“Pay attention to when the cart is getting before the horse. Notice when a painful initiation leads to irrational devotion, or when unsatisfying jobs start to seem worthwhile. Remind yourself pledges and promises have power, as do uniforms and parades. Remember in the absence of extrinsic rewards you will seek out or create intrinsic ones. Take into account [that] the higher the price you pay for your decisions the more you value them. See that ambivalence becomes certainty with time. Realize that lukewarm feelings become stronger once you commit to a group, club, or product. Be wary of the roles you play and the acts you put on, because you tend to fulfill the labels you accept. Above all, remember the more harm you cause, the more hate you feel. The more kindness you express, the more you come to love those you help.”
– David McRaney
Quote Source: Brainpickings – The Benjamin Franklin Effect: The Surprising Psychology of How to Handle Haters. Image from Amazon.
Love this. I don’t agree that intrinsic rewards present themselves only in the absence of the extrinsic, but within the greater context, that’s a nit.
you are one deep girl–I’ll have what she is having–I would like to be smart too
If this isn’t the pot calling the kettle black!!
never have I heard that phrase used in a good context- thanks Mimi–
You’ve never heard of “the pot calling the kettle black?” How far North in Canada do you live?
I live as south in Canada as you can get–my town (Kingsville) and another town (Leamington) and part of a municipality (Colchester South) and an island (Pelee Island) all claim this designation–but I think we win
I meant I had never heard the phrase used in a “good” way
Yes, I am even smarter now, thanks to two Davids.
Smiling. Thanks Ann
Thank you, David! This post left me wanting more!! I shall explore!! Cher xo
Me too Cher. Powerful.
So much to like and ruminate upon here….
Smiling. On marinate. I AGREE!
Right On! 🙂
Reblogged this on Quote Bard and commented:
Right On!
Thank you for sharing.
So much wisdom in a single paragraph and post (and in Mimi’s comment)! Thank you!
Russ
Russ, I couldn’t agree more.
Wow. I have to read this over and over…so it’s going up on my wall at home (will join a few others you’ve posted…btw.).
🙂 Thanks Bonnie. I agree. This packs a big punch with a whopping closing.
It’s so true that the more harm I cause, the more hate I feel (mostly for myself)
Poison spewing everywhere…
I’m also a big fan of David McRaney’s You Are Not So Smart podcast.
My first exposure to him. I need to check out his podcast. Thanks for pointing me to it.
‘The more kindness you express, the more you come to love those you help.’
yes. the math in this statement works every time.
Math proofs out…yes. 🙂
This is fantastic. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and simple truth.
Thanks Sheri. I thought so too…
Sometime’s we miss the obvious. Yes, now I will be less dumb. 🙂
🙂 Me too!