, acrid taste in the back of the throat, self-berating tape playing in a loop, oh yeah, know that feeling. My hubby has started misplacing things lately, something he NEVER used to do (still haven’t found the second set of keys to the VW). Solution? I bought a packet of Tiles and affixed them to everything…one on each key fob, one in his wallet, you get the idea…. So glad your story had a happy ending, pal. Think you’ve earned a weekend of napping…😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ahhh, been there and done that. Will probably happen again. Glad you found it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. In all that searching…you didn’t, per chance, find my car keys…?

    Liked by 2 people

  8. 1 time in 50 years! Consider yourself lucky. I’m always looking for something, always.

    “Interrogation and detention”, you’re Canadian for crying outloud!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You were lucky! I went through that last summer and to this day I don’t know who is driving around using my driver’s licence. I had to get a new one. But I know your panic! Glad you found your “stuff.”

    Liked by 1 person

  10. so glad you found before all thae hassle and potential problems. You were a lucky man that day!


  11. Oh that feeling of dread is the worst. Somehow, while reading this, I was quasi-positive there would be a happy ending. Still, you put us through the wringer with you!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Glad you found your misplaced wallet…my three thoughts were check the freezer next to the
    Talenti Mint Chocolate Chip Gelato, or the grocery bag… if not there then a quick call to Palmer’s Market. (who probably would have called you immediately)…

    Liked by 2 people

  13. The photo of the wallet was a clue but oh, the suspense. A happy ending!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Oh to be free from attachment! To sit not knowing, not craving, or wanting. To sit without possession and still feel immensely full…..Well that’s the goal ha! A great capture of exactly what happens when we lose anything! So good when we find it again. 👏😉

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Vera Kanigan says:

    Glad you found it, Dave! So well written! It’s happened to us a lot of times. I’ve even prayed at times…Thanks for the post.


  16. oh my…. what a terrifying story. One I know so well, actually, it’s the story of HH’s life!!!! I still have that acrid feeling in MY mouth and my heart is still beating like what a marathon runner must feel after the 42km. Only, you found it – praise heavens for that. In Hero Husband’s case it’s ME who is always finding his stuff – because I go back like a detective minute by minute over his last days, minutes, places, etc.
    Only, when I ask him innocently, ‘have you looked in the freezer, the breadbox and behind the radiators?’, he gets kind of nasty…. When I just would like to help him! 😉
    So well told, my friend – and I AM glad you found your precious docs. Getting your green card ‘back’ in a short time….. THAT is the stuff nightmares are made of!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I have lost things like this before. Recovered and recovered and recovered the ground where I had walked and driven etc. and then had it turned up a few days later in one of the places that I had thoroughly searched. Makes you wonder …

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’ve got the solution for you. Get rid of all your suits except one. It works for me, and Thoreau would be very proud of you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. whew! i feel such a sense of relief…woohoo!

    Liked by 1 person

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