Lightly child, lightly.

bird-flock-see-feel

A light so continuous and so intense was so far beyond my comprehension that sometimes I doubted it. Suppose it was not real, that I had only imagined it. Perhaps it would be enough to imagine the opposite, or just something different, to make it go away. So I thought of testing it out and even of resisting it. At night in bed, when I was all by myself, I shut my eyes.

I lowered my eyelids as I might have done when they covered my physical eyes. I told myself that behind these curtains I would no longer see light. But light was still there, and more serene than ever, looking like a lake at evening when the wind has dropped. Then I gathered up all my energy and willpower and tried to stop the flow of light, as I might have tried to stop breathing. What happened was a disturbance, something like a whirlpool. But the whirlpool was still flooded with light. At all events I couldn’t keep this up very long, perhaps only for two or three seconds. When this was going on I felt a sort of anguish, as though I were doing something forbidden, something against life. It was exactly as if I needed light to live —needed it as much as air. There was no way out of it. I was the prisoner of light. I was condemned to see.

― Jacques Lusseyran, And There Was Light: Autobiography of Jacques Lusseyran, Blind Hero of the French Revolution


Notes:

  • Photo: Татьяна Кошутина (via Hidden Sanctuary)
  • Prior “Lightly child, lightly” Posts? Connect here.
  • Related posts for Jacques Lusseyran
  • Post Title & Inspiration: Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”

 

Comments

  1. Phosphenes – insistence that no matter what there is always, always light…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ‘a prisoner of light’ – wow.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is impossible for me to wrap my mind around what there was before the big bang: no light, no air, no matter, etc., that there was nothing. What does ‘nothing’ look like?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful…
    As I was reading this a notification flashed at the top of my screen, my copy is ready for pick up from the library across the street.
    But they don’t open for another two hours. So I’ll just close my eyes and see The Light.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Fascinating and haunting.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A great piece! Some who must do without, yet are still not without it.
    Two quotes that I keep close, that confirm that the most needed things that are most critical to us are found in the angst of their absence.
    “My heart is restless until it finds rest in Thee.” – St. Augustine; and, “in His will is our peace.” – Dante
    -Alan

    Liked by 1 person

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