It’s Saturday, late afternoon.
Dinner out? Or eat in?
I take inventory of the fridge. Eyes pan from the top shelf to bottom. Not feeling it here.
I take inventory: Sweat pants. Shower-less. Shave-less. Matted hair.
Eat in.
I grab a pencil to scribble out my wish list. I’m about to hand it off.
No chance. You’re coming.
Why?
I’m not listening to you complain that I didn’t get you what you wanted.
Oh, come on.
The K’s are in the car.
You could have put a hat on.
I could have stayed home.
(Silence)
We arrive at Palmer’s Market.
Secret of long marriage? Grab separate baskets and take different routes.
I rumble by the milk, the eggs, the yogurt, the O.J., the enriched white bread and the deli.
I slow by the potato chips, the gourmet cheese, the crackers and the sausage.
I accelerate by the shrimp, I steal a glance at the lobster (save me! save me!), the Atlantic Salmon leers at me.
I’m gliding.
Pulled along by an ethereal force.
Floating down the Lazy River on an inner tube.
There it is.
In hits my lungs first. Freshly baked bread.
I double-pump the air intakes.
Then comes a dazzling light. No, Dazzling Lights.
I slow to take it in.
Chocolate filled Croissants. Jelly-filled donuts. Banana nut bread. Cookies. Home made cookies.
I circle. I circle. I circle.
I’m home. I’ve found my Zen. I’m light-headed.
We intersect near the check-out counter.
What’s in your basket?
Stuff.
Why are you hiding it behind your back?
What difference does it make?
Let me see!
The check-out crew is watching the show.
I look down in my basket.
I look into her basket. (Salad. Asparagus. Tomatoes. Fruit.)
She looks in my basket:
M&M Party Cookies – 1 pound
Chocolate Chip Cookies – 1 pound
Ben & Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream – 1 pint
Kettle Cooked Potato Chips Sweet Mesquite Barbecque
I glance up at the young check-out lady.
She’s tapping her fingers on the empty conveyor belt. And Smiling.
She wants to see what’s in my basket.
I hand the basket to Susan:
“See you in the car.”
Image Credit
Live & Learn 
Ha Ha Ha Ha….. hit and run. I like it. 😉
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That’s right. Harass the man and you own the basket. I’m just glad she didn’t leave it behind on the counter. That would have been a real crisis.
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LOL Lucky man you are…..
That’s my Yoda…. 🙂
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Laughing.
On Tue, Mar 25, 2014 at 7:46 PM, Live & Learn wrote:
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Reblogged this on SherayxWeblog.
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Thanks for sharing.
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Ur very welcome, thanks for posting!
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Smile-inducing!
Russ
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Thank you Russ.
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Why that sounds just like my man and I at the store 🙂
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Women are from Venus…
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My heart rate totally increased when ‘we’ got to the fresh baked bread…
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Smiling. My chest was a-thumping…
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“Then comes a dazzling light. No, Dazzling Lights.” Lol!!!!! David, too funny!
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🙂 Thanks Carol
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OMG ..crying here. Visual is too much. Of course you were drawn to the Heaven section of the store – Bread. Plain, savoury, hot, cold, fresh, few days old (mmmm .. homemade bread pudding!),with jam, cheese, home grown tomatoes, in fact, just about anything. As a utensil (never,ever leave gravy on the plate when bread is at hand).Sweet, especially NZ doughnuts (yes, spelling is correct for these antipodean delights) the size of a small hoagie, split down the middle and filled with fresh whipped cream and fruit preserves). Bread is the food pyramid!
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OMG, my mouth is drooling reading your comment. I have a problem.
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Laughing Out Loud !!! From the start till the end it was H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. I was laughing. You ROCK David. 😀
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And I loved your Basket.
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🙂 Thank you Sonia. I ate the whole thing.
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Haha. You ate the whole thing? wow.
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I guess it’s zen in that you were observing yourself.
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That’s right Ophelia. I’m much deeper than I give myself credit for! 🙂
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Hello, my name is David and…. 😉
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Ahhhh, here we go. From Ms. Goody-two-shoes. Why did I know this was coming.
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You and I must never ever ever go food shopping…anyone interested in heart-attack-on-a-plate for lunch? 😉
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Laughing.
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Right. Staying home was the best idea.
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That WAS my idea. I lost.
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Funny!
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🙂
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you were like a frenzied hansel or gretel following the sweet sugar trail right to the incredible candy house. and you looked up and then – bam!
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Laughing. Exactly. Or a Rat on Cheese.
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I am laughing out loud! Definitely a match made in heaven–you and Susan, your grocery baskets. Why eat salad and asparagus if not to eat M&M party cookies after? Let’s get this party started!
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That’s right. And skip the asparagus and get right after it.
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Running for cover and leaving your wife holding the basket – bet there were a FEW words in relation to that little prank. Love the difference in baskets and can relate to the smell of freshly baked bread that leads you on like a leash made of heavenly smells.
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Laughing. No words. She’s given up.
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What a champ – lucky you.
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Someone in the queue behind me once complained loudly that the checkout woman must have made a mistake because my shopping couldn’t possibly have cost so little. The complainant had their trolley loaded with junk fast foods and had no idea how much cheaper fresh food for home-cooking was. That being said, I normally shop for my groceries on line these days, where it’s easier to do the scrolling equivalent of walking past an item of food as you can’t smell it or see just how yummy and gooey it is!
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Ahhhhh, never thought of that. But it takes all the fun out of it Sarah!
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There is a pattern of behaviour here, DK. Self indulgent, reckless and conscious sugar abuse. I could mention hotcakes too, part of the same story, along with green ice creams, cookie recipes and so on.
I think you could be coached out of it, trouble is I’m not at all sure you want to be coached.
What are we to do about it: applaud your continued online naughtiness and admit that we too harbour the same habits, or try and snap you our of it with regular whacks on the head like this one?
Your call, mister.
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LAUGHING. I WAS SO WAITING FOR MY LONDON SHRINK TO SHOW UP.
“RECKLESS”
“INDULGENT”
“WHACKS ON THE HEAD”
ON.THE.FLOOR.LAUGHING.
And the man goes back to my latest 10 posts and recaps the weaknesses. How can you not love this man.
Let it go Michael. We know you want to share your weaknesses. There has to be 1 or 2. This is a safe place. Only a few of us reading/watching. Bring it.
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Still Laughing. Your comment is the “Comment of the Year”
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I’m not giving up on you,David. I’m going to treat you as my little personal challenge. Every time I spot a post from you effectively thumbing its nose in the face of moderation, I am going to give you a little nip. Not too big, just enough to remind you that we are watching, and, yes, judging, One day you may decide to rectify your ways, in which case I will have made a contribution to the world.
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STILL LAUGHING. I’m trying to decide whether I continue to push and test the limits just to sit in the grass waiting for your comments. I LOVE THIS.
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I have seen this before.. Krispy Kreme memories…..
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Laughing. You have seen the phenomenon first hand!
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Oh to find your calling, your existence in the scent of fresh bread..life is good…
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Laughing. So true Claudia. Bread and me – simpatico!
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Chocolate filled croissants……..now you’re talking. 😀
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Ahhhhh yes, my favorites.
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‘ Secret of long marriage? Grab separate baskets and take different routes.’ lol but its true. Very enjoyable post.
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Thank you Indira 🙂
On Wed, Mar 26, 2014 at 9:33 PM, Live & Learn wrote:
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That sound like a little boys shopping basket!! 😀 It’s a good job you have a sensible woman who know about ‘real’ food! 😉 But – I’ll admit, I do like the bakery section too!
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Smiling. Who can resist the Bakery Suzy?!? 🙂
On Sat, Mar 29, 2014 at 8:41 PM, Live & Learn wrote:
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