Privileged? Check

Lou Weiss, is a carpet salesman in Pittsburgh. These are excerpts from Privileged? Check Let me count the ways—without embarrassment:

Somewhere along the way, privilege went from something to be grateful for to something to be embarrassed about. As I approach 60, I have been doing the stocktaking prompted by such round-number birthdays and have decided to “give back,” as the saying goes, by performing a public service. I hereby declare myself the World’s Most Privileged Person…

What makes me so privileged? Let’s get the easy ones out of the way, those that are accidents of birth: male, white, straight. I have continued to self-identify as such…

Next come those privileges that reflect the hard work of others: Middle-class-moving-to-upper-middle-class upbringing by two wonderful parents who are still vital. I live in a country where my God-given freedom was articulated by the Founders and is maintained by the selflessness of U.S. soldiers…

Now come my own choices that make me so privileged. I have always been a pretty hard worker, have few vices and am fairly frugal. This allowed me to pay for the schooling of four daughters and make substantial charitable contributions. I don’t know what a single malt scotch is, let alone ever tasted one. Much of my wardrobe is from Costco. And to this day I can’t bring myself to purchase blueberries out of season.

My all-time best decision was marrying a woman with a beautiful face and a pitch-perfect personality. Privileged to spend every day with her? You bet…

The privilege of friendship is also mine. Some friends I’ve known since grade school; all of them stick with me even if they are sick of my politics and puns.

I have multiple sclerosis, which doesn’t sound like much of a privilege, but the timing was: Modern drug companies in search of profits have made medicines that help those with MS live better for longer than they ever have before. I am privileged to have doctors whose passion for their work is palpable…

So here’s my formula for becoming the World’s Most Privileged Person: Get a job in high school, find friends of substance rather than substances, work with people you like, marry happily, dress British and think Yiddish. If you can top that, I would happily surrender the title. It would be a privilege.