“Have you ever noticed the peculiar tendency you have to let praise pass through you, but to feel crushed by criticism? A thousand positive remarks can slip by unnoticed, but one “you suck” can linger in your head for days. One hypothesis as to why this and the backfire effect happen is that you spend much more time considering information you disagree with than you do information you accept. Information that lines up with what you already believe passes through the mind like a vapor, but when you come across something that threatens your beliefs, something that conflicts with your preconceived notions of how the world works, you seize up and take notice. Some psychologists speculate there is an evolutionary explanation. Your ancestors paid more attention and spent more time thinking about negative stimuli than positive because bad things required a response. Those who failed to address negative stimuli failed to keep breathing.”
– David McRaney
Notes:
- Be sure to read full post and quote source @ Brainpickings – The Pscyhology of Why We Have a Hard Time Changing Our Minds.
- Find “You Are Now Less Dumb” by David McRaney at Amazon.
- Related Post: Above all, remember the more harm you cause, the more hate you feel…
Information you disagree with linger in your head for days? o.O Interesting!
Yep.
On Wed, May 14, 2014 at 5:20 AM, Live & Learn wrote:
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i agree with the ending. i think it is a primal survival instinct. protect yourself from the negative, from any form of potential enemy, and keep yourself safe. and for some, it may go right back to childhood insecurity, hearing the old tapes playing in the head.
YES. Amygdala. Amygdala. Amygdala.
yes.
I like this a lot. I choose to think this confirms that I am fabulous and deep down I believe I am fabulous too. Lol!
Oh, you ARE FABULOUS!
Ha! ha! Fabulous and probably a bit mad..
Absolutely NOT!
:o)
Hmmm…for those with some serious doubts about their wonderfulness, derogatory comments don’t necessarily ring false (just sayin’…?). Interesting – I’ve got to think about it more before I make a fool out of myself..
OMG. ROFL.
WOOHOO!! It’s been awhile since I’ve elicited that response…makes me happy.
Anyone managing people should read this.
Yep. And let it sink in. And read it again every day.
Reblogged this on THE STRATEGIC LEARNER.
Thanks for sharing John
I’ve always found it interesting that we seek and value perfection without ever, or rarely, experiencing it.
So true Debra.
By paying attention to our emotions we can learn to conquer this, but who pays attention to their emotions? I do believe that it is primal instinct.
So, true. And who reacts to their emotions (ME!)
And – it’s worse if the hurtful words come from someone you care for or that means a lot to you.
Yep. I’m 34 and I will NEVER forget the hurtful things my mother said to me as a child…..and continues to say to me constantly.
Yes November. I understand. I do…
Sorry about that November.
{Hugs}
Deep hurt there RoSy.
We’re talking about this in group right now. Negative life experiences lead to negative core beliefs. When someone else validates that core belief (I’m not enough, etc.), it rings all our psychological chimes. I would argue that criticism supports what we already believe about ourselves.
Yes, so true. And if these negative experiences start young, it is a long road. A interminably long road.
I’ve always found that expression disgusting anyway. I know, that isn’t the point, but it certainly got my attention.
And here I had you pegged as having much more discipline! 🙂
The expression (you suck) is so vulgar that if it was used to describe me I would remember it forever, if only for the expression, not for the real reason I might be considered less than perfect. It’s also a very vague judgment. A person who tells another, “You suck,” doesn’t need to provide any detail about what’s wrong. A cop out, really. And no, I guess I don’t have much self-discipline, unless it’s about something I care a lot about.
I hit a nerve. I promise. I will NEVER say that to you or post it again…
Sorry. I know most people will think I’m old-fashioned. I’ve learned to overlook that expression (but I wouldn’t like it said to my face). Go ahead and post what you like. I don’t have to take it to heart, do I? That’s what makes blogging fun.