Most of us do not live a life of monastic rigor. Our days are full of jagged edges and jangling moments. But most of us do have quiet routines that inform our lives. We rise each morning and greet our day in the same fashion. A first cup of coffee, a glance at the paper, a certain way we bathe and prepare for our entry into the day — these do not change. They are the rituals by which we shape our days. But we do not value them as rituals. To us they are the ordinary — sometimes comforting, sometimes mind-deadening — activities that give a familiar sameness to our life. Far from honoring them, we pay them no heed. We see them as routines, not as paths to awareness. My time in the monastery taught me otherwise. To be sure, the monks lived a life of deep sacramentality and prayer, and that was the true source of their spiritual vision. But the mindful practice of their spiritual exercises spilled over into the way they carried on their daily affairs. They were present to nuance, aware of the space around events. A cup of tea, a meal partaken, a moment shared with another — all commanded their absolute focus. They had tuned their spirits to a fine and subtle sensitivity, and nothing passed unnoticed or unhonored.
~ Kent Nerburn, Of Coffee Mugs and Monks in Small Graces: The Quiet Gifts of Everyday Life (New World Library. 2010)
Notes:
- Image: Mro.org.
- Related Kent Nerburn posts: Clouds & I step quietly from my bed

The discipline and belief that no moment is one to be dismissed…we should all be working on that one. A powerful reminder in its reverence.
Yes. And I’m so far from realizing this…but awareness of the gap is step 1, no?
yes, my friend, yes.
lovely. these rituals offer us comfort as we ease into and get through another day of unknowns. they remain our constants. i recently read that one of the things that dying people tell their caregivers is that they so wish for ‘just an ordinary day.’ yes.
Beautiful. Full stop.
Reminds me of:
This may be a workshop, but I’m the one learning. Part of what I’ve learned is that if it isn’t life and death, it isn’t life and death. I have learned that every moment is precious. I know now that cancer is not an isolated experience; cancer is part of life. I have learned that to be witness to one another’s lives is the greatest of gifts. Thursday afternoons are sacred. Carol Dwyer, one of the writers, puts it perfectly: “Our bonds are quickened by the proximity of death,” she says.
~ Abigail Thomas, What Comes Next and How to Like It: A Memoir (Scribner. 2015)
Thank you for sharing this-
love this–a perfect way to start my birthday day!
Happy Birthday!
what choice did you have but to say that – lol
Ha!
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
The need to be “in the moment” ….. yearning for peace, quiet and bring away from “speed” …
Noticing and honoring these moments is powerful.
I’m pausing in awe as I type letters into a device that communicates through the air and connects us all!😃
Funny, I often think the same thing Val…
Reblogged this on Bright, shiny objects! and commented:
Yes…
Yes for me too Todd. Thanks for sharing.
chop wood, carry water, man.
That’s it. Period.
I’ve heard it said that the family yogi is the hardest yogi, i.e., to be in the world. On retreats I find ritual in everything. In daily life I am challenged to remember.
Thanks Jane. I need to find more ritual in everything.
Dave,
Nothing we do, whether in routine or the spectacular, is ordinary when offered for the glory of God.
-Alan
And Alan rings the Bell!
This resonated with me today. I was just thinking this morning about how dull my morning routine was before going to work and wishing I had a magic wand that could just do it all for me at once. This has given me a new perspective.
So glad…
Loved reading this great piece of writing this morning. Here I am deep in thought then go deeper after reading this. Great timing David for you to share. Thanks
And I do love the line, “present to nuance, aware of the space around events”. We need more of this in our lives.
All the best – Michael
Thanks Michael. That line punches well above its weight….loved it too.
I love what Alan A. Malizia,said.
For me, I try to as part of my needed, valued early morning Solitude to ask God to Order my steps as I go on about my day. .Ephesians 6:10-17 (NIV) Routine and effective habits are important. Setting the tone personally, for the day. The mindful action of doing takes focus and moves us forward..& helps to prepare us for what lies ahead. As we all know, Some days have more than their fair share of challenge within the breath of life – so one needs to remember to breath deep & draw upon the strength gained in Solitude..I am breathing deep and gritting my teeth today..Inward challenge – physical pain with any movement & some frustration with that. .Each breath is a gift.
What Kent Nerburn said, is true.
” But the mindful practice of their spiritual exercises spilled over into the way they carried on their daily affairs.”
Further thoughts on, Solitude. It is a choice to engage with oneself, to continually cultivate my inward self. Reaching for daily peace & inner strength, grounds & refuels me. . Within our inner self lies much wisdom….
Lot’s to chew on here for me Christie…
I was having a weak moment in the midst of frustration…sorry for being grouse-y not my general attitude or demeanor. Overall, my day was, a good day.
Practice practice practice. That’s the only way to live this way ❤ beautiful
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I would like a monks life for a bit
Me too!
This is a wonderful affirmation that I am, perhaps, for the first time in my life, doing something honourable in noticing the small stuff. Thank you x
Fantastic Julie.
I don’t think there is a ritual i value more than being the first one up in my apartment and quietly drinking a cup of coffee. Ok, possibly the only one I enjoy more is the same set up, but at the beach.
I don’t drink coffee, don’t yearn the taste, yet I feel like I’m missing out on one of great rituals…
Reblogged this on Gr8fullsoul.
Thanks for this David. I had a little experience this weekend and just knew you had something somewhere that would go with.
https://srevestories.blogspot.com/2018/09/a-quiet-gift-of-everyday-life.html
Thank you Steve.