32 years of marriage.
We can rely on the integrity of my portioning of responsibility for the tenor of the marriage or you can call on the Children, those coming from her womb…still tethered…but, come on, you can’t really count on them to be objective, right?
Or, you can come to your own conclusion.
Listen up.
There are ground rules, rails, that permit the Holy Union to remain One for more than 30 years. There are simple rules that follow a grueling day: 1) no requests to share the day’s highlights and 2) the maintenance of a strict quiet zone for 10-15 minutes. That’s it.
So, when simple rules are broken, the Union is tested.
It’s 6:45 pm. It’s the tail end of a long day. I’m sitting alone at the kitchen table. The fork hovers over meatloaf, mashed potatoes and a generous river of brown gravy. Susan sits in the family room (respecting the quiet zone). The Nightly News offers background noise with gaps filled with commercials for Viagra, Depends and Bradshaw pitching remedies for Shingles. The irritation level ratchets up from high to Red Zone. Network idiots feeding me this crap during the dinner hour. Are there no boundaries?
I scan the NY Times Opinion pages. I turn the page and the bubble is popped. I lift my head slowly from the paper. I hear words but cannot decipher.
Excuse me?
Have you thought about trying Rogaine?
Excuse me?
Have you thought about not cutting your hair so short?
What?
I stare at her.
She stares back at me.
She’s serious.
I’m teetering, on the edge of a tipping point here.
I drop my head down, re-grip my fork and get back at the meatloaf.
“Holy Crap, how DID I get so lucky?”
Inspired by:
Wait for someone who says, “Holy crap, how did I get so lucky?” when you walk in the door, absolutely exhausted from work at 6pm after being married for 30 years. Wait for that, it’s more than worth it.
– My grandpop’s advice to me today
Notes: Photography – baldingmen.com (really)
So… how was the meatloaf?…
Here’s an extramarital virtual hug.
((hug))
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Smiling. The meatloaf was the highlight of the day!
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Thought it might be …. 😊
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Baldingmen.com??? lol I guess there IS a whole society of those guys out there…and I think it could maybe also be called everyguy.com. Awww, 32 years of marriage, so wonderful…so not me. You ARE lucky.
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Smiling. Thanks Carol.
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I read your wonderful slice of life piece, aloud (btw, he enjoyed your piece) as we were eating dinner…Salmon, steamed green beans and fried potatoes…cooked by the dear husband…the movie “The Odd Couple” playing in the background…I was popping mini Reeses pb cups, until that dinner bell, good thing it was gym day… I think there is lamenting, material for a “country and western” tune in your humorous descriptive piece… and ditto, awww to the wonderful union of 32 years…PS: I have a green light to go to funk jam night, tonight, solo – as he is too tired.
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o[ted to stay in…
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Salmon, green beans and fried potatoes – sounds wonderful.
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here’s to hugs, love, space, and meatloaf.
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That’s not a fair representation of you, David…! The pic, I mean…!
As for the rest… I’m unsure. I see you as sweet, kind, tolerant, long suffering, etc., etc. I believe you’d have to have been dragged along the road by a bus, shot in the foot by a watergun toting teen, or such other craziness to emit an unromantic stare at your wife whilst eating meatloaf, or at anytime.
Tell me it isn’t so, David…
As for baldingmen.com – funny vid. Though I’m not certain the punch line was worth the wait.. Just sayin’….. 😀
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Ha! Thanks Carolyn. All I can say is that I’m lucky she doesn’t have a Blog.
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Congratulations, David. 32 years plus kids – you gotta be doing a lot right.. 😉 😉
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That’s what I keep telling them Carolyn!
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😉 😉
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Show Susan this link! Always honest, heartfelt writing Mr Kanigan. 🙂 32yrs is more than just luck.
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=famous+bald+men&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj1lLyXtIDLAhWDKaYKHRl2CNoQsAQIGw&biw=1280&bih=651
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Ha! Thank you Karen.
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The river of brown gravy is key in all this. I trust it is piping hot, a little spicey, with a dash of velvety wine and served with enduring love.
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Smiling. You are right. It is all about the gravy. 🙂
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Great writing, as always, David. I’d just add one simple rule to get to 40. Stay out of my hair. That goes both ways. And it works.
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Smiling. Thank you Helen. That’s is the secret sauce. And if you missed this, be sure to check it out: “What Romance Means after 10 years of Marriage:
http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/02/what-romance-means-after-10-years-of-marriage.html?mid=twitter-share-thecut
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32 years…you might just make it ! 💕 Good call on the quiet zone after work. It took me a while to understand that one.
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Smiling. Thanks Van
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CONGRATS on 32 years, pal, nothing to sneeze at. Relationships are such interesting beasts–learning to read the emotional landscape of another person, respecting the no-fly zones and the non-negotiables, knowing when it’s OK to press your advantage and when it’s best to fold up your tent and retreat. It’s a delicate dance. I used to watch the interactions of my grandparents, who had been married close to 60 years when my grandmother passed, with utter fascination. The delicate pas de deux of nonverbal communication was something to behold. They could have a whole conversation preparing b’fast without saying a word. Priceless. Go kiss your wife….
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Smiling. 60 years. Wow!
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Yep. Impressive, and something that I will never achieve, but boy do I admire it…
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Congratulations
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I see balding men as VERY attractive. I will take an interesting bald man over any fluffly-haired interesting man. They’re sensual; they exude testosterone (that’s why their top hairs are gone). Baldness is a statement of maturity, sensitivity and wisdom. I’m happily married for over 40 years…we’ve had plenty of highs and lows. What has been constant is our committment to each other, inspite of our differences. He’s much taller than me; I can’t see the top of his bald spot. However, when I do, I smile. Hold your head high, David. Don’t bother with the Rogaine.
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Smiling. You’ve earned The Comment of the Year award. Thank you. No Rogaine here!
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What makes the marriage work, not allowing the mundane to threaten commitment’s longevity, is in the two word phrase of the second paragraph above: “HOLY UNION.”
A marriage not considered sacred loses its magic and cohesiveness: selfless love.
-Alan
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Well put Alan. Thank you
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I’m dragging today, so nothing of wit or charm from me, but this was all just too good to go un-commented. Congrats on your 32 years to you and Susan, and i say skip the Rogaine – embrace who you are – that’s always a much better look and I laughed out loud at your comment about being glad she doesn’t have a blog..so good!
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Smiling. (I’m damn lucky she doesn’t have a blog. Wow. I am so lucky)
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WOW WOW WOW – that makes it 35 years of marriage NOW…. You seem so much younger on your blog writing – you‘re nearing retirement ago I‘m sure by now – LOL…..
You ARE lucky, and so Susan seems to be. And good that she doesn‘t have a blog, I‘m also quite 250% sure that she reads your posts and comments and therefore you both get my warmest wishes for more lasting happiness with each other. I have the highest respect for every couple who makes it….. And having children too!
I‘m with my 2nd (and last!!!) husband married for 21 years and although we have (at times far too) much to heatedly discuss, I didn‘t even know that you can love and appreciate somebody in such untold ‚quantities/measures‘, even though/because you know them so well, inside and out. I‘m thankful that Sawsan put that link in….
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Laughing. It is 35 now. And “you seem so much younger on your blog” – implies a lack of maturity. I get that too!
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NOOOOOOO – that‘s so NOT what I said – you‘re reading between the lines in a foreign language! It was a HUGE compliment
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Laughing. The fact that you ride along with me and my blog, you can say just about anything and I’d be thrilled!
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