He points to those with hidden symptoms in a chapter reflecting on the deaths of Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade and Alan Krueger. There is mental and physical agony in this life, and Bruni does not judge anyone’s decisions; rather, he grieves the losses and appreciates the grace. There is virtue in stoicism, but there is also danger in what strong people can hide. His own situation has made him even more keen to understand the other whose public face contradicts a private suffering. He proposes that each person should have a sandwich board listing her pain and how she adapts: “Imagine that our hardships, our hurdles, our demons, our pain were spelled out for everyone around us to see.” Bruni’s sandwich board would read: “Eyesight compromised, could go blind.”
You ask, why announce your troubles? Doesn’t everyone have something? “Well, yes. Tell us anyway,” I think Bruni would reply. Maybe if we knew, we might slow down, turn and fumble toward each other. Perhaps, then I could say that you’re not alone, and I’m rooting for you, because I am.
— Min Jin Lee, in her book review of Frank Bruni’s “The Beauty of Dusk: On Vision Lost and Found” titled “Eyesight Compromised. Could Go Blind.” (NY Times Book Review, Feb 28, 2022). Bruni had a rare stroke several years ago which damaged his optic nerve and severely impaired his eyesight. Read more here.
Live & Learn 
Part of the book description says, ‘Confronting unexpected hardships, he felt more blessed than ever before. Although vision was lost it was also found.’
Can I add, this is exactly what I discovered confronting my tragedy however, you can’t give this wisdom or understanding to someone by writing about it.
It has to be awakened in them by a direct experience in life.
Most people love reading these books but never believe this could happen to them.
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So true Karen. Don’t think it will happen to us. Don’t believe it will happen to us. Can’t imagine it will happen to us. Dread it will happen to us. All blended together in Hope.
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Yes I totally understand that and my only hope is that you trust, no matter what you face in life, each of us has the strength and resilience that will arise exactly when we need it. 🙏🏻
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I watch you and have read you story, and you are epitomize this. All of it.
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Thank you my friend 😌
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i love this
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Me too Beth.
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Far too much here for me to identify with – just not with such eloquence.
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Me too. So me too.
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Moved…
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Yes!
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So relate…went with hubby to an urgent care appointment (that I made for him), late this afternoon…I’d been pestering him to go see someone..they sent a Stat referral to a specialist group, think he has cancer…I had to pressure him like I did before he was gravely ill, they thought, the on call doctor and the surgeon thought he had aggressive cancer, he didn’t though he almost passed away, they didn’t think he’d lived to make it to the operating room…Now me, twice they said I think you have cancer they did biopsies years apart, different areas I didn’t . Then 2 years ago I made an appointment I told the doctor I have cancer she looked at me…she said I think you might…had two cancer surgery within a month of each other…It is different when I myself received my diagnoses, my husband was shocked as I place the phone on speaker, sitting it on the cutting board and we stood across from each when the doctor gave us the news…I said where do we go from here? I never broke down, since I knew in my gut that I was right…it is so different hearing those words again when it is my husband…we both agreed that we think this doctor is wrong, and we don’t know anything yet & soon we will…I do know that I’m over due to see my oncologist & months overdue for a different cancer screening…I’ve had friends tell me I am strong & that I keep things to myself this is true though I always thought I was an open book. So you never know when your sitting in traffic and you glance at the people in the car next to you what burden they may be shouldering.
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Thank you for sharing. LOVE LOVE your closing line. So true.
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May I be irreverent? When glancing at the people in the next car…what if they are careless lousy drivers? Forgiveness!! no matter what! We never know about others, and often not about ourselves.
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Truth!!!!
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🙂
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