Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah

Posted on by Live & Learn

zip line, zip lining

The hotel made us sign a waiver before we stepped on the bus. We had to sign a second waiver at the check-in after we arrived at the Tour Site.

Please read carefully, complete and then sign below.

  1. Has a doctor advised you not to participate in certain activities?
  2. Do you have any fears of the following: closed or open spaces; heights; and/or animals?
  3. Do you have any vision, hearing, or balance problems?
  4. Have you ever had an attack or stroke?
  5. Do you frequently suffer from motion sickness?
  6. Do you have a history of blackouts or fainting?
  7. Do you have motor skill impairments or difficulties?

I understand there are inherent risks in going on the tour, including but not limited to equipment failure, acts of other participants, adverse weather conditions, and forces of nature, and I hereby assume the risk.

“Dad, I can’t believe you’re doing this!”
Silence.
“Dad, you didn’t check off #2!”
Silence. I couldn’t look up at her. I looked down at the clipboard. It was shaking in my hands.
“X” marked the spot. My last rites.

The tour guide strapped on the climbing harness, cinching it tightly around my crotch. (A bit rough, no Pal? Nothing gentle about this handling. He must be prepping my Private Parts for the upcoming turbulence. Head and limb injury came to mind – but never thought about potential damage “there.”) He slipped the helmet on my head, tightened the chin strap and handed me the leather belay gloves. (You’re going to need these pal. Hang on to that bloody cable like your life depended on it.)

We’re walking up the dirt path to the first platform. Single file. I’m following Susan and the kids. Equipment is heavy. Steel cable thimbles and locking carabiners clanking. (I’m walking up the Road to Perdition. I’m winded. It must be pre-shock.)

The lead tour guide is briefing the group on instructions. What not to do. What to do. What to avoid. How to stop spinning. What to do if you get stuck midway over the ravine. He jokes that you can never get passed the platform as the tree will be there to stop you. (His lips are moving. I didn’t hear a word he said. I’m numb. I did catch the joke. Gallows humor. Ha. Ha.)

We were up on the first platform. I couldn’t look down. My eyes locked directly on the tour guide’s forehead. Everything misty, a fog. He explains that the first leg is a “trial run.” (OMG. This is the bunny hill? I’m doomed.)

“Dad. Dad! Are you ready for this?”
Silence. My mouth was dry. My hands? I’m holding a jackhammer.

I’m 8th in line. My mind races to my other memorable bouts of acrophobia.

  • 1980. Celgar Pulp Mill. Summer job. I’m passing tools to a Mill Wright. We’re way up on a pitched, metal warehouse roof. I’m paralyzed.
  • 1981. Cedar Point Amusement Park. One roller coaster ride. Turned green. Sat the rest of game on the bench.
  • 1986. Sulfur Mountain, Banff. Gondola ricketing up the mountain side. Katch-ching. Katch-ching. Katch-ching. My head down looking at floor while the metal box swayed back and forth. I was splayed against the wall at the observation deck.
  • 1989. Sears Tower. Windy City. Wind gently swaying the massive building. I’m splattered against the interior wall.
  • 2005. Empire State Building and Top of the Rock. Looking out on the horizon and not down. Same outcomes. In a fetal position as far away from the windows as possible.

So, one could readily conclude that I’m not in my sweet spot here.

In front of us, 11 separate legs on this zip line tour, the longest @ 1/4 mile and 500 feet of elevation. 4 hanging bridges. (Terrifying). 23 platforms with the toughest requiring a 15-step climb straight up on a ladder, with the depths of valley below your feet. (Horrifying. Feet and hands vibrating here.)

“Well Dad, you can cross this off your Bucket List.”
“Honey, this wasn’t on my Bucket List.”
“Will you do it again?”
“Never again. No. Not in this lifetime anyway.”

It’s said that in order to grow, one should conquer their fears.

I call bullish*t on that.

I achieve maximum pleasure with my two feet planted firmly on the splendor of God’s green earth.

zip lining,ziplining, zip lining

Image Credits: Yes, they are actual shots of me.

53 thoughts on “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah”

  1. Where are you? And that look of terror on your face is paralleled by my awe that you did this despite your fear of heights. Other than facing your fear – did you enjoy it and/or see anything?

    1. The safety and precautions taken by the tour guides was exemplary. They were pros. You were cabled to safety line at all times where there was an potential for risk. The most difficult time during the journey was standing and waiting on the platforms (looking way way down) and walking across the rope bridges (even though you were tied to safety cable here too.) The actual ride was exhilarating. The kids were shocked that Dad did it and did it with some proficiency. Lead guide said I was like a guided cruise missile. I nodded my head like a pro. (Right)

  4. Did your feelings change as you got used to it? You said there were 11 legs. (I can’t imagine how weak and wobbly my 2 would be after the first leg, but anyway.) I would hope that after 6 or 7 legs, you’d feel more comfortable with the launch part. The only place I can fly is in my dreams, but if I worked at this place, I can see flinging myself off the above platform with joy.

    1. Yes, Lynne, the actual “ride” it self was fun and easier to do each time. Harness felt secure. Crew was seasoned and safety conscious. Standing on platform and waiting and looking down. Terror.

  5. Wind in your face moment my friend … WOOF! But in consideration of your celebral nature, consider the musings of Benjamin Disraeli:
    “Fear makes us feel our humanity.”

    I sense you definitely felt your humanity this particular day No?

      1. No lesson to be shared here! I’d beg to differ 🙂 Good on you for doing it anyways!

        I think I’d like to try it but I’m not sure I wouldn’t chicken out once I got up there 😉
        MJ

  8. OMG, there was just…SO MUCH…that is hilarious in this post. Your writing is so descriptive and so amusing so much of the time. I tried to talk Cody into doing the zip line through the redwoods in Santa Cruz for his birthday one year with his friends, but he ended up doing something else (indoor skydiving). You are so funny, David, and so brave. If you can do this, you can CONTROL THAT SLIDE! You can do it all! 🙂

  13. Dave, this post resonated with me on a few different levels. First of all the title grabbed me because Zip a Dee Doo Dah is my favorite song to sing with my grandkids. I taught it to the oldest when he was 3 (5 now) and we have been singing it ever since. It can really change the mood when kids are cranky and grandma is tired. The smiles on my grandsons’ faces while they sing it warm my heart!
    Soooo, maybe you should have sung a verse before embarking on the zip-line course. 😉

    Another reason it resonated is because my husband and I did this two years ago. My idea. I loved the whole experience. He loved looking back on the experience. Funny thing is, he would like to do it again and I feel sort of like “been there, done that.” Maybe because the harness was so darn uncomfortable.

    Of course, the major reason this resonated was because you wrote it so well. Combining your narrative with the picture left no doubt in my mind how terrifying this was for you. Kudos for doing it. Whose idea was it in the first place?

    Suggestion for another much less frightening way to experience heights – paraglide. I did that at Torrey Pines in CA and it was one of the most relaxing things I have ever done. Really felt like a light little bird…

    Keep on sharing your adventures with us!
    Jan

    1. Hi Jan. Thank you for your kind words. And thanks kindly for sharing your own experiences. Whose idea was it? Not mine certainly. Susan and kids are roller coaster fiends so this was just an extension of that genre. As to paragliding, interesting idea. (Ha). I’m going to let a bit of time pass between one terrifying experience to another. And I’m hoping my family isn’t reading your comment because I’ll be jammed into this ride next. Have a great day! Dave

      1. David, believe me, paragliding is NOTHING like zipping along on a line knowing you have to stop yourself before you crash into a tree! It is more like flying or floating. Very lovely and relaxing. Nevertheless, I was the only one in my whole family (5 sons and a husband) who wanted to do it. I am not a thrill-seeker. I just have always wanted to fly.

        p.s. You can delete my comment if you don’t want your family to get any ideas!
        Jan

        1. Laughing. No deletion of comments on this blog! Jan, I’m still recovering from zip lining. I need some time to relax before even contemplating the next adventure. 🙂

  14. Pal, this is you at your finest! I cackled like a mad woman all the way through… You have truly found your métier with this format, my man, and BRAVO to you for powering through *despite* the fear (and yes, it was writ large on your face). I have ALWAYS wanted to do the zip line, and this post just reinforces my determination. The only thing to which I can equate your experience was climbing the Sydney Harbor Bridge. Scared s$&@!?, but the view of the harbor from the top was totally worth it! 🙂

    1. Laughing at the “Scared s$&@! part. Had to look up m�tier – and you left me awestruck at the depth of your vocal. Lori, I have no doubt that you would enjoy zip lining. One suggestion, not a place to go cheap – reputable players only. 🙂

      1. Message rec’d–no cutting corners on the strength of that line (or the heartiness of that harness–frankly they may need to put me in some sort of body cast to engender enough confidence for me to step out into the abyss…..

  15. David! What a great post! I went zip-lining last summer and loved it, but it was one long ride, instead of divided up into sections. The initial idea of jumping off an otherwise steady, secure and stable platform seemed so silly at first. But, like you once flying through the air, it was exhilarating! And, I just love your lead-up to the experience!! You had me cracking up [but I knew ya had it in ya!] So glad you jumped…what a great time for you and your kids/family! What’s next?! 🙂

    1. Laughing. Thank you Bonnie. Actually, I didn’t think I had it in me. Susan and kids had me in motion to go so quickly I didn’t have a chance to think about it. If I had, I’m not sure this would have happened. I think it would have been easier with one long ride. The walk up the mountainside and climbing ladders to new platforms was by far the most difficult part of the journey. As to what’s next, lounge chair in the back yard with toes wiggling in the grass.

  17. I just kept thinking “Why?” I can’t imagine getting into a diving cage and ‘swimming’ with the sharks just to face that fear. I’m perfectly content to let my fears have their own faces, thank you.

    1. ” In full sympathy of course.” Of course! And yes, oddly enough, I question my sensibilities in sharing all my flaws and paranoias for the world to see. That’s grist for a new post. Have a good week Christy.

  20. BRAVO! I was laughing when you said, “Honey, this wasn’t on my Bucket List.” Despite that you did it to face your fears. Cheers my Friend 🙂

  21. David, this is priceless! Your face, your thoughts (as relayed in your post) and description had me laughing and cheering you on. I can relate; we’ve ziplined in a few places and I always have the butterflies of fear in my stomach as we are climbing to the platform. In Jamaica, the zip lines weren’t the worst of it–we had to belay off a 90 foot high platform–backwards! My friend caught my scream on video, its something to hear. Next time, try the Beast at Toro Verde in Orocovis, Puerto Rico. You lay on your stomach and fly like Superman. Its awesome!!

    1. So funny. They asked me to try Superman. I glared at the guide. He got the message. Wouldn’t have guessed you are a zip liner but there you have it. Learned something new today.

  22. Woohoo! Great job David! I have a crazy fear of heights and I did these tree adventures last year. First time was scary and everyone was laughing because I almost wouldn’t step off the platform. After that, I’m hooked! The adrenaline rush is totally awesome! I’m planning my next one 😉

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