I always have this sense that something is going to resolve my spiritual anxieties once and for all, that one day I’ll just relax and be a believer. I read book after book. I seek out intense experiences in art, in nature, or in conversations with people I respect and who seem to rest more securely in their faith than I do. Sometimes it seems that gains are made, for these things can and do provide relief and instruction. But always the anxiety comes back, is the norm from which faith deviates, if faith is even what you would call these intense but somehow vague and fleeting experiences of God. I keep forgetting, or perhaps simply will not let myself see, what true faith is, its active and outward nature. I should never pray to be at peace in my belief. I should pray only that my anxiety be given peaceful outlets, that I might be the means to a peace that I myself do not feel.
~ Christian Wiman, My Bright Abyss: Meditation of a Modern Believer
Notes:
- Photograph: Robert Farber, Seeing Montana, 1992 via Arsvitaest
- Related Christian Wiman Posts: The most blinding illumination, Screaming into Silence and Bang our very bones to roust our own souls, Something is off
Or forget faith and seek out evidence. The universe is wondrous without the need for magic.
It is that (wondrous)…
I’m with you, GC. When it doesn’t make any sense, find another belief.
I feel like we’re in the middle of a conversation.. 😉
Well, we can point to you for starting it with “Barely Breathing.” It is still lingering.
And then I point to you for getting the ardent desire to believe and the unforgiving pull of doubt. Want another cup of coffee?
With Danish (or two), perhaps.
Of course! Though, I would give an awful lot for a really good, crusty NY bagel about now.
+ Cream Cheese.
And a slice of onion…and tomato. Oh gee, I’m drooling.
Me too!
I’ll second that…..
See, the wise one (Lori) agrees with me…
Welllll, actually, DK, I was *trying* to agree with your comment regarding Mimi’s shimmering post “Barely Breathing,” but as fate would have it my comment queued up right after your Danish remark. Jillian isn’t pleased….
Laughing. I’m going with my interpretation and my Danish. Period.
It sounds like your danish is filling in the gaps left by faith 🙂
Awwww, nice!
thanks for the depth of this passage and the playfulness of the carb chat.
🙂 It’s not so playful (it’s real!)
Reblogged this on In Search of Bliss and commented:
A prayer
Thanks for sharing Bob
I simply pray each day that I can recognize all of the good around me as I go through my day and I am grateful for all of the good.
Great way to start the day Billy, thanks for sharing.
Super photo… Spiritual anxieties stay with us always
They do Rajiv, they do…
Death resolves everything.
It certainly brings finality to this life…
Thanks for the post. You have a great variety of wonderful posts. As a person of faith this one especially caught my eye. I think there will always be a sense of mystery followed by questions of “what if…” I am a follower of Jesus so my questions tend to be: “What if the stories about Jesus are true?” “What if the tomb is empty?” “What if we are invited to live a sacrificial life, living for something greater?” “What if…” Anyway enjoyed the post and for some reason I also feel the need to ask “What if I had a pastry?”
Thank you. And smiled as the pastry finish. What can’t be topped up with a pastry? Your wonderful comment reminded me of another passage from Christian Wiman:
If only I had words I would have penned down how I felt… I have always got something to refuel my soul on your Blog. And I always get what am looking for… Answers to my questions, solutions to my problems and certainty for my doubts. It’s like this is the best place to shop (:
Awwwwww, welcome back Sonia. Thank you for the kind words.