Above all, remember the more harm you cause, the more hate you feel…


“Pay attention to when the cart is getting before the horse. Notice when a painful initiation leads to irrational devotion, or when unsatisfying jobs start to seem worthwhile. Remind yourself pledges and promises have power, as do uniforms and parades. Remember in the absence of extrinsic rewards you will seek out or create intrinsic ones. Take into account [that] the higher the price you pay for your decisions the more you value them. See that ambivalence becomes certainty with time. Realize that lukewarm feelings become stronger once you commit to a group, club, or product. Be wary of the roles you play and the acts you put on, because you tend to fulfill the labels you accept. Above all, remember the more harm you cause, the more hate you feel. The more kindness you express, the more you come to love those you help.”

– David McRaney

Quote Source: Brainpickings – The Benjamin Franklin Effect: The Surprising Psychology of How to Handle Haters. Image from Amazon.


  1. Love this. I don’t agree that intrinsic rewards present themselves only in the absence of the extrinsic, but within the greater context, that’s a nit.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, I am even smarter now, thanks to two Davids.


  3. Thank you, David! This post left me wanting more!! I shall explore!! Cher xo


  4. So much to like and ruminate upon here….


  5. Right On! 🙂


  6. Reblogged this on Quote Bard and commented:
    Right On!


  7. So much wisdom in a single paragraph and post (and in Mimi’s comment)! Thank you!


  8. Wow. I have to read this over and over…so it’s going up on my wall at home (will join a few others you’ve posted…btw.).


  9. It’s so true that the more harm I cause, the more hate I feel (mostly for myself)


  10. I’m also a big fan of David McRaney’s You Are Not So Smart podcast.


  11. ‘The more kindness you express, the more you come to love those you help.’
    yes. the math in this statement works every time.


  12. This is fantastic. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and simple truth.


  13. Sometime’s we miss the obvious. Yes, now I will be less dumb. 🙂


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