Lightly Child, Lightly.

Posted on by Live & Learn

When life is full of tasks, obligations, and events, time carries us, too swiftly it seems, for is it not our perpetual protest about life that there is not enough time for this or that? But those who complain about that—myself at different phases of my life, too—forget how fortunate they are: Life does not guarantee that time has the capacity to carry us. Time flies, time is fleeting, but then there comes a moment when time, no longer nimble-footed, no longer winged, is for us to carry.”

— Yiyun Li, Things in Nature Merely Grow (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, May 20 2025)

Notes:

  • 50% of the way in. Tough subject (losing two sons to suicide) but beautifully written.
  • NY Times Book Review (May 21, 2025): “Writing Into the Abyss After the Death of Two Sons.” In “Things in Nature Merely Grow,” the novelist Yiyun Li endures the aftermath of unthinkable loss.”
  • Guardian Book Review: “‘Things in Nature Merely Grow by Yiyun Li review – a shattering account of losing two sons”
  • Post Title & Inspiration: Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

33 thoughts on “Lightly Child, Lightly.”

  1. Wow, pal, this one sounds like a tough go, but also worthy of attention. I am intrigued by the examination of time. Just returned from two weeks in Africa and I found my sense of time while there significantly altered. I was struck by the ways in which the timing of our days’ activities was dictated by nature…sunrise and sunset, the movement of the animals, etc. It was positively therapeutic. The false sense of urgency I carry dissipated and I was able to breathe like I haven’t in years. Got my attention….

    1. Beautiful, peaceful comment to start this post. Thanks for sharing Lori. “False sense of urgency” and “timing of days dictated by Nature” will stick with me.

    3. What a wonderful experience, Lori. Unplugging from here and being open to the different perspectives and beliefs, amidst amazing landscapes and caring people, can be transformative.
      Travel expands us more and more when we are open. 💝

    4. Same here, Lori. I just got back from a week in Portugal. I’m doing my best to preserve how I came back feeling for as long as I can.

    5. “…The false sense of urgency I carry dissipated and I was able to breathe like I haven’t in years….”
      This is great words, I noted too. Impressed me. Thank you, Love, nia

  2. Regardless of how beautifully this book is written, I could not read it right now because I am already overwhelmed by the pain of observing everything that is wrong in the world at this moment.

    I cannot imagine anything worse than losing a child. In fact, I know someone who lost two of three… One in a car accident, and another from a brain aneurysm.

    I am making these statements from a position of complete ignorance, as I have no children of my own. Losing a child is something that I cannot even comprehend.

    I am trying to minimize my exposure to negativity right now… Without being completely ignorant of what is going on in the world. It’s a tricky balance. One could say that I am in survival mode when it comes to my mental health.

      1. You are not alone in being drawn to these kinds of books. I read some of them as well. Perhaps we are trying to learn how to better cope in difficult times by studying the challenges that other people have.

  3. I am in Scotland right now, with a list of practical things to take care of … and still absorbing the different, yet so familiar slower change of pace, and natural sense of camaraderie and community.
    There is a sense that we are all surviving and want to support each other to thrive and enjoy life.
    Take time in nature and find joy in the little things. 🙏🏻

  4. P.s. … taking time to acknowledge the dark and shadow side, allows the light to shine more brightly. Part of the journey is to get to know the dark. We will, when we are courageous and ready . x

  6. Thank you for sharing, David.
    A few years ago, you graciously accepted a guest post from me about leaving my job and why. What no one knows is that since then I have gone back to that same job. When I interviewed to go back, one of the managers asked me one question only. “What changed, Sawsan?”
    This was the only question that needed to be asked, really, and I love her for asking it.
    What changed was me. I have learned to lighten my grip on things. Tight grip is not the right thing in that setting.
    And since we’re talking about Time here, I have since then lightened my grip on time. And it seems to move slower now.
    Because, Lightly Child, Lightly…..

  7. Time’s Eyes by Riley Pearce Give it a listen in connection to this. DK… again…. Thank you

  9. Sometimes the effort of keeping good thoughts is so damn exhausting that I crave a mechanism to shut it off. Escapism is the method for me – less news, more time outdoors, less debate, more silence.

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