Sadly, I feel as though these days many are looking for reasons to be offended….
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Truth!
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So many people are feeling victimized these days. As Lori says, it’s sad … and a reflection of how we have lost connection with each other. Instead of “them” and “us” it must be “we” … not only for pleasant interactions, but ultimately the survival of us all.
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Truth Val. Truth.
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And your thought reminded me of another passage by Margaret Renkl:
To make it through the gathering disquiet, I will need embodied connection… I will need to seek comfort in the warmth of others this year. Whenever the cold creeps in, wherever the dark night pools, I will need to look for others. I will need not pixels but voices. Not distances but reaching hands.
I love her words! I’ve been thinking the same and am going to have an open gathering on Zoom for connection and uplifting each other on Jan 27.
Thanks for sharing Dave. I will use her words 🙏
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great idea Val. Thanks.
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I know exactly how she feels! And I get particularly annoyed when others try to tell me that receiving such lovely words is wrong. Pffft!
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Preach!!!
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Yes!
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Well, they call me Miss Pretty. Including Father Rex, a priest.
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I wonder if that very sensitive young woman would have preferred that the elderly guy scowl at her and tell her she’s ugly, because inside, I suppose she is rather ugly if she has to turn everything to the negative. I bet that when she’s his age, she would give the last of her loose eyeteeth to have someone say she’s pretty.
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Yes!!!
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I have no problem with it at all!
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It’s unfortunate but we’ve lost sight of the basics, like treat others with respect and assume good intentions. When did we become so sensitive?
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Like most pendulums, we swing back and forth — sometimes swinging further to one side than the other.
As a woman who suffered through too many unsolicited approaches, I understand the desire to respond vehemently to a compliment through the lens of experience it as an example of the patriarchy strutting its sexist nature.
I think the grace comes in accepting the vast majority of people we encounter are coming from good intention. In that space of seeing the good in others, I can hear their words with grace and respond from the same place.
And for those whose intentions I judge as not being quite so honourable, I get to smile and respond sweetly, Thank you. And move on – with grace.
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Well said Louise. Yes.
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I‘m in love with that elderly gentleman! and I take ANY compliment with a smile and inner gratitude. As I can‘t read the whole letter I can only go by that extracted paragraph and I‘m all with the writer. Being giddy with joy and well-feeling sounds so right. Never mind if the ‚other person‘ just had a nasty day, was living in a tantrum or is just a sourpot, I certainly wouldn‘t worry about it.
At a care home, where we Nordic walkers meet for coffee and mostly for a friendly get-together after the ‚hard work‘ (ha), there is sometimes a really gruffy, unfriendly woman at the till. Once, after she was particularly unfriendly to every customer, I said to her: I‘m sure you‘re facing difficulties, is there anything I can do to make you feel better? She stared at me and didn‘t answer. BUT she asked nicely if I wanted for something else, and thanked me for my custom.
We were astonished and I discussed the matter at our table. Some of the walkers know her from their work with her and said that she ALWAYS is like that. She even was reprimanded several times before by the management. We found that in an old people‘s home this kind of unfriendliness really shouldn‘t happen. We are able to counteract but frail, lonely ppl cannot…. And so we decided amongst us that we should be particularly friendly with said woman, whenever we were confronted with her in the future. May compliments and an ounce of feelings for the next live forever! And who knows, we might even convert the one or other grumpy person, sooner or later.
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I‘m in love with that elderly gentleman! and I take ANY compliment with a smile and inner gratitude. As I can‘t read the whole letter I can only go by that extracted paragraph and I‘m all with the writer. Being giddy with joy and well-feeling sounds so right. Never mind if the ‚other person‘ just had a nasty day, was living in a tantrum or is just a sourpot, I certainly wouldn‘t worry about it.
At a care home, where we Nordic walkers meet for coffee and mostly for a friendly get-together after the ‚hard work‘ (ha), there is sometimes a really gruffy, unfriendly woman at the till. Once, after she was particularly unfriendly to every customer, I said to her: I‘m sure you‘re facing difficulties, is there anything I can do to make you feel better? She stared at me and didn‘t answer. BUT she asked nicely if I wanted for something else, and thanked me for my custom.
We were astonished and I discussed the matter at our table. Some of the walkers know her from their work with her and said that she ALWAYS is like that. She even was reprimanded several times before by the management. We found that in an old people‘s home this kind of unfriendliness really shouldn‘t happen. We are able to counteract but frail, lonely ppl cannot…. And so we decided amongst us that we should be particularly friendly with said woman, whenever we were confronted with her in the future. May compliments and an ounce of feelings for the next live forever! And who knows, we might even convert the one or other grumpy person, sooner or later.
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Beautiful…
Like Lori said, it feels like everyone is looking fir a reason to be offended these days.
An elderly patient called me ‘girl’ the other day. All I did was hold the elevator door.
My coworker thought it was offensive.
Please!!!!
Not offended, and realized I LOVE when someone calls me ‘girl’
Sadly, I feel as though these days many are looking for reasons to be offended….
Truth!
So many people are feeling victimized these days. As Lori says, it’s sad … and a reflection of how we have lost connection with each other. Instead of “them” and “us” it must be “we” … not only for pleasant interactions, but ultimately the survival of us all.
Truth Val. Truth.
And your thought reminded me of another passage by Margaret Renkl:
To make it through the gathering disquiet, I will need embodied connection… I will need to seek comfort in the warmth of others this year. Whenever the cold creeps in, wherever the dark night pools, I will need to look for others. I will need not pixels but voices. Not distances but reaching hands.
— Margaret Renkl, from “Taking a Cue From the Squirrels in My Birdhouse” (NY Times, Jan. 8, 2024) https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/politics
I love her words! I’ve been thinking the same and am going to have an open gathering on Zoom for connection and uplifting each other on Jan 27.
Thanks for sharing Dave. I will use her words 🙏
great idea Val. Thanks.
I know exactly how she feels! And I get particularly annoyed when others try to tell me that receiving such lovely words is wrong. Pffft!
Preach!!!
Yes!
Well, they call me Miss Pretty. Including Father Rex, a priest.
I wonder if that very sensitive young woman would have preferred that the elderly guy scowl at her and tell her she’s ugly, because inside, I suppose she is rather ugly if she has to turn everything to the negative. I bet that when she’s his age, she would give the last of her loose eyeteeth to have someone say she’s pretty.
Yes!!!
I have no problem with it at all!
It’s unfortunate but we’ve lost sight of the basics, like treat others with respect and assume good intentions. When did we become so sensitive?
Like most pendulums, we swing back and forth — sometimes swinging further to one side than the other.
As a woman who suffered through too many unsolicited approaches, I understand the desire to respond vehemently to a compliment through the lens of experience it as an example of the patriarchy strutting its sexist nature.
I think the grace comes in accepting the vast majority of people we encounter are coming from good intention. In that space of seeing the good in others, I can hear their words with grace and respond from the same place.
And for those whose intentions I judge as not being quite so honourable, I get to smile and respond sweetly, Thank you. And move on – with grace.
Well said Louise. Yes.
I‘m in love with that elderly gentleman! and I take ANY compliment with a smile and inner gratitude. As I can‘t read the whole letter I can only go by that extracted paragraph and I‘m all with the writer. Being giddy with joy and well-feeling sounds so right. Never mind if the ‚other person‘ just had a nasty day, was living in a tantrum or is just a sourpot, I certainly wouldn‘t worry about it.
At a care home, where we Nordic walkers meet for coffee and mostly for a friendly get-together after the ‚hard work‘ (ha), there is sometimes a really gruffy, unfriendly woman at the till. Once, after she was particularly unfriendly to every customer, I said to her: I‘m sure you‘re facing difficulties, is there anything I can do to make you feel better? She stared at me and didn‘t answer. BUT she asked nicely if I wanted for something else, and thanked me for my custom.
We were astonished and I discussed the matter at our table. Some of the walkers know her from their work with her and said that she ALWAYS is like that. She even was reprimanded several times before by the management. We found that in an old people‘s home this kind of unfriendliness really shouldn‘t happen. We are able to counteract but frail, lonely ppl cannot…. And so we decided amongst us that we should be particularly friendly with said woman, whenever we were confronted with her in the future. May compliments and an ounce of feelings for the next live forever! And who knows, we might even convert the one or other grumpy person, sooner or later.
I‘m in love with that elderly gentleman! and I take ANY compliment with a smile and inner gratitude. As I can‘t read the whole letter I can only go by that extracted paragraph and I‘m all with the writer. Being giddy with joy and well-feeling sounds so right. Never mind if the ‚other person‘ just had a nasty day, was living in a tantrum or is just a sourpot, I certainly wouldn‘t worry about it.
At a care home, where we Nordic walkers meet for coffee and mostly for a friendly get-together after the ‚hard work‘ (ha), there is sometimes a really gruffy, unfriendly woman at the till. Once, after she was particularly unfriendly to every customer, I said to her: I‘m sure you‘re facing difficulties, is there anything I can do to make you feel better? She stared at me and didn‘t answer. BUT she asked nicely if I wanted for something else, and thanked me for my custom.
We were astonished and I discussed the matter at our table. Some of the walkers know her from their work with her and said that she ALWAYS is like that. She even was reprimanded several times before by the management. We found that in an old people‘s home this kind of unfriendliness really shouldn‘t happen. We are able to counteract but frail, lonely ppl cannot…. And so we decided amongst us that we should be particularly friendly with said woman, whenever we were confronted with her in the future. May compliments and an ounce of feelings for the next live forever! And who knows, we might even convert the one or other grumpy person, sooner or later.
Beautiful…
Like Lori said, it feels like everyone is looking fir a reason to be offended these days.
An elderly patient called me ‘girl’ the other day. All I did was hold the elevator door.
My coworker thought it was offensive.
Please!!!!
Not offended, and realized I LOVE when someone calls me ‘girl’
Smiling. Funny.